2020: Becoming a Saver, Not a Spender

[Deleted User]

Happy Thursday

2 things I definitely miss about the old forum:

• Having the opening post of a thread at the top of every page, so you can edit it and still see what's on the most recent page (very useful for challenge threads)
• My little waving guy that you used to be able to type :hello: and get 

However, those bullet points are useful  

I think I'm about 4/5 receipts away from being able to get £5 from Shoppix, and have £5.75 in PA but there's one waiting for me that's a second wave that I'm sure paid quickly last time, so I'm going to do that and cash out when that gets paid. Going to squirrel all these little bits away into my Xmas/Gifts pot, and let that build up as well as big payments into it when I can. The two biggest expenses will be OH's birthday (Sept) and then Christmas, just because he has expensive taste

We do also have a terramundi pot in the lounge but we have agreed to go for a weekend away in November with his siblings for Christmas shopping/general catching up without any kids so I think we'll use that for that, instead.

The YNAB now takes pride of place with my "most used" apps at the bottom of my phone homepage, I'm currently just sat waiting for any payments to clear so I can update it

Lots of work I can be getting on with today, think I can work pretty much through the whole day if I want to today, so going to catch up some diaries and then get cracking. X

savingholmes

Good progress and good to have something to look forward to as well. My DS comes home briefly at lunchtime. Getting excited now.

[Deleted User]

Well, I don't know how, but YNAB is making me not want to spend money! A very unusual feeling....

Got a bit down this morning as today will be the end day of Level 2 on my shred, go up to level 3 tomorrow, and my weight has not gone down at ALL. However, I'm trying to convince myself I might be going through a phase of losing fat and gaining muscle at the same time, and the actual weight loss will come later. 10 more days to go on this workout, and will be doing my second lot of measurements tomorrow morning. I do know,  however, that I am less jiggly and my legs in particular are a lot stronger, so I do know there is change, I just want to see it on the actual scales!!

I anticipate a few spends tomorrow night as we will either see my brother for his birthday or have a little bit of a date night, but I have enough spare in my current "Unbudgeted spends" pot to comfortably do that as long as it is cheap and cheerful!

We have the kiddos this evening, one of the points raised by OH was for us to try and gel more as a family unit, so I need to be more proactive, though if anyone has any tips for how to make a teenager and a wannabe teenage more interested in getting to know you than their phone, any tips would be grateful feels like talking to a brick wall(s) sometimes

I do need to shut myself in the kitchen for 25 minutes to get the shred done and dusted, but other than that I will try my best. It doesn't help I'm not really into the same tv shows and movies that they are, so I struggle. I'm sure we'll find a happy medium somewhere along the line, just a bit tricky with their ages, I guess. It's just the source of a lot of tension between OH and I, so I need to redouble my efforts, because I can see where he's coming from, just not how to sort it out.

I have already pointed out to my family that invitations should really start to extend to the four of us from now and not just to me, so that's a start which he appreciates  

beanielou

It's a really difficult one.
I wish you well.

[Deleted User]

beanielou said:

It's a really difficult one.
I wish you well.

The good news is that everyone was making a bit more of an effort last night, OH included, so there is hope  

I didn't get my shred done as they didn't get to bed on time, so I didn't get the private time in the kitchen to get it done, but will try and fit it in today, which actually works better as I will have some time home alone tomorrow when OH goes to fetch the kids to try the first day of level 3  

It's Friday, which means I woke up and immediately did my transfer to my VSP, don't really seem to miss the money going out and I actually wake up excited to send it over. 

Next month I'll be trialling a different way of doing our food shopping. I'll do one big online shop with whoever has the best offers at the time for all the stuff with long dates e.g. frozen food, sundries, crisps, etc, and then just head to Aldi to get the fresh stuff we need on a weekly basis. It just means I've got less stuff to lug backwards and forwards and can take advantage of offers more easily without worrying about the week-by-week budget. I just need to stash the "extra" junk food until the kids eat what is in the cupboards otherwise they (and OH) will eat a month's worth in a week  

Going to pick up my new glasses today, and also a different prescription from my GP as I wasn't really getting on with the stuff he prescribed me before, so trying a different one and then seeing how that goes  

savingholmes

We found that sometimes games can help with involving teens like 'dobble', 'pass the pigs', 'emoji' game etc. That way you are spending time together but in a less intense way. If you have a playstation or x box -- getting a fun multi player game like 'Crash bandicoot' or trivia games or dance or singing games can all be ways of having family fun. My kids are both into crafts - so  I sometimes use that too. I also do the equivalent of a 'date' night with my kids where I take them out for 1:1 time eg to shop, cafe, pub.... and they get to talk about whatever's bothering or exciting them - the change of location really helps. We used to enforce family movie night if we got a takeaway etc.... 

[Deleted User]

savingholmes said:

We found that sometimes games can help with involving teens like 'dobble', 'pass the pigs', 'emoji' game etc. That way you are spending time together but in a less intense way. If you have a playstation or x box -- getting a fun multi player game like 'Crash bandicoot' or trivia games or dance or singing games can all be ways of having family fun. My kids are both into crafts - so  I sometimes use that too. I also do the equivalent of a 'date' night with my kids where I take them out for 1:1 time eg to shop, cafe, pub.... and they get to talk about whatever's bothering or exciting them - the change of location really helps. We used to enforce family movie night if we got a takeaway etc.... 

Oh some great ideas there thank you yes the intensity is the issue with OH's ideas I think, his ideas are always for us to sit down and basically do a Q&A and everyone groans at the idea of that

savingholmes

Glad it helped. Let us know how you get on. Hope you have a more positive week.

[Deleted User]

Didn't manage to get on over the weekend, my anxiety/depression hit me full whack Friday afternoon out of nowhere and I had my first anxiety attack in years. Did make me glad I had spoken to the doctor to change my prescription. OH knows I am on this one, he didn't before.

Basically went home on Friday and shut myself in my room for most of the night just laying in bed, and did the same for as long as I could on Saturday, then just moved to the sofa until I felt I could face anything.

Invited the kids to help me paint the garden planters, one accepted for about 20 minutes then got bored and went back inside

Did the second coat yesterday, will need a third coat (possibly more paint) and to turn them upside down and paint the feet.

I feel a lot more myself today, still not 100%, but luckily OH has been at home to pick up the slack of the day to day things I couldn't bring myself to do, and did the food shop with me.

Not much else to report, haven't done my exercises at all so I am  just going to re-start level 2 and do the full 10 days again before moving on to level 3. I just need to plan ahead a bit better as to whether I will do it at work or at home to make sure it gets done. As lovely as it is having OH home in the evenings when he is off, it's much easier for me to sit and engage with him than shut myself in the kitchen and exercise.

We did catch up with my brothers briefly on Saturday night, but no drinking for me as I don't want to mix alcohol with my new prescription until I know how I react to it. Right, time to catch up on some work, and diaries. X

beanielou

Keep plodding 😊