Buffy takes it 6 months at a time

Buffythedebtslayer

thanks CCL XX 
Today was a shambles. a really upsetting shambles. The coroner passed a verdict on my friend's death, all the time the police have been preparing, saying, explaining that it was suicide. But the Coroner says no, they say pneumonia. I felt, well I don't know what I felt. I hadn't directly said the word suicide to many of her friends, there is a core of us who have tried to her help and continue to do so - everyone wanted to know what was going on and I told them.  I repeated what the police had said. In all likelihood she took her own life. 
So then I had to tell people that the coroner thought not, no one was angry or anything in fact my friends were incredibly kind and supportive. incredibly so. I think I just feel bad always round cos I have only tried to do the right thing but it was wrong, in hindsight i should have kept the police observations to myself? I don't know. I understand 100 percent why they said what they said. And it make sense to me. 
Any how a side bar to that is that I don't fully believe it. Not yet. probably in time. But not quite yet. 
and I have been wrecked all day. I set loads of school work, that is quite therapeutic and made lunch and dinner. walked the dogs for about five minutes but being outside was too much.  so I came home. 
I have to go out shopping tomorrow. Not massively looking forward it. But equally some normality would be good...if queuing to get into a supermarket is normal 

beanielou

I really dont know how these things work buffster  xxx

badmemory

How can it be wrong to prepare friends for what was expected to happen?  Surely it must be a huge relief to all that it wasn't suicide?

Buffythedebtslayer

badmemory said:

How can it be wrong to prepare friends for what was expected to happen?  Surely it must be a huge relief to all that it wasn't suicide?

I suppose. And as one friend said yesterday, there isn't a hand book for this. I did what I could at the time with the information I was given by people in charge of it all. 

Buffythedebtslayer

Right so today is Mum's birthday. I am going out shopping eeeek! I have hand gel, need to get to the pet shop as well. Got to get dressed and make breakfast. Then shopping. 
Must buy wrapping paper and cream cheese if they have any...........See you all later XX 

Sun_Addict

Well the coroner's verdict must have come as a surprise.  I wonder what happened to her, it's so sad, doesn't bear thinking about. 

I suppose your sister is confined to the house now because of her husband's condition.  I bet she's so fed up.

I hope you get what you want from the shops.  I think I might have to venture out again tomorrow, there are a few bits I need.  You should be ok if you time it right, I've heard early afternoon is a good time to go.

Buffythedebtslayer

My Sister. I don't quite know how she is coping or even if she is coping. Can't go and see her now apart from to leave things at the door. 
made breakfast and now just finishing my tea. 
Massive Yawn. 
need to empty the dishwasher and clear up. 

Buffythedebtslayer

I am so tired. But I managed shopping (scary and weird) and the chemist (scary and sort of badly organised - tho I could see their method) 
I did sit in the car park and have a little cry. Thought about a lot of things. Felt a bit better. Must check the bank before I go to bed. 
XX 

crazy_cat_lady

Just wanted to send you a load of love Buffy

Buffythedebtslayer

Thank you CCL XXX you too XXX
Went to work today and it was really lovely, It was great to see the staff and we didn't have many kids - 4 was the most but some went home at change of shift etc. 
I was really quite happy as I am not on the rota over the holidays, they are making concessions for me cos I live with mum. I came home and stripped and showered and put my clothes in the wash. that is the bit that freaks me out. I hope i did enough. 
I never did look at the bank yesterday.......oops!