School v countryside

Spendless

IF I was making a decision to move based on schools I would prioritise pastoral care over results every time.

I was foolish enough to think an Ofsted outstanding school was the best I could do for my kids. One of my children became seriously ill through school issues because the school cared more about their results than problems such as bullying.

Schools can change over time. Staff and HT come and go, exam systems change, Governments can put different policies in and Ofsted can change what they'e looking at in an inspection.

In addition though it seems to go on forever at the time, one day school life is over for your children. My eldest is at Uni 100 miles away, my youngest at FE college 40 miles away though she lives at home and commutes. Long term I don't expect and nor do I want them to make their future lives here. So, at that point what about you. Are you happy to live where you've moved to?

Purplepineapple

I would look at the bigger picture as schools can change quickly. When my daughter got into her primary school it was rated outstanding but a few years down the line it really changed. Academically she fell behind and the discipline was really bad. Loads of parents withdrew their kids.
The only concern is maybe future employment opportunities. I have family in Bude and saw lots of young people leave as there were not many job opportunities in the area.

MysteryMe

Many rural areas suffer from social deprivation and there is juvenile delinquency, often triggered by boredom. I would subscribe to local online newspapers to get a true picture of what is good and what is bad. It is fanciful to think that as the children get older they will still love messing around in the country, they will be just as likely to be glued to their laptop as any other child.

You don't say where in Surrey you are, it's generally an affluent county. There is a huge difference between suburbia and a deprived inner city.

I would think hard about further education and future employment opportunities, Devon is not an area teaming with well paid work and housing is not cheap. Many desirable areas suffer from second home owners who are not there all the time so little opportunity to make friends with any children they may have.

To be honest there are plenty of nice coastal areas on the south and east coast where you can get your fresh air and still benefit from easy access to many facilities and career options found in the south east.

suki1964

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I guess I meant more that when you've lived in a city, you usually identify with a part of it - a suburb - more than all of it. So I'm a Londoner, yes, but I'm from Sarf London - north of the river is a foreign country ...

It's the same here. There are parts of this city built in the last 100 years, where the descendants of the family who moved in initially is still there. And the parents, cousins and assorted other rellies are still within walking distance.

So to anyone outside the city, I can say "I live in X". But to someone who lives here, I'd have to say "I live in Y, it's near Z, you go up THAT road and turn off at this point."

Battersea born and bred

I have actually seen more of the UK since I moved here to Norn Iron Just yesterday I was in Birmingham, Kidderminster and Liverpool, places I had never been to in all the 44 years I was a Londoner as you are right, north of the river is foreign

Here, everyone is related to each other. Seriously. Im considered. odd as I don't know surnames of everyone I meet. When you say "that fella John" for instance, you are asked his surname and straight away you see the cogs twirling as John is the fella who married yer woman who was married to your sisters BIL lol

Kids here grow up where they are born, with Granny and grandad either next door or the next road, even in the same house. Aunties and uncles are also in the same road. Lasses marrying farmers go move into the family home till their home is built on the families land, girls who don't marry farmers stay close to mummy, at least in the same Townland if not village. They go from. infants, to Primary to Secondary with the same group of friends. They go to their weddings, are godparents to their children and are coffin bearers at their funerals. Not like being a Londoner where you grew apart from the kids in the street and the ones you went to primary school with as your secondary might be miles away in another direction. Then Uni or work takes us another direction. I can barely remember the names of my neighbours from where I grew up and classmates? Not a clue

I just say what Townland I live and everyone finds us, theres not many who weren't born and bred living here. TBH that also sets me very much apart. Ive been welcomed with open arms and yet I don't have these long ties so Im often missed out in conversations as I don't have a clue and I do yearn sometimes for those ties that being a Londoner hasn't allowed


But as I say, I love it here and would never go back to city living. I think if I had my chance again I would have moved to a market town. I know we won't see our days out here and we will have to move closer to town as it will be impossible to be independent out here with no family to be looking out for us, but we have time yet to really think about what will suit us more for our twilight years

For the OP, I would say start really thinking about where she is intending to move. Busses right now ( as there was here when we came ) but they can be pulled at any time - what then? Four mile drive because theres no milk ( you won't get milkmen or newspaper deliveries ) which is ok in the summer, but with snow and ice on the road? What contingencies are going in place for when the power is off for 3 days which happens a lot with over head power lines. The list is actually endless. All things I honestly never even knew I had to think of when we moved and I wished I had done

BrassicWoman

I hated growing up in a village with literally no one my age. I am always jealous of people who are still in touch with school friends. I have a great social circle now, but no one who knew me back when, and I sometimes feel rootless.

