Carers with Corona virus

50Twuncle

A cheque card I guess!!
They don't  believe in credit

born_again

50Twuncle said:

A cheque card I guess!!
They don't  believe in credit

Really?
Cheque guarantee cards stopped years ago. 30/06/2011 to be exact.

In fact it would be usual to find any shop that would still take a cheque due to the retailer processing costs.

Alice_Holt

50Twuncle said:

[My Elderly Parents in Law] can't afford to stockpile any food
They have always bought for from the 'corner shop' paying cash and don't even have a credit or debit card,
They only have a bank account because the local post office closed a few years ago 
They do not trust home delivery
He is virtually immobile and she has a heart problem
And no internet
They are set in their.ways
Which worries us........[as they are 150 miles distant]

   If that is the case, then it would seem that your wife's concerns should be foremost with her parent's, and her caring duties focused on their well-being as they are clearly much more vulnerable and much less able.  

Savvy_Sue

NeilCr said:

Perhaps they/you should have a word with the "corner shop" to ask - if it came to it- if they could deliver for a couple of weeks.

on the radio I've heard about at least one local shop which was offering to do just this. DH is trying to get something set up locally whereby someone phones isolated people regularly to check they are OK and see if they need anything. I think there will be a lot of local schemes: finding them easily may not be straightforward and knowing who's offering the services needed even less so. 

Alice_Holt

Savvy_Sue said:

NeilCr said:

Perhaps they/you should have a word with the "corner shop" to ask - if it came to it- if they could deliver for a couple of weeks.

on the radio I've heard about at least one local shop which was offering to do just this. DH is trying to get something set up locally whereby someone phones isolated people regularly to check they are OK and see if they need anything. I think there will be a lot of local schemes: finding them easily may not be straightforward and knowing who's offering the services needed even less so. 

    This is an example - 
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/14/coronavirus-campaign-launched-offering-help-to-those-self-isolating
"Eighty-seven groups have been formed across the country to offer practical support for those in self-isolation, as well as phone calls. Volunteers are organising WhatsApp and Facebook groups, and are holding meetings online alongside distributing flyers in the street."

Nice to see some positives, rather than the spectacle of supermarket shelf's being stripped of essentials by the idiots amongst us. 
   
Your husband deserves to be congratulated, Savvy Sue.

pollyanna_26

born_again said:

50Twuncle said:

They can't afford to stockpile any food
They have always bought for from the 'corner shop' paying cash and don't even have a credit or debit card,
They only have s bank account because the local post office closed a few years ago !!
They do not trust home delivery
He is virtually immobile and she has a heart problem
And no internet
They are set in their.ways
Which worries us........

So do what the rest of us do in such instances.
Take the matter out of their hands.
Order the food online for them.
If they have a bank account, but no cards, no internet. Just how do they get cash?

Sadly you seem to find a problem with every answer that is thrown at you.

100% agree with this. OP you have had many rambling threads which go round in circles. A recent one concerned your savings. If I had family struggling to buy food I'd be doing it for them. You've mentioned your savings many times so i would suggest you help them while seeing if there is a better way for them to cope. They may be unaware of help they could access and some useful advice could help. However no doubt you'll come up with another "but".

I'm a full time carer for an immune suppressed adult daughter wiith my own health problems. It is very important to have a plan in place for both yourself and your wife. We are fortunate to have an outstanding GP. He sees my dd face to face every two weeks. We had a call from the surgery yesterday to let us know he would phone at her regular appt time and he did the full checks over the phone.As she has a medical grade thermometer he could get accurate readings and check her present condition. All non urgent appts are deferred for now and meds will be handled by our registered pharmacy. This will continue during the present situation. He's even got a back up plan should she develop the virus.This strategy will protect both us and himself . He's on the frontline so needs protecting too.

I believe your time would be better spent looking into what you and your wife can do now to plan. It may not be needed but it''s better to have plans in place whether needed or not.

Maybe finding a more positive signature would be a start!

polly

Alice_Holt

pollyanna_26 said:

born_again said:

50Twuncle said:

They can't afford to stockpile any food
They have always bought for from the 'corner shop' paying cash and don't even have a credit or debit card,
They only have s bank account because the local post office closed a few years ago !!
They do not trust home delivery
He is virtually immobile and she has a heart problem
And no internet
They are set in their.ways
Which worries us........

