Crazy Cat Lady Chapter 4 - The Aftermath

crazy_cat_lady

It never usually works to my advantage BB - I normally think it's Wednesday at work when in actual fact it is only Tuesday. Not often I get an extra day of relaxation.
Thought I'd get a great night of sleep last night - I felt shattered at bedtime but then lay awake for hours and just couldn't get to sleep. Last time I checked the time it was after 1am. Suspected I would sleep until 9am but was wide awake just before 6am. Decided to get up and get stuff done before I had a chance to feel tired and go back to sleep again. I had a parcel to drop off at a locker outside Mr M (returning more shoes that don't fit ds who has definitely gone into man size everything at the age of 12) and decided I would do that before it got a chance to get busy with people ignoring the fact that we're in lockdown again. Drove about 2 minutes down the road and it started snowing quite heavily... was a bit of a faff but got the parcel into the locker (fingers crossed for a refund on that) and then drove home. It was only 7.30 when I got home, and still snowing, and I thought I would go for a bit of a walk as I reckoned that is part of the reason I can't sleep well at night. So walked in the snow for about 40 minutes, as it got light. It was very peaceful and quiet outside. Wish I could say I did lots of thinking and planning, but I genuinely just appreciated being out and about without feeling stressed out or seeing other people.
So two jobs done and ticked off the list before 8.30. Made myself a cuppa and decided to keep going by getting the exam work done in preparation for the meeting tomorrow afternoon. How motivated eh? It's done, and I'm good to spend the rest of my day with my feet up, hopefully getting this blanket finished. Also hoping that the kids can avoid a day of arguing with each other as that seems to be getting all too frequent. I'm actually considering bringing one of them into work with me next week, just to keep them away from each other.
Have a good day everyone. Keep your fingers crossed that I can have another nsd and good health day.

crazy_cat_lady

Well. The blanket is still not finished. I am trying but just getting nowhere fast I have 4 rounds left to do. I would have gotten further I think except I fell asleep in front of the telly yesterday afternoon. The walk did the trick! I'm meant to be going out with my bestie today as I've not seen her for weeks but it is raining/snowing and she's a bit flaky for a walk when the weather isn't good. I'll give her until 11am and then if she hasn't contacted me I will go out on my own.
Won't say that I'm going to finish the blanket today as I have an exam meeting this afternoon which could potentially go on for hours. God knows what is going on there, or with the schools. This government are beyond ridiculous - the only certainty at the moment is that they are incompetent. I am stressed about my kids, I'm stressed about work, I'm stressed about whether the exams will go ahead this year or not and I can't do anything at all about any of it. Definitely in at work tomorrow but I seriously doubt I'll learn anything new.
Other than that, plans for today are:
meeting, crochet, walk, relax. 
Hopefully also a NSD.

badmemory

crazy_cat_lady said:

 God knows what is going on there, or with the schools. This government are beyond ridiculous - the only certainty at the moment is that they are incompetent. I am stressed about my kids, I'm stressed about work, I'm stressed about whether the exams will go ahead this year or not and I can't do anything at all about any of it. Definitely in at work tomorrow but I seriously doubt I'll learn anything new.

Surely the not being able to do anything about the incompetence is what is stressing you out.  If you were able to say alright this is what needs to happen so to achieve that we will do this, then it wouldn't stress you out.  I often feel at the moment that the supposed grown ups were throwing their toys out of the pram & leaving it to those without any power to put them back in again, whilst passing over all the blame for their (governmental) incompetence.  To put it in the vernacular, couldn't organise a booze up in a brewery.

crazy_cat_lady

You're right badmemory - it is the utter frustration of seeing everything going wrong, thinking that I could do a better job, and being able to do absolutely nothing about it - again. I feel tired and stressed and worn out and it's only the first day of term.
So I went into work and spent the whole day preparing online learning for my classes for the rest of the week. Nobody knows what is going on - we'll have to wait for Bojo with the bog brush hair to tell us in a couple of hours. The plan had been for me to go into school and record myself voicing over lessons and PowerPoints to supplement the work I'd set, leaving my 'angelic' children at home to do their own home learning. But I suspect now that is no longer going to be allowed and I'm in for a month or more of hell while we all fight over space, internet and peace and quiet 'working from home'.
I'm really, really tired - I slept awfully last night. Took me ages to get to sleep, and then I was rudely awoken by the sound of ds slamming his Xbox around and shouting at 2am. So that very quickly descended into a massive argument that I couldn't be bothered with, followed by him huffing and me not able to get to sleep again. Took until about half three - then I woke up briefly at half five and decided to pop an extra 45 minutes onto my alarm in the feeble hope of a bit of extra rest which I managed thankfully. DS had fallen asleep on the sofa watching a film so I made a point of being a bit noisy in the kitchen but he didn't wake up.
I'm very tired tonight but I have some exam stuff to do, so no rest for the wicked unfortunately. Just need to pull myself round, with and see what the ******* says at 8 and then plan from there.
I did a click and collect grocery shop today, so not a nsd. I need to update my budget and make sure that everything is written down otherwise I'll wreck January before it's really gotten going.
So small things for tonight - 
watch the fool address the nation
update budget
finish half a round of crochet that will finish the blanket.
at least half an hour of exam marking
get an early night - this means getting into bed by half nine at the latest so I can wind down and relax, and hopefully sleep well.
That's a lot for three hours mind. I'm not hopeful...

