2020: Becoming a Saver, Not a Spender

[Deleted User]

beanielou said:

Keep plodding 😊

Had to really force myself to dash to the post office to return the frames from my home trial, which I'm probably going to be charged for as they are late back, but my head really hasn't been in the game for the past week or two so that's something I just need to suck up. I emailed and apologise, sort of explained, and gave them their tracking number. My heart was pounding even at the thought of walking through the town centre to get to the post office, I really hate it when it's like this, but I took a detour to avoid most of the busy places and it's all done now.

YNAB isn't balancing perfectly as I had some unplanned spends at the weekend that went slightly over my unplanned spends budget as I forgot about the prescription I had picked up, but it was all still done mindfully, I just had the wrong budget in my head it's only £10 or so out, I'll be able to shuffle that around when I need to.

This week is all about getting myself back into a proper routine, with a good balance of self-care and keeping on top of day-to-day things. I think if I can try and carve out 30 minutes "me time" and 30 minutes of top-up tidying per day, then that should keep things ticking over nicely, even if the "me time" is just listening to something relaxing in the car in the morning, or on the way home.

I do think on some level I have some kind of fear of letting people down or disappointing people all the time. I remember one Christmas in my old job I had been supposed to get a train over to my parent's house when I finished work (at night) and because cashing up at work ran over, I missed the train. I recall everyone moaning at me and getting annoyed I'd missed the train, and I couldn't fathom what I was supposed to have done differently as I obviously couldn't leave work before I was finished, and I got so worked up and stressed trying to work out how I'd done something wrong. That's what life feels like about minor decisions, sometimes, I have to look around and see what choice will make the most people happy, and it's normally not me that's factored in higher up!

savingholmes

Glad that you have been to the GP and told your OH. At least this way he can give you some support. I can relate to feeling random anxiety over things others find easy.

FootyFanDan

Hey, 

Really sorry to read that it seems to have been a tough few weeks for you ... I kinda relate to this feeling of always thinking that you have to do things to please others rather than what you truly want to do, mine is mainly family stuff where i end up having to sacrifice something and they wouldn't be prepared to make any near the effort i make, ive kinda learned to live with it but it frustrates the hell out of me that they don't wanna make any effort.

Whilst the money stuff and other things are there and need sorting, you are the most important thing right now! You need to find some way to get that you time you need, whether that be a nice relaxed bath / reading with wine (if thats ur thing haha) - some self care. Its good that the OH is there and knows how you are feeling so he can offer some support there too. Sometimes we let life get so rushed and busy but we control our diaries right....maybe you should (for once it would seem) look out for you and put your needs into the diary.

If you need to vent /talk/ support then ya know the offer is there  

Take care of yourself x 

[Deleted User]

It's comforting to know there are other people who experience the same! It's very frustrating the reactions you get from people who don't get it
 savingholmes said:

Glad that you have been to the GP and told your OH. At least this way he can give you some support. I can relate to feeling random anxiety over things others find easy.

That was such a lovely post, thank you  

FootyFanDan said:

Hey, 

Really sorry to read that it seems to have been a tough few weeks for you ... I kinda relate to this feeling of always thinking that you have to do things to please others rather than what you truly want to do, mine is mainly family stuff where i end up having to sacrifice something and they wouldn't be prepared to make any near the effort i make, ive kinda learned to live with it but it frustrates the hell out of me that they don't wanna make any effort.

Whilst the money stuff and other things are there and need sorting, you are the most important thing right now! You need to find some way to get that you time you need, whether that be a nice relaxed bath / reading with wine (if thats ur thing haha) - some self care. Its good that the OH is there and knows how you are feeling so he can offer some support there too. Sometimes we let life get so rushed and busy but we control our diaries right....maybe you should (for once it would seem) look out for you and put your needs into the diary.

If you need to vent /talk/ support then ya know the offer is there  

Take care of yourself x 

[Deleted User]

I feel a bit brighter this morning  

I have decided to just do the shred from the start again, I want to do it properly. I have brought my dumbbells to work and will do it here today and tomorrow, on Thursday I will do it when I get home as it's just me at home, and on Friday I will probably bring them to work again. Last night it was just nice to sit in front of the TV, and my glutes were still a bit sore from crouching/kneeling to paint the wooden planters

I had breakfast before starting work, and even managed to do my whole skincare routine this morning after my shower rather than just a quick splash of water whilst in the shower. When I get back from my friend's house tonight I plan to tint my eyebrows and do a quick face mask before bed. 

Today's lunch was from the cupboards at home as I didn't get anything with the weekly shop, so it's a tin of soup but should make today a no spend day

My second lot of wages should go in on Friday. I really must check when my next hair appointment is, I am kind of hoping for this Saturday for self-care reasons, but also as I have booked to give blood the following Saturday so would need to re-book that. Although, due to being O Neg I am apparently a "First Responder" and have people who can find or make appointments for me, so that's good to know.

I think I may have dodged the charge for the trial glasses frames, they emailed and just said as they can see they are on the way back they won't yet be applying the charge, so fingers crossed there.

Right - time to catch up on diaries (I ALWAYS read along guys, even if I don't post )

beanielou

Glad that you feel a bit brighter. 

Baby steps 😊💜

[Deleted User]

beanielou said:

Glad that you feel a bit brighter. 

Baby steps 😊💜

Thank you & definitely x

Poppy1984

Hi SSDD23 
Sorry to hear you have been having a rough time of it lately. I absolutely admire your resilience though, I love your self care plans and I really do think all of that makes the world of difference when it comes to mental health. 
Just wanted to drop you a little message to encourage you to keep going you're doing amazing!! 
Poppy  

[Deleted User]

Poppy1984 said:

Hi SSDD23 
Sorry to hear you have been having a rough time of it lately. I absolutely admire your resilience though, I love your self care plans and I really do think all of that makes the world of difference when it comes to mental health. 
Just wanted to drop you a little message to encourage you to keep going you're doing amazing!! 
Poppy  

Thank you @Poppy1984 that really made me smile x 

FootyFanDan

Glad to read you are feeling a little better