Let your kids have a choice of friends.

iksbedd

suki1964 wrote: »

Battersea born and bred

I have actually seen more of the UK since I moved here to Norn Iron Just yesterday I was in Birmingham, Kidderminster and Liverpool, places I had never been to in all the 44 years I was a Londoner as you are right, north of the river is foreign

Here, everyone is related to each other. Seriously. Im considered. odd as I don't know surnames of everyone I meet. When you say "that fella John" for instance, you are asked his surname and straight away you see the cogs twirling as John is the fella who married yer woman who was married to your sisters BIL lol

Kids here grow up where they are born, with Granny and grandad either next door or the next road, even in the same house. Aunties and uncles are also in the same road. Lasses marrying farmers go move into the family home till their home is built on the families land, girls who don't marry farmers stay close to mummy, at least in the same Townland if not village. They go from. infants, to Primary to Secondary with the same group of friends. They go to their weddings, are godparents to their children and are coffin bearers at their funerals. Not like being a Londoner where you grew apart from the kids in the street and the ones you went to primary school with as your secondary might be miles away in another direction. Then Uni or work takes us another direction. I can barely remember the names of my neighbours from where I grew up and classmates? Not a clue

I just say what Townland I live and everyone finds us, theres not many who weren't born and bred living here. TBH that also sets me very much apart. Ive been welcomed with open arms and yet I don't have these long ties so Im often missed out in conversations as I don't have a clue and I do yearn sometimes for those ties that being a Londoner hasn't allowed


But as I say, I love it here and would never go back to city living. I think if I had my chance again I would have moved to a market town. I know we won't see our days out here and we will have to move closer to town as it will be impossible to be independent out here with no family to be looking out for us, but we have time yet to really think about what will suit us more for our twilight years

For the OP, I would say start really thinking about where she is intending to move. Busses right now ( as there was here when we came ) but they can be pulled at any time - what then? Four mile drive because theres no milk ( you won't get milkmen or newspaper deliveries ) which is ok in the summer, but with snow and ice on the road? What contingencies are going in place for when the power is off for 3 days which happens a lot with over head power lines. The list is actually endless. All things I honestly never even knew I had to think of when we moved and I wished I had done

Thank you for your reply.

The village we are looking at isn't THAT remote; it has a village shop, a village school, a pub and an active village hall and community. It is not far from the main road either, so maybe I've over-sold the "rural". It's not the middle of nowhere, but is compared to where we are now if that makes sense.

pickledonionspaceraider

iksbedd wrote: »

Thank you for your reply.

The village we are looking at isn't THAT remote; it has a village shop, a village school, a pub and an active village hall and community. It is not far from the main road either, so maybe I've over-sold the "rural". It's not the middle of nowhere, but is compared to where we are now if that makes sense.

So what have you decided? Are you viewing houses?

iksbedd

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

So what have you decided? Are you viewing houses?

We've viewed a house and found one we'd like to put on offer in on.....

Nothing is signed though and I'm getting nervous about the decision....

It's so hard to know what is best for our babies.... life in rat race, or life off the beaten track.

Jox

You can always move again in a few years if you need to!

onomatopoeia99

iksbedd wrote: »

We've viewed a house and found one we'd like to put on offer in on.....

Nothing is signed though and I'm getting nervous about the decision....

It's so hard to know what is best for our babies.... life in rat race, or life off the beaten track.

They might enjoy the proximity of nature / wild animals as infants, but when they get to be teenagers become frustrated with the isolation and the fact they have zero independence as they are entirely dependent on you to get to / from places and friends, then later weekend / evening jobs for a bit of their own money around school might be a problem as well.

Also, check the broadband situation on any house you intend to view. Even today people don't, then get upset when they can't work from home because the connectivity isn't up to it, or their kids can't all stream individual episodes of peppa pig in UHD on their personal iThings simultaneously.