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Help please...messy divorce

245

Comments

  • KittyHawk
    KittyHawk Posts: 20 Forumite
    Sixth Anniversary 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    I'm confused: do you mean £37.5 k? 
  • KittyHawk said:
    I'm confused: do you mean £37.5 k? 
    Yes I do. After re reading it I realised I’ve added an extra 0....
  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    KittyHawk said:
    I'm confused: do you mean £37.5 k? 
    Yes I do. After re reading it I realised I’ve added an extra 0....
    Ye that's not going to happen. Not in a million years. Bless him for trying

  • We have discussed about the financial agreement and child arrangements (we have 4 children together and own the house joint mortgage) (pay off both sides of debts from sale of house then split remaining 50/50) and was going to proceed with a solicitor to get this drawn up. 
    He has came home today and is refusing to sign the divorce papers. He wants to give me £375000 to take my name off the mortgage (this was my money for the deposit) or he won’t sign the divorce. 
    The house is probably worth £290000 and there is £150000 outstanding in debts mortgage included.
    Are those numbers correct?
    If the house is worth £290K with shared debts of £150K that leaves equity of £140K to divide between you (and the shares may not be equal if you provided the deposit). So if he want to pay you £375K for your share, why would you refuse?
    More generally, what difference does it make to you if he buys you out, or if you receive the same amount of money from the sale of the house? Either way, you end up with the same lump sum but nowhere to live.

    Oops after re reading it I’ve added an extra 0 on. It should read £37500. 
    My head is all over the place with all of this, the lockdown and my grandfather passing away on Wednesday. 
    I’m more concerned that he thinks I’ve made no contribution towards the mortgage as I stayed at home for 10 years raising our children. He seems to think he has to come away from this better off as he put more £ in.
  • bouicca21
    bouicca21 Posts: 6,719 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    He seems to think he has to come away from this better off as he put more £ in.
    Then he will have a rude awakening.  Courts take the view that staying at home and looking after home and children is in itself a contribution (how much woud it have cost to hire hep to do that?).  If you have not worked then you need to think about how to have some sort of transition period that will enable you to take up employment to support yourself.  

  • pphillips
    pphillips Posts: 1,631 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    The courts can place a lot of value on looking after the home and the children, especially if this means the parent staying at home is giving up a lucrative career.

    https://www.lawgazette.co.uk/news/wife-awarded-400k-for-sacrificing-her-solicitor-career/5103294.article
  • comeandgo
    comeandgo Posts: 5,930 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Does your husband have any pensions?  The value of the pensions are also shared.  Sometimes a play off can be done, eg I will leave your pension alone if you give me the house.
  • bouicca21 said:
    He seems to think he has to come away from this better off as he put more £ in.
    Then he will have a rude awakening.  Courts take the view that staying at home and looking after home and children is in itself a contribution (how much woud it have cost to hire hep to do that?).  If you have not worked then you need to think about how to have some sort of transition period that will enable you to take up employment to support yourself.  

    I left my job when I was pregnant with my first child who is now 14. We then went on to have 3 more children so I stayed at home for 10 years to bring them up. I started a new job 3 1/2 years ago, I work nights in a care home. We have arranged for him to have the children on the nights I work so I can continue this. I’m very fortunate that I have set shifts. 
  • comeandgo said:
    Does your husband have any pensions?  The value of the pensions are also shared.  Sometimes a play off can be done, eg I will leave your pension alone if you give me the house.
    No he doesn’t he’s self employed and has no pension. I do through work but I’ve only been working 3 1/2 years so there hasn’t been a great contribution to it. 
  • Thank you to everyone for your advice. I got in touch with a solicitor yesterday. I have an initial appointment via telephone booked in for Thursday so I can get a better idea of what I should do. 
    I don’t want to fight dirty with him and wish it would just be more amicable. But I’ve got to protect my children’s future. 
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