How can I help my autistic son?

General_Applause

My youngest son is 14 and is autistic. I think there is a reasonable chance of him scraping a pass at GCSE maths next year, so I have made up a few maths sheets that I go through with him twice a week.


Usually, he engages, albeit grudgingly, but we end up having a good half hour or so doing the maths and having a bit of a laugh too. His maths at school have improved too as we are always going over the basics, just a few sums for each subject, so that is always being refreshed in his memory.


Today, though, wasn't so good, so I left the room and my mind has been saying, screw you, waste your life on poxy youtube videos and fortnite.


I've calmed down now so has anyone got any half reasonable suggestions as to how I can coax him into spending a little time on the maths sheets and how I can keep myself motivated about trying to help him.


I know it is not his fault and that yes, he may just be tired today but he is one of those that will see at which point I crack and next time, push until that point.

Cyclamen

What do the school suggest? Has he been assessed?

How is your understanding of Autism and associated traits? - there are some excellent facebook groups and parent groups out there.

Where does his interest fall... can you use his special interests to make maths more interesting to him?

MissMollyJ

Talk to him about why it’s so important to “scrape a pass” at GCSE maths and if he agrees then he may see it as a worthwhile pastime.

The vast majority of autistic adults are not in full time employment despite a desire to be, and most of those have been through a standard schooling experience. It’s safe to say it isn’t working for them. There are many software development companies and gaming companies recruiting deliberately and exclusively to autistic adults as this field is excellent for their skill set. So maybe consider whether it would be more worthwhile for your son to be supported to develop his interests and skills that may end up getting him a job someday instead of completing maths sheets.

gomer

Turn the broadband off?

MovingForwards

If he has good / bad days with concentration don't try and force maths or any subject on a bad day.

Should he not scrape a pass, it isn't the end of the world, the great thing about education is you can dip in / out throughout your life.

Has he mentioned any career or areas he is interested in working in when he leaves school? Focus on what he needs for them, he can pick up others as he grows.

What help are you getting? Have you joined any support groups?

Over the years I've made several friends who are on the spectrum, as an adult they recognise their strengths, their weaknesses and have worked around it, a lot actually have their own businesses which are highly successful.

fewgroats

I'm also on the spectrum.

Look for community drama groups, where the stage is not too big. Possibly impro groups.

Maybe dance groups-trad dancing/country and western.

If he has a sister, encourage him to talk about his feelings to her. Don't allow him to overdo it, but he shouldn't see the opposite sex as a different species.

When there are pretty women on TV talk about what is attractive about them and encourage him to make comments, even if they seem rude to you. He might have more learning to do on that area, after all. Don't tease him about fancying a specific woman because maybe he doesn't.

An important thing is to tell girls he is interested in them, even if he has a slight interest in boys as well. You can like both

Allow him to learn about autism and do the same. Knowledge is power.

NBLondon

fewgroats wrote: »

If he has a sister, encourage him to talk about his feelings to her. Don't allow him to overdo it, but he shouldn't see the opposite sex as a different species.

When there are pretty women on TV talk about what is attractive about them and encourage him to make comments, even if they seem rude to you. He might have more learning to do on that area, after all. Don't tease him about fancying a specific woman because maybe he doesn't.

There's a couple of big assumptions for a start.... What if he happens to be autistic and gay/bisexual/asexual ? There's lots of different forms of autistic behaviour (it's called a spectrum for a reason) and not all of them are in the stereotype of uncommunicative.

Find out if you can why he struggles with maths... Is it Dyscalculia? Is it lack of focus? Is it not seeing the point? Then maybe as said above you can link maths to something he does care about.

gomer

gomer wrote: »

Turn the broadband off?

I still think this is the more simple solution if he wont engage & is wasting his life on YouTube and Fortnite.

With no internet even the most emotionally distracted people tend to focus a little more.

theoretica

It isn't clear from the first post if 'might scrape a pass in maths' is his best subject or his worst.

badmemory

Please don't take this the wrong way, but he is 14, could it just be a hormone hiccup?

AndyPix

General_Applause wrote: »

Today, though, wasn't so good, so I left the room and my mind has been saying, screw you, waste your life on poxy youtube videos and fortnite..

Im not too sure how autism works , but if this was me with my parenting hat on then it would have been more a case of making sure child doesn't do those things by removing the opportunity.


Or more simply "No more internet until maths done"