Family inheritance problem

chesky

I have a problem which I'd like to hear other peoples' views on but which I can't discuss with friends. Sorry it's so long.

I have two daughters who I love dearly. The eldest has twin daughters from a previous relationship, the younger has one daughter (I know, a heavily female family).

Because both daughters have pretty settled lives - both have good jobs and own their houses with fairly small mortgages, thanks to an inheritance - I decided to leave in my will everything equally to all five - daughters and granddaughters alike, as my grandchildren don't stand much chance of ever owning their own homes without some assistance. They would then have at least a deposit unless - god forbid - I have to sell my house and use all my savings for care. Everyone seems happy with this decision.

Problem. Two years ago my eldest daughter married a divorced man with four sons from his previous marriage. She owned her house and he moved in; she is also the main breadwinner. Only one of the four sons keeps in touch with him.

I have now heard that she has made a will. Not only does she leave her husband the right to remain in the house during his lifetime, which I fully understand and agree with, but she has divided her estate equally between not only her husband and daughters but also his four sons, two of which have not spoken to him for at least five years.

I think this is unfair on her daughters since they will have only one-seventh of the estate instead of a quarter (I include the son who keeps in touch).

It won't be a massive estate, mostly the house which wouldn't be sold then anyway since her husband would be living there, plus small savings.

I am hurt on behalf of my granddaughters and I'm so angry that I'm pondering whether to make alterations to my own will. I've only just heard about this - and she doesn't know I know - and I realise I may yet learn to live with her decision so wouldn't do anything rashly. But I wanted to know what others think about her reasoning.

Scorpio33

Its her money to do as she sees fit.

You can't dictate to her what she does with it. She could inherit it and then spend if all on herself.

charlie792

I suppose my question would be where have you heard this from? if not your daughter than has someone actually just guessed this?

As above she can do what she likes with her money, but I suppose of you feel strongly about it then you could amend your will that your daughter's share is adjusted and split between then equally between the two granddaughters

Sea_Shell

No one ever knows what order things will happen in, we can only assume but plan for all eventualities.

If you don't want your Son In Law or his children to ever have the chance to inherit "your" money...then don't leave your daughter anything.

You can't control your money from beyond the grave.

chesky

The cousins talk amongst themselves and I heard it from my younger daughter whose daughter had heard it from her cousin.

I wouldn't mind if she spent all she was left on herself, as you say you can't control it from beyond the grave. It just disappoints me that she values two or three boys she's never met equal to her daughters. The boys live with their own mother who owns their own family home outright after the divorce.

Sea_Shell

Family so often disappoint with their choices...

unforeseen

Not a lot you can do about the daughter's will but what you can do if you so wish is to change your will to skip a generation.

Leave your estate split equally between YOUR 3 grandchildren. You say your daughters own their own home, have good jobs and appear to be in a good position. Leave it all to the 3 granddaughters.

chesky

Sea_Shell wrote: »

If you don't want your Son In Law or his children to ever have the chance to inherit "your" money...then don't leave your daughter anything.

You can't control your money from beyond the grave.

I don't think you read properly - I don't have any problem with her husband or the son who keeps in touch, just the three who haven't.

Sea_Shell

chesky wrote: »

I don't think you read properly - I don't have any problem with her husband or the son who keeps in touch, just the three who haven't.

But who's to say that those relationships won't change over the years, either while you're still here or not!

Mojisola

chesky wrote: »

I don't think you read properly - I don't have any problem with her husband or the son who keeps in touch, just the three who haven't.

unforeseen wrote: »

Leave your estate split equally between YOUR 3 grandchildren.

You can't dictate what your daughter does with her money.

If you don't want some of your money to end up with the non-contact step-sons, then follow unforeseen's advice.

Silvertabby

It's possible that this a 'mirror will' - ie, husband and wife make identical Wills in the event that they go over the cliff together. Husband may have insisted that his sons be treated equally.

In the case of mirror wills, the survivor usually then makes their own Will in accordance with their own wishes.