School v countryside

Savvy_Sue

suki1964 wrote: »

Not all of us, I moved to deepest darkest countryside

I guess I meant more that when you've lived in a city, you usually identify with a part of it - a suburb - more than all of it. So I'm a Londoner, yes, but I'm from Sarf London - north of the river is a foreign country ...

It's the same here. There are parts of this city built in the last 100 years, where the descendants of the family who moved in initially is still there. And the parents, cousins and assorted other rellies are still within walking distance.

So to anyone outside the city, I can say "I live in X". But to someone who lives here, I'd have to say "I live in Y, it's near Z, you go up THAT road and turn off at this point."

pickledonionspaceraider

iksbedd wrote: »

Thank you.

To be honest, where we are now, they don't have that many friends within walking distance as they don't go to the catchment school and the area, even though it is a village, is quite busy - A road running through it and we wouldn't feel it's safe for them to venture far here either.

The area we're looking at has walks to the beach, walks into the hills from the house, play park within walking distance, local village hall with activities, pub and local shop and I feel the freedom they'd have in the new village would be more than they have now.

The new house we're looking for will have a large outdoor space (something we don't have now either).

We already drive them to activities - swimming, brownies, rugby and we have to drive to collect them from after school clubs too (granted, 2 miles away rather than 4 - but can guarantee the traffic here makes it take 3 times longer)..

I don't want to ruin their lives; this is something that is meant to make it better for them - make them happier and less money/finance driven.

It does sound like you have already made up your mind.

People are talking about struggling for local services, but there are things like online shopping and online banking

Like someone mentioned earlier, it might be worth while spending a week there to see what it is really like - maybe an air bnb or something? In the bleakest winter when there is snow on the ground - then you are making an informed choice - see how the kids react etc

You know what though, I totally agree with you. City living really not living the dream, at all. There has got to be a better way, and I admire you in trying to look for it

In the City, life passes you by in a blur of overcrowding, traffic jams and work.

Everything is mega rushed and people are struggling with mental health issues hugely as a result - even kids

It is just not living it is existing

Everyone must have noticed how quiet the roads become when the kids are off school......people daren't even let their kids walk to school any more (I know some do it for convenience, ie drop kids off on the way to work - but not everyone) people feel it is not safe -and it isn't.

All kids are learning is how to burn themselves out in front of screens - we don't stop to look around

I walk to the shop myself at 7pm and I feel unsafe walking past the people hanging round.

So so many stabbings. You never know who is carrying a knife or weapon. You never know who you are rubbing shoulders with

People hold their children's hands tighter, buy alarms, clutch on to their handbags tighter, scared to let them go out to play. Kids are stuck to screens for 'safety' but it is ruining them. Social skills are demising and mental health issues increasing

I have lived in the same large City all my life. As a child, I used to walk with my siblings to school from age 5, we would go out to play. We would pop to the shops for our parents. You don't see that now do you, a seven year old popping to the shops for a box of washing powder...Well I don't

It sounds like I am about 90 years old when I talk like that, but Im far from it

Nowadays you don't see kids playing out or doing anything.

I remember as a younger adult, going into the City Centre of an evening and it always felt pretty safe, other than the odd drunk fight ...but now the City Centre at night is a ghost town.

Overcrowded schools, overcrowded roads, overcrowded doctors surgeries. People using cars more and more because it is safer than walking.

Most people here - either know someone, or have been at the receiving end of a violent attack. It is so common and the police spend more time trying to convince people to not press charges, than they do catching crooks - so the crooks know they have pretty much got a free for all

I don't honestly think I would chose to have Children now - and if I did, I certainly would not want to live in a City.

People are saying there are no facilities in the Country - there are no facilities in the city either - well not ones that you can get access to because it is is overcrowded sesspool

The infrastructures were not built to handle so many people and it is resulting in some dark dark Cities

flanker6

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

It does sound like you have already made up your mind.

People are talking about struggling for local services, but there are things like online shopping and online banking

Like someone mentioned earlier, it might be worth while spending a week there to see what it is really like - maybe an air bnb or something? In the bleakest winter when there is snow on the ground - then you are making an informed choice - see how the kids react etc

You know what though, I totally agree with you. City living really not living the dream, at all. There has got to be a better way, and I admire you in trying to look for it

In the City, life passes you by in a blur of overcrowding, traffic jams and work.

Everything is mega rushed and people are struggling with mental health issues hugely as a result - even kids

It is just not living it is existing

Everyone must have noticed how quiet the roads become when the kids are off school......people daren't even let their kids walk to school any more (I know some do it for convenience, ie drop kids off on the way to work - but not everyone) people feel it is not safe -and it isn't.

All kids are learning is how to burn themselves out in front of screens - we don't stop to look around

I walk to the shop myself at 7pm and I feel unsafe walking past the people hanging round.

So so many stabbings. You never know who is carrying a knife or weapon. You never know who you are rubbing shoulders with

People hold their children's hands tighter, buy alarms, clutch on to their handbags tighter, scared to let them go out to play. Kids are stuck to screens for 'safety' but it is ruining them. Social skills are demising and mental health issues increasing

I have lived in the same large City all my life. As a child, I used to walk with my siblings to school from age 5, we would go out to play. We would pop to the shops for our parents. You don't see that now do you, a seven year old popping to the shops for a box of washing powder...Well I don't

It sounds like I am about 90 years old when I talk like that, but Im far from it

Nowadays you don't see kids playing out or doing anything.

I remember as a younger adult, going into the City Centre of an evening and it always felt pretty safe, other than the odd drunk fight ...but now the City Centre at night is a ghost town.

Overcrowded schools, overcrowded roads, overcrowded doctors surgeries. People using cars more and more because it is safer than walking.

