Family inheritance problem

theoretica

Your daughter appears to take seriously the idea that all 'her' assets are now shared marital assets, hers and her husbands, and planned accordingly. I think the situation would be much worse if she hadn't made a will!



If she and new husband hadn't made wills if she died first pretty much everything would go to husband and then to his children when he dies. If he died first and they were both intestate everything would go to her children. This way seems better and fairer than leaving it to chance and not making wills.

chesky

Just to be clear, I'm not talking about small children - the two eldest have finished university and never even thanked him when he sent them presents - I think he's given up sending them now.

Marvel1

You done your own will the way you want it.

She has done the same for hers.

I don't see the problem, it's got nothing to do with you of what she is doing in hers!

TBagpuss

As others have said, this is ultimately her choice. It sounds as though she and her husband have likely agreed between themselves what they want to do, and it is worth bearing in mind that this may benefit your granddaughters, too. Presumably it means that they are likely to benefit from any inheritances or other assets their step-dad may get.

And it does suggest that your daughter and her husband have chosen to treat their children as one family not two, which is their choice to make.

It might help you to reflect that your own choices could also be seen as unfair - after all, your decision means that in the end, 3/5 of your estate will go to one daughter and her children and only 2/5 to the other and her child. Or to look at it another way, if you assumed that each daughter would, in time, leave their share to their own children, then one grandchild will end up with 2/5 (40%) of your total estate, the other two would have ended up with 30% each.
This doesn't man that what you have decided to do is unfair, or inappropriate, but it might be relevant in thinking about how you feel about your daughter's choices.

And over time, she may revise those choices. She and her husband may revisit their wills, she might make choices based on what her daughters and step-sons do in future, and whether she has grandchildren - there are all sorts of unknowns.

If you don't like the idea of part of your estate potentially going to your step-grandsons, or to those of them who are not currently in close contact with their father, then you are free to leave the share of your estate which would have gone to your daughter , directly to her children.

flanker6

You're hearing the information about her will "third hand."


Maybe a calm chat with your daughter to find out the actual facts before you consider any future actions?
This needn't be judgemental and you may find that you haven't been given an accurate portrayal of the situation.
Or, you may find more empathy with her cholices after you chat with her.

paddyz

She has the right to leave anyone whatever she wishes and it’s of no concern to you, it’s personal choice

You had already stated you wanted to leave everything fairly divided to each of your family

Isn’t she doing that too? It’s nice to see she wants to be fair and equal to all that are part of her family, she might not keep her will the same in the future, but right now she is doing what she thinks is right.

As mentioned before if you really want to have your money left to grandchildren then just leave it to them, but you can’t dictate what it gets spent on or who it will be left to after they have gone

I think I’d be more dismayed about who actually gave you this info and why

Ms_Chocaholic

To throw a spanner in the works - is it unfair on the granddaughter who is an only child that your inheritance is shared three ways - should it be split 2 ways and half of the half be split between the sibling granddaughters.

If you had planned to leave your inheritance to your daughters then they each would receive 50/50. If that then passed straight down to your granddaughters then the only child grandchild would receive 50% and not 33.3%

chesky

My granddaughters are adults in their own right - aged 19, 20 and 25 - they're individuals, not just my daughters' daughters. I try to treat them equally as individuals.

diggingdude

do you have some stately home, land with a title etc? If not you are really overthinking this and to be honest sticking your nose in where it doesn't belong

FBaby

The problem is you are building too many beliefs from what is essentially gossip. You've heard about her will from Chinese wispers, it might not even be true. Then you are making a lot of assumption about her partner and his sons. You don't know why some of his sons are not talking to him. Maybe he did things that contributed to their decision and he wants to make amends by treating them all the same.


You also don't know what capital he might have. Maybe he has a massive home with his ex that he is entitled to half. Or maybe he had a huge inheritance himself.

You have to trust your daughter. If she genuinely agreed that her capital could be left to her step-sons she hardly knows, there must be a good reason.