SLLM (Single Lady Large Mortgage)

MaddyHale

Hi Sistergold Just read your diary from the start. It was wonderful to see women talking about money and Excel spreadsheets earlier on in the thread. It was music to my ears. I split up from my partner last year and planning to buy a house soon. So I will soon become a SLLM. Well done on regular posting and your OPs

Sistergold

joshiesaunt said:

@SistergoldI have not had time to read the full thread but you are doing well and are an inspiration.  Do you work in the finance industry may i ask?  I couldn't dream of saving as much as you but its good to see how single minded you are.

Oh hello @joshiesaunt
Not sure how I missed your post! Wellcome and thank you for your kind words. It’s good when we get together as single ladies so we can be an inspiration to each other! You are so kind, I really didn’t think I am saving that much as it seems like every time I have a goal it’s going to take so long to get the money together!! 

Please feel free to share your story! Everyone here is so supportive! We are truly stronger together! 

XX

Sistergold

MaddyHale said:

Hi Sistergold Just read your diary from the start. It was wonderful to see women talking about money and Excel spreadsheets earlier on in the thread. It was music to my ears. I split up from my partner last year and planning to buy a house soon. So I will soon become a SLLM. Well done on regular posting and your OPs

Oh hello @MaddyHale
Welcome to SLLM! Thank you for your compliments. The ladies here are such spreadsheet wizards and we are really all set to go far! Please keep us updated about your house purchase! This is a kind of good time to buy a house with the stamp duty on hold? 

Sorry to hear about your split but I have found some good also comes out of it as you can now do what is best for your. 

MaddyHale

Great news from my IFA @sistergold I just got a Decision in principle from the Lender. . And I am  now approved to borrow £481,000. I was like Nooooo! I don't want all that. How would I pay the mortgage and sleep at night? Now where are my big girl knickers?
I was thinking about what you said upthread about moving lenders and paying fees when the mortgage product ends. So I am thinking maybe 2 year fix first and then 5 year fix later. The headline low rates on some of the 2 year always look so tempting but the set up fees are soo expensive.

Sistergold

@MaddyHale
Wow welldone @AIP! £481k that’s a huge mortgage! Yes talk about a debt giving you sleepless nights this one surely does! But hey it’s your house get the best and you pull up your socks and you will get used to the figure! Oh the satisfaction of having done it alone is immense! 

You will be queen of your castle 🏰! 

Just borrow what you need for the house that you love in the area that is ideal and safe for a single lady! 

I have personally never taken a fixed rate ever, I know that I do like taking risks and I like being able to overpay whenever I want, I do see the logic though. 

Please keep us posted as house buying is always exciting news! 

Xx

MaddyHale

@Sistergold
Thanks for lending your perspective to this it Pretty much sums up my house search.

Just borrow what you need for the house that you love in the area that is ideal and safe for a single lady! 

My must haves are:

1. 3 bedrooms, sizeable master bedroom + office space for me
2. Walking distance to mainline station for me
3. Walking distance to each of kids' schools
4. Enough storage space
5. Garage
6. Dining room
7. Driveway
8. Hallway large enough to swing a small cat in
9. Good sized garden 
10. Detached?

Have I missed anything?

Sistergold

@MaddyHale
That list looks comprehensive enough! 

Also to think about,
11. Not too close to busy road

12. No graveyard at the back! Not even joking I saw a few houses and the prices were very good only to find that the back fence is backing the graveyard? I might cope with it as an adult but my children have such an imagination it would have caused me ongoing problems with them coming to my bedroom at night dreaming of ghosts! Needless to say as a single parent I don’t need all that. 

Xx

Hazelnutty

@clarissa62 Good luck for your decree absolute! Mine came through so quickly it kinda knocked me off my feet, even though the separation was my decision. So worth taking some time to process it all. I've moved close to XH but unfortunately the flexibility I'd hoped for is not forthcoming. In fact, DD overheard XH's new partner claiming that, when I asked them to have DD for an extra afternoon when the water was turned off and the building work too noisy for her to concentrate on home-schooling, I was 'using him' and 'palming my daughter off on them' We've tried SO hard to keep everything amicable but this kind of thing just throws me. Luckily, DD is having none of this and totally realises that we always want her around and it's them that seem to want the childfree life. It's funny but I've always had an 'off' vibe from the new partner. I couldn't put my finger on it but so many little things I've seen/heard just confirm my gut instinct. It's only going to get harder as DD gets older and can put her foot down about going there. I don't think XH realises the risk to his relationship with his daughter unless he starts investing in it.

Hazelnutty

This thread has become a real sisterhood (wish there was a Rosie the Riveter bicep-curl emoji!!) Yay to us supporting each other along the way after a separation!

slm6002

I'm going through the same thing with OH and waiting for my decree nisi (although there is a backlog apparently).  It is very much a 'now i don't live with the children i will only pay attention if i have them' kind of thing.  He has them for just over 24 a fortnight but often has naps or makes sure he needs to take them shopping for his weekly shop when he has them.  If it was the other way round i would make sure that short space of time is filled with quality time.  I guess that's why I'm not with him anymore as priorities are not like mine