crazy_cat_lady

Well.....
Not sure I have many other words for how I'm feeling. I really didn't think we'd be starting 2021 in a situation worse than March 2020 but here we are. Thanks Boris for your government's incompetence and your billion U turns.
On the plus side... I got to lie in for an extra hour this morning before work, and dd was completely self motivated and needed nothing at all from me. Plus I've gotten back on my diet, and bagged another nsd. Only because I'm too busy to think about food or spending but I'll take those small victories.
Started work by 8, once I was dressed and had gotten myself a cuppa. Recorded all 5 of today's lessons, struggled to get them uploaded, watched various online learning platforms fall over because of the number of people trying to access them, answered emails, looked at work coming in etc. Got the vast majority of it done by half twelve, so had a bite to eat then started bullying ds to get started on with his work. That is the hardest thing of all, the lazy so and so.
I had a shake, he had a chicken burger, dd fended for herself and attended all of her online lessons like the star that she is. Then I forced ds to make a plan with me. We spent about an hour doing his entire week of maths work. Thankfully he is quite good at maths so it was a fairly easy win. We also came up with a plan of attack for the rest of the week and then went for a walk together to tick his PE box. Got home and he emailed his teacher to ask a question about yesterday and overall we've ticked off 7 lesson boxes (aiming for 6 a day).
Then I got back to work and recorded all of tomorrow's lessons. Checked through work submissions and marked what I had (not much). I want to be a day ahead, so I can spend tomorrow getting Thursday's lesson's sorted etc. Just about to have my dinner then I have some mock exam marking to do.
I'm quite pleased with how much I've gotten done today but it's not sustainable long term. I can't manage everything I need to at the moment but hopefully it will settle in time and once I get used to it. It's after 4pm and I still have lots to do unfortunately but needs must. Thank god dd doesn't need nagging like her brother does. And I'm chuffed to bits we got a walk in even though it was freezing and raining while we were out.
Oh, and the gas man still turned up to do the boiler service. Happy days, although I am still freezing downstairs - I just don't have enough radiators. Time for big blankets...

crazy_cat_lady

Oh definitely not sustainable. I am shattered...
Got up and was working by half seven yesterday morning. Managed to get through everything I needed for school by 1pm and then spent three hours arguing with ds and getting done what should have taken less than an hour. It was awful - he is so lazy and unmotivated and it is such hard work to get anything out of him. It's like doing a whole extra job being his teacher. I then had another meeting online for school after that, and then I dragged myself out for a walk to try and clear my head. 
OK, I don't have the defrosting of the car and the commute to and from school - but I am definitely working harder than ever and this needs to get easier quite soon or I will burn out. I have even debated using my key worker status and sending ds into school - but I don't think he'll get along any better there. He needs the structure of being in the classroom and having lessons delivered to him, which won't be happening in the building either.
I was in bed and asleep by 11pm yesterday, which was another good diet day and another nsd. But I have not wanted to get up and work today at all. I feel worn out and run down and quite unmotivated myself. Thankfully all of today's work is online for my students but I really want to get tomorrow's done as well.
So today's plans - another nsd, another walk (even if it's pitch black), my work, ds work and a senior examiner meeting at 4pm. Obviously everything is now up in the air for poor Y11 and 13 again this year, and I'm interested to find out what the heck is going on (but also devastated to lose another year of exam marking work). There's a noticeable lift in dd's mood since the exam cancellation - she's been amazing with keeping up and doing her work over the past 2 years so I think she's going to be ok and her grades will reflect that. 
Right, I'd best get on then...
Have a good day all and stay safe.

Tiggger

crazy_cat_lady said:

Oh definitely not sustainable. I am shattered...

OK, I don't have the defrosting of the car and the commute to and from school - but I am definitely working harder than ever and this needs to get easier quite soon or I will burn out. I have even debated using my key worker status and sending ds into school - but I don't think he'll get along any better there. He needs the structure of being in the classroom and having lessons delivered to him, which won't be happening in the building either.

Sending DS into school could be a very good plan, a) he’d have to get up and go in on your timescales if you drop him off and b) it would be someone else ‘nagging’ him to complete work so it would be less stressful for you. Why not try it and see? If he resents doing it explain why you’ve done it - you don’t have the energy for a battle every day to complete work so he has to go to school.  Please look after yourself, this change could help alleviate some of your stress. Take care.

foxgloves

CCL... skyped my sis today. My nephew (12) was sitting at the table getting on with his schoolwork, though he did pop up to tell me it was about the science of the seasons & it was boring. I think what is working for him is the thought that he'd normally be at school all day, but that if he gets up at his normal time, starts his schoolwork straight after breakfast & really zips on with it, he will have the whole afternoon free to do his own thing. And as the Nintendo isn't allowed to make any sort of appearance until then plus the TV is off, this is a contract between him & my sister (teacher) which seems to be working. Oh, he did insist on a 15 min break for a hot chocolate every day, which sounds v reasonable to me!
F x

Honeysucklelou2

I do sympathise CCL - I didn’t even get to DS3’s work until 4.30 yesterday. Thankfully he now has a keyworker place while I’m at work. It seems to be like lesson tennis, you send out the work and then try to respond to everything as quickly as possible when it comes in and try to do live online lessons inbetween. There is no way I can do what is expected and  have my children at home with me , so I go   into school,  3 of mine have keyworker places and DS2 has been told that if he doesn’t crack on at home, I’ll have to apply for a place for him too. He’s Y11 so should be capable of logging in and getting some work done. DD3 will crack on without me saying a single word.

Well done for getting your walks in - walks in the dark are better than no walks at all!

Thinking of you and hope tomorrow works out well.

Buffythedebtslayer

Send him to school! You are a key worker and you are still at work. Hopefully his school is like mine and runs a class room for the students, not like the last time when we had Joe Wickes and quizzes! 
Please take care of yourself, I marked my mocks today (that was depressing but moving on!) and so am behind but am DETERMINED to stop working soon. And go for the miracle walk. 
Lots of Love, Buffy X