Frump to Fab - A Whole New World.

Maisie_Moo

Wonderful news LL congratulations to all .

sheilavw

sorry to hear that your DIL had such a hard time LL, glad she's now off the high dependency

savingfortomorrow

LL It sounds like a horrible process but a good ending. Thankfully she has you to help look after the older lad and give her the time to recover. 

helensbiggestfan

The thing is I know what she went through because the exact same thing happened to me, step by step, the same catalogue of mistakes and bad decisions.  That was 36 years ago. You would think obstetrics would have improved in that time.  It's still far too much of a lottery.  

In my case I suffered from serious complications and had to have two reconstructive surgeries.  I just hope she doesn't suffer the same fate and that she heals well with no further repercussions.  

Tbh I am actually very angry. They were well aware that she had to have an emergency Caesarian last time and she was promised they would intervene in plenty of time, even if she did go into spontaneous labour prior to the elective date.  It was sheer incompetence and arrogance on the part of one of the midwives.  It simply shouldn't have happened, 

On a happier note I have loved looking after my grandson, so many cuddles and kisses.  Theres nothing quite like having a sleepy toddler snuggling up to you .......that lovely baby smell.  

If perfumers could bottle that smell they would make an absolute killing.  😂

sashybo

Congratulations on your new grandson LL.

Sorry to hear how badly things went wrong for your DIL, she will be shell-shocked no doubt and will take a good while to recover. I'm glad you understand what she's been through and are able to help her and your son with the kids.

It really seems to just be your luck if you end up with good midwives and doctors - once they start the interventions it generally seems to snowball and they don't always listen. I was so wiped out for weeks after a long hard labour and forceps delivery with my son, I can't imagine how much harder it would be with a c-section thrown into the mix. My second labour was so fast and easy compared to the first, I couldn't believe how great I felt afterwards compared to the first time round, I was lucky it all went ok.

MrsPorridge

LL you sound like an amazing MIL.  I had a tough time giving birth 23 years ago and my MIL wouldn't give me the time of day ( she still doesn't).   There is nothing much I envy nowadays, except those that have a fantastic relationship with their MIL.

helensbiggestfan

Oh dear sorry to hear so many of us have had difficult childbirth experiences.  Without being sexist you can bet your boots that if men had had to go through it things would have improved by now.😉

Thank you Mrs P.  I do my best for my boys and that includes their partners.  

I have been married twice.  Both times my MIL was vile.  Both very harsh and judgemental.  Both supposedly devout Christians but two less charitable women I have yet to meet.  

My first MIL hated me because she was xenophobic and hated the fact that my mother was foreign and that I was brought up a catholic,  (although by that time no longer practising).  My second mother in law looked down her nose at me because I came from a working class background.  She had the gall to call me a gold digger.  Did she get a shock first time she visited my home.  😂

She was so rude........she entered my home, sniffed loudly and said "I bet this must cost you something in rent".  I smiled sweetly and answered "I wouldn't know, I don't  rent it".  She was dumbstruck......eventually she said "do you mean you own it".  Ooh revenge is sweet. .........Her face was a picture.  

She really had to eat humble pie because her son had nothing when we met, just a clapped out old ford Escort and the clothes on his back. I was the woman of substance, he was the one of slender means.  He also had 3 other girlfriends in tow when we met so on paper not a good bet. 😅😂.  He was nothing like his mother, as generous and giving as she was mean and spiteful.  He was a bit of a diamond in the rough, all he needed was a little polishing......😉

So, when I had sons I swore I would do better.  I vowed that even if I didn't take to any woman who entered my sons lives and therefore my life I wouldn't prejudge them and I would make sure I made them feel welcome and wanted.    I would give them a fair chance.  

Yes, the girls and I have our differences but it's ok, both of them are more like me than they probably realise.  We actually have lots in common.  But, more importantly, both love my sons to bits and, in my eyes, that's what counts.  As long as they treat my boys right and make them happy, then  I'm happy.  

 DiL1 is a fiery Latina and I'm a mix of cool Englishwoman/Phlegmatic Belgian. Nothing much fazes me although I can erupt if pushed too far.  My late husband used to call me Vesuvius.  😂. The only thing that rankles a bit is the Latin American approach to time keeping...........but it's hardly a deal breaker.  For me if cleanliness is next to godliness then punctuality comes a close second, but it's just a cultural difference. Her whole family is the same. I've learned how to deal with it.  I now just assume there will be delays and plan accordingly, then if she is actually on time for something then I am pleasantly surprised.  

My DS2s girl is the opposite - you could set your watch by her.  She is a local girl so no cultural barriers to overcome.  

The two things both girls have in common is that they are both dreadful worriers whereas I have learned the futility of worry and I make sure that I dont succumb to stress and overwhelm.  I think my relaxed calm approach helps oil the wheels. 

I have never interfered or offered unsolicited advice. I just let them come to me if they want to ask my opinion.  Funnily enough they often do.  We have nice girly chats and lots of giggles, and DIL1 and I have the occasional "date night" as she calls them, where just the two of us go to the cinema and a bite to eat (pre covid of course). 

I am lucky. I always wanted daughters and I feel that I've struck gold with my boys partners.  They are lovely girls, they adore my boys and now one of them has given me two gorgeous grandsons.    Who could ask for more. 

thepurplepixie

Congratulations on the new baby.
I have 3 DsIL, well not all married but the same to me.  One is lovely, one is OK and one I have to bite my tongue and be polite and I'm pretty sure she won't be in the family long term, I can never forgive her for how she treats my GC, her step children, she is a good mother to her own and I don't understand how a woman can behave like she does.  To be fair I wish my son wouldn't let her influence him, I think after one broken marriage and being apart from his children he fears it happening again so bends over backwards.  I do have a daughter of my own and I am very close to her and her husband, he's told her if they ever divorce he's keeping me when they sort things out so I guess that is quite a compliment.
I'm getting my hair cut and coloured on Monday, can't wait and I should have had it done a couple of weeks ago but I just wasn't feeling great.

maman

I think that's wise to make a hair appointment pixie. I'm dithering as I should make one myself. My hair is OK but I'm afraid we'll either go up a tier or into lockdown and then I'll be sorry. 🤔

Like you LL, I've had two MILs but I think I've been a bit luckier. The first was a totally different person to me and we weren't close but she had a heart of gold and doted on my DD. My ex was an only child and DD was the girl she always wanted. She was happy to babysit whenever so I let her. She loved nothing more than to walk for miles with DD in her pram and their labrador running alongside, sometimes the dog gave up and went home🤣. I thought of her last week as her neighbour and very good friend was the grandmother of Spencer Davis. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kamXvqoL_JA

DH's mother was an absolute star. I'd have chosen her as a friend. I admired her massively for the way she'd brought up her children, treating boys and girls alike. Thanks to her I inherited a man who can clean and cook and hasn't a sexist bone in his body.  😁 😍

I'm having my eyebrows waxed and tinted tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it as it always makes me feel well groomed and look more awake. 😊 Today I took a few bits to the CS. I had a browse in a few of the shops but nothing caught my eye. I'd have hoped that with all the clearing out during lockdown they might have had some better offerings but there seemed to be a lot of well worn stuff from Tu. I may have a look in a few shops tomorrow, when I'm in the city centre, as I'm still on the lookout for leisure wear and a new duvet coat . I saw one I liked in TKMax but they only had  really large sizes so I might be lucky in a different branch. 

candygirl

Congrats on the new arrival LL, n I'm so sorry that your DIL had such a rough time xx