Giving every £ a job

Blackcats

@PennysIntoPounds and @EssexHebridean - you are officially the MSE'rs who kicked the hornets nest because today the annual begging text has arrived from that lot.  It's slightly earlier than usual as it normally arrives in February.  The wording this year suggests we need to contribute to "the upkeep" of the elderly relative.   Actually the elderly relative has a pension which could comfortably support their own "upkeep" if they weren't subsidising 2 adult children and their partners who work each year between May and September.  There are also 9 of their dogs living in the house.  

MrBC and his brother are meeting up at the weekend to discuss a response.