Most people here - either know someone, or have been at the receiving end of a violent attack. It is so common and the police spend more time trying to convince people to not press charges, than they do catching crooks - so the crooks know they have pretty much got a free for all

I don't honestly think I would chose to have Children now - and if I did, I certainly would not want to live in a City.

People are saying there are no facilities in the Country - there are no facilities in the city either - well not ones that you can get access to because it is is overcrowded

The infrastructures were not built to handle so many people and it is resulting in some dark dark Cities

Depressingly, I agree with much of what you say. It's been an insidious decline and doesn't look like reversing!

pickledonionspaceraider

flanker6 wrote: »

Depressingly, I agree with much of what you say. It's been an insidious decline and doesn't look like reversing!

I cannot believe what a ramble my post turned into :rotfl:

Once I started I could not stop

meer53

iksbedd wrote: »

Would you move your kids to a more rural, coastal area where the secondary school is slightly below average, from built up suburbia where secondary schools are just above average?

Would the freedom and clean air offset the slightly worse school setting or am I living in a dream world thinking we'd be improving their lives moving from Surrey to North Devon?

(They are 8 and 5)

Schools change a lot, thinking about Secondary schools now when you're kids are 8 and 5 is a bit early. My son went to a great Grammar School, my Daughter went to the local High School, different kids with different needs as far as education goes, one school may not suit both of your children. I wouldn't base a house move on schools alone. When kids are at Secondary School, they aren't really interested in how clean the air is, just that they're near their friends and that it doesn't take 2 buses and a long walk to get there if Mums or Dads Taxi isn't available.

iksbedd

meer53 wrote: »

Schools change a lot, thinking about Secondary schools now when you're kids are 8 and 5 is a bit early. My son went to a great Grammar School, my Daughter went to the local High School, different kids with different needs as far as education goes, one school may not suit both of your children. I wouldn't base a house move on schools alone. When kids are at Secondary School, they aren't really interested in how clean the air is, just that they're near their friends and that it doesn't take 2 buses and a long walk to get there if Mums or Dads Taxi isn't available.

My kids adore being outside; they adore nature and animals and are "eco-kids" - they have a real desire to "save the world".

The climate emergency isn't going to go away and so I feel a move towards the great outdoors is on the cards and I'd hope that they'd still care about this when at secondary school.

But I also acknowledge that peer pressure is a great thing at secondary school too.

goodwithsaving

iksbedd wrote: »

Thank you for your responses – lots of food for thought.

The area we’re looking at in not that remote that we’ll be stranded – it’s 4 miles from the nearest town and secondary school, and 10 miles from the nearest big town (Barnstaple). Exeter will be around an hour away. The primary school is 4 miles away from our desired location too (there is a more local one in the village so there are kids around).

There are buses to the nearest town and I have accepted that I will need to taxi more – although where we are now in Suburbia, buses and trains aren’t that great.

I accept the point about job opportunities, as teenagers there should be ample seasonal jobs around but part of me expects them to move away for jobs anyway when they are older – that’s what people do now. I feel there will be more desire for them to return to us if they adore where they grew up and have happy childhood memories somewhere special rather than a bog-standard, average up-bringing which is the same as everyone else…. We’re trying to move away from money/financial success being the main driver, instead focusing on happiness and being part of the community.

Barnstaple isn't a big town. I appreciate you have made up your mind it seems but 10 miles is a long way in summer traffic and Exeter is truly a pain to get to. Even Bideford is a pain to get to. The North Devon link road is awful in the summer with accidents not overly rare, and not fun in winter.

Don't get me wrong, it's wonderful to be in for a week or two, but living there is different.
Why not Okehampton way, or somewhere nearer Exeter or Taunton, or places in the Blackdown Hills? There are many lovely villages with easier access - don't assume it'll be happier and don't push teenagerhood into the back of your minds, it's hard living in the middle of nowhere when you are 12-18 if there is no transport and school friends live miles away.


It's actually really hard growing up there, having to move away and being unable to return due to lack of jobs.

svain

No brainer - Head for the country, better air, safer, free'er ... whats not to love - It takes a little adjustment, better day to day planning at times, but the benefits far outweigh the negatives. Children adapt and might even thank-you for it. Of course take the children into account but their needs should not eclipse your own. You get one life, live it now

Jox

It does sound idyllic, moving to the countryside or seaside while the kids are young, it appeals to me too. I've almost always lived in north London but it's a green borough with parks and forests to explore though there are plenty of busy polluted roads around and many scary stories of anti social behaviour close by.

I would get more for my money further afield and a bigger garden for example which is a dream though I've barely used my garden since September as it's been raining so much.

We're near to schools, parks, shops, cinema, all a walk or bus ride away, bus is only £1.50 and runs regularly. The train or tube to central London is nearby for trips to museums and galleries.

I encourage my son to go out with me all weekend and do after school clubs mainly to keep his face out of the screen, it is addictive and a virtual babysitter, and he's an only child so misses having another child to play with when he's not at school.

It's a good idea to spend some time in the location you are thinking of and yes the kids will grow very quickly and have different needs and priorities in a few years.

Prinzessilein

I moved around a LOT in my childhood.

Rural locations were idyllic in one way...great for foraging at the weekends!...but this needs to be offset by the HUGE disadvantage of travel, even the Primary School meant a long bus journey, Secondary Schools meant getting so late back home that there was barely enough time for homework.

These days, I no longer work and have moved to the coast...beautiful beach...quiet (ish) but it DOES get a bit packed and noisy over the summer(darned tourists coming to MY beach!!!......although they are vital to the failing economy here!)...I don't have children, but if I DID, then this would be far from the top of my list- mainly due to the dire choice of schools....yes, I am an e-teacher, so may be biased, but I would put decent schools near the top of my list, a poor education is hard to 'make up for' in later years.