So do what the rest of us do in such instances.
Take the matter out of their hands.
Order the food online for them.
If they have a bank account, but no cards, no internet. Just how do they get cash?

Sadly you seem to find a problem with every answer that is thrown at you.

100% agree with this. OP you have had many rambling threads which go round in circles. A recent one concerned your savings. If I had family struggling to buy food I'd be doing it for them. You've mentioned your savings many times so i would suggest you help them while seeing if there is a better way for them to cope. They may be unaware of help they could access and some useful advice could help. However no doubt you'll come up with another "but".

I'm a full time carer for an immune suppressed adult daughter wiith my own health problems. It is very important to have a plan in place for both yourself and your wife. We are fortunate to have an outstanding GP... He's even got a back up plan should she develop the virus.This strategy will protect both us and himself . 

    I just wanted to offer you and your daughter my best wishes, polly.
   Sounds like you have put a sensible plan in place.
    

pollyanna_26

Thank you Alice and my best wishes to you.I understand it's not always possible for some people to find proper advice online whether for lack of access or knowing how to sort the wheat from the chaff.

My dd suffered from overwhelming anxiety for decades but thanks to Superdoc was able to trust and talk to him on the landline yesterday and will be doing so until the present situation is sorted.

I doubt the OP has ever heard of Pollyanna Whittler but I first came across her as a child in the 50s. There was still some rationing in place then and I watched my parents and neighbours helping those who were struggling. Many breadwinners returned from war physically or mentally damaged and unable to find work. my younger sisters weren't impressed but I adopted the "Glad game".

However bad things are it's always possible to find some light in a situation and never give up.

Something I learned is to never give up. My dd has had a long road over the last 20 years but she's in a good place now thanks to a GP who never gave up. Her appts feature a lot of laughter with Superdoc and that's a long way from all the times she couldn't face him.

There will be sources of reliable advice for the OPs situation but it requires being proactive. Apart from his home situation there may be help for the inlaws in their 90s. if they struggle to afford food they could be missing out on benefits. At their age they may qualify for physical support in daily life. It all depends on whether the OP wants to keep complaining or bite the bullet.

Take care

polly ( Still playing the glad game)

Alice_Holt

    At my local Citizens Advice, I am frequently humbled by the attitude of some of our disabled clients. They, too operate the "Glad Game", a "positive and optimistic outlook Pollyana* learned from her father. The game consists of finding something to be glad about in every situation, no matter how bleak it may be".  

   There is a huge variation in human motives and attitudes (as this and other threads may reveal), and some people will always find fault in the efforts of others trying to help them. My local Citizens Advice has its share of serial complainers. The volunteers, trying to help their local communities, who have to put up their nonsense deserve great credit.       

With my best regards, and take care.  

*Pollyanna by Eleanor H. Porte

poppy12345

pollyanna_26 said:

100% agree with this. OP you have had many rambling threads which go round in circles. A recent one concerned your savings. If I had family struggling to buy food I'd be doing it for them. You've mentioned your savings many times so i would suggest you help them while seeing if there is a better way for them to cope. They may be unaware of help they could access and some useful advice could help. However no doubt you'll come up with another "but".

I'm a full time carer for an immune suppressed adult daughter wiith my own health problems. It is very important to have a plan in place for both yourself and your wife. We are fortunate to have an outstanding GP. He sees my dd face to face every two weeks. We had a call from the surgery yesterday to let us know he would phone at her regular appt time and he did the full checks over the phone.As she has a medical grade thermometer he could get accurate readings and check her present condition. All non urgent appts are deferred for now and meds will be handled by our registered pharmacy. This will continue during the present situation. He's even got a back up plan should she develop the virus.This strategy will protect both us and himself . He's on the frontline so needs protecting too.

I believe your time would be better spent looking into what you and your wife can do now to plan. It may not be needed but it''s better to have plans in place whether needed or not.

Maybe finding a more positive signature would be a start!

polly

I also want to add my best wishes to you and your daughter and i'm glad to hear her GP is so supportive!