Carers with Corona virus

Spoonie_Turtle

I'd kind of written this thread off but couldn't find a way to remove it from my notifications, and the above posts make me very glad I dared peek back again.

Gratitude, joy, gladness, a positive mindset, etc. - they're all a way of life. So are criticising, complaining, seeing the negatives, etc. But they are also all choices we can make (and yes, even if we have mental illnesses - mental illness is not a choice of course, but every single one of my friends with MI still choose to be positive as far as is within their control, including one elderly lady who is often unable to leave her house due to OCD. She is grateful for the good things in her life despite - or perhaps, especially because of - her debilitating illness). My Nan was a complainer, but a great-aunt of the same age was eternally appreciative. Both were fiercely independent and stubborn, both were hospitable (sounds odd but yes my Nan was despite her negativity) and both had very poor health with almost no mobility - the main difference was in their attitude. Guess which one had more visitors and friends!

People are wired in different ways but the way that we consciously think reinforces those connections, those neural pathways, so a positive outlook is a choice - even if it means cutting off or challenging the negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones. It can be hard work, but just like anything else it gets easier with practice.

I personally choose not to worry* - yes, take sensible precautions and to look out for others as far as possible, but we can't predict the future or what restrictions will be in place, we can't predict whether stores will be restocked or how soon, and we can't actually predict whether we will fall ill very far ahead. We can only do what we can with the knowledge we have, and fretting about it won't help. If anything, the stress hormomes from worrying will lower our immune systems and make it more likely that we'll be really ill if we do get it! There is a difference between planning for likely scenarios, and *worrying* about it. One is a sensible course of action, the other is not.

*But with due regard to those who are more vulnerable than I am, obviously. I'm not one of these idiots who thinks I'm probably okay so I don't have to wash my hands, cover my mouth, whatever. All that comes under basic hygiene, and being more vigilant about it comes under sensible precautions!

50Twuncle

Thanks - I have emailed our local council for advice on our situation and as for my P-I-L - My wife has offered to drive 150 miles to drop off a large quantity of food (as long as we can physically get some) - wave to them through the window and drive back home again !

Savvy_Sue

50Twuncle said:

Thanks - I have emailed our local council for advice on our situation and as for my P-I-L - My wife has offered to drive 150 miles to drop off a large quantity of food (as long as we can physically get some) - wave to them through the window and drive back home again !

I think while she is there it would be worth while going into the local shop / looking at posters / getting the phone number for the local church and seeing what other options there might be. 

pollyanna_26

50Twuncle said:

Thanks - I have emailed our local council for advice on our situation and as for my P-I-L - My wife has offered to drive 150 miles to drop off a large quantity of food (as long as we can physically get some) - wave to them through the window and drive back home again !

I'm very pleased to read this. You and your wife will be less worried knowing you've done what you can to help them. Very good advice from Savvy-Sue which we can all benefit from. It's good to see your new signature.  A positive attitude beats negativity every time.

Thank again to Alice and best wishes to poppy and her dd. Both you and Alice have been very helpful when I've had PIP and ESA SG questions.

I'm glad you came back Spoonie Turtle there's nothing worse than an unfinished story. Look after yourself.

Something we have nowadays which wasn't availabe during the great flu pandemic and other worrying times is the ability to connect with others via the internet. It means we are not alone and can support each other. We are stronger together.

Spoonie- Turtle try clicking on your user name. It should take you into your profile. At the top on the right hand side you will see 3 lines one above the others. If you click on them it should bring up a page  where you can choose to accept or block notifications. You'll see boxes you can tick or untick according to what you want.

Eta You need to click on the bell.

polly

badmemory

It was interesting this morning.  My friend lives next door to a Drs surgery.  Normally on Monday mornings the doctors car park is packed, so at least 18 including 2 disabled.  This morning only 4 & no disabled!  I expected less in the circumstances, but down to less than a quarter, it brings it home doesn't it?

50Twuncle

pollyanna_26 said:

50Twuncle said:

Thanks - I have emailed our local council for advice on our situation and as for my P-I-L - My wife has offered to drive 150 miles to drop off a large quantity of food (as long as we can physically get some) - wave to them through the window and drive back home again !

I'm very pleased to read this. You and your wife will be less worried knowing you've done what you can to help them. Very good advice from Savvy-Sue which we can all benefit from. It's good to see your new signature.  A positive attitude beats negativity every time.

Thank again to Alice and best wishes to poppy and her dd. Both you and Alice have been very helpful when I've had PIP and ESA SG questions.

I'm glad you came back Spoonie Turtle there's nothing worse than an unfinished story. Look after yourself.

Something we have nowadays which wasn't availabe during the great flu pandemic and other worrying times is the ability to connect with others via the internet. It means we are not alone and can support each other. We are stronger together.

Spoonie- Turtle try clicking on your user name. It should take you into your profile. At the top on the right hand side you will see 3 lines one above the others. If you click on them it should bring up a page  where you can choose to accept or block notifications. You'll see boxes you can tick or untick according to what you want.

Eta You need to click on the bell.

polly

Except that my MIL has still not grasped the importance of self isolating - tellling her daughter, in a phone call, yesterday that she is avoiding people except for an OAP club that she attends, normally twice weekly - she is "only going on Tuesday, this week"

Savvy_Sue

badmemory said:

It was interesting this morning.  My friend lives next door to a Drs surgery.  Normally on Monday mornings the doctors car park is packed, so at least 18 including 2 disabled.  This morning only 4 & no disabled!  I expected less in the circumstances, but down to less than a quarter, it brings it home doesn't it?

I think that GPs have gone over to phone consultations only, across the country. 

silverwhistle

50Twuncle said:

Except that my MIL has still not grasped the importance of self isolating - tellling her daughter, in a phone call, yesterday that she is avoiding people except for an OAP club that she attends, normally twice weekly - she is "only going on Tuesday, this week"

Not ideal, but reading some doctors on this their view is that chains of transmission must be reduced, and anything which helps that aim is to be welcomed.

50Twuncle

50Twuncle said:

Thanks - I have emailed our local council for advice on our situation and as for my P-I-L - My wife has offered to drive 150 miles to drop off a large quantity of food (as long as we can physically get some) - wave to them through the window and drive back home again !

STILL nothing from my local council - I guess that they have to prioritise ?

pollyanna_26

50Twuncle said:

50Twuncle said:

Thanks - I have emailed our local council for advice on our situation and as for my P-I-L - My wife has offered to drive 150 miles to drop off a large quantity of food (as long as we can physically get some) - wave to them through the window and drive back home again !

STILL nothing from my local council - I guess that they have to prioritise ?

All services including local councils are overwhelmed at the moment as they're trying to deal with care, education and many other issues.

Best advice is to read the info from NHS England or other areas of the UK.. Schools here are now switching to online teaching and social clubs for many age groups are suspended until further notice. Your MIL may find that's the case with hers.

All GPs seem to be opting for telephone appts. A wise choice when they not only need to protect patients but themselves and their staff otherwise it's pointless having plans in place.

As another poster said it's all about the chain of infection if that can be broken as much as possible it should help minimise further infection.

Best wishes to you and yours.

polly