Buffy takes it 6 months at a time

Buffythedebtslayer

I have done the bathroom
Mum is being her normal passive aggressive self. I must deal with it better and not repeat this behaviour. 
Any suggestions? 

in_need_of_direction

If I knew what to do with a passive aggressive and in my case, highly critical mother, I’d have done it years ago.  Best advice I was given was that she’s not gonna change so I just have to accept that and work round it.

Sun_Addict

Sorry to hear your mum is playing up.  Can you try and avoid her, put your headphones on or read in a different room?  That's what I do with Mr SA, I leave him in the living room watching TV while I do things in the dining room or kitchen.  You mentioned you're not doing anything practical but you're doing a lot by helping your sister and looking after your mum. You've got enough on your plate as it is without thinking about taking anything else on. I hope your cousin's hubby recovers quickly.

Take care xx

Buffythedebtslayer

in_need_of_direction said:

If I knew what to do with a passive aggressive and in my case, highly critical mother, I’d have done it years ago.  Best advice I was given was that she’s not gonna change so I just have to accept that and work round it.

I literally said exactly that to one of my friends the other day. I have been doing quite well but this morning and what got me this morning  is utterly pathetic but she knows obviously better than anyone what would annoy me. 
I think I shall just keep out of her way. 
XXX

Buffythedebtslayer

Sun_Addict said:

Sorry to hear your mum is playing up.  Can you try and avoid her, put your headphones on or read in a different room?  That's what I do with Mr SA, I leave him in the living room watching TV while I do things in the dining room or kitchen.  You mentioned you're not doing anything practical but you're doing a lot by helping your sister and looking after your mum. You've got enough on your plate as it is without thinking about taking anything else on. I hope your cousin's hubby recovers quickly.

Take care xx

I am going upstairs soon.........I just never twigged how much time I spent away from here! The first thing I do after hugging all my friends is spend a sodding weekend in a hotel. I don't care where! 

Hope Mr SA is not driving you bonkers XX 

beanielou

I dont know how you do it Buffster  xx

Buffythedebtslayer

beanielou said:

I dont know how you do it Buffster  xx

Sounds a bit poncy but in my better moments I try to remember that everyone is doing the best they can and we are all damaged - not intentionally by anyone but life is hard and the majority of her actions are motivated by love and to protect and I just have to make the best of it for now. And under normal circumstances I go away, see friends, have very small adventures and spent one hell of a lot of time at work. 
Of course today there weren't many better moments, just me keeping body and soul together which I did. Focused on the fact that I cleaned the bathroom and got rid of a bag of crap, walked the dogs.  And I once again have 1000 in my emergency fund. And I sorted Mum's car insurance.  

beanielou

Good news on the money in theEF & sorting out the 🚗 insurance. 

Buffythedebtslayer

Hello folks, 
Not much is happening here, I know you are shocked! 
I finished one piece of work............
It hasn't been a bad couple of days, not that I really remember the differences between the days. Felt good to be back "at Work" today - virtually at least. 
I am going to start on my room.............Will report back soon XX 

doingitanyway

Maybe C Buffy. Could you put some fairy lights up in there. They always cheer me. You have a lot on so maybe make it easy as you can for yourself for now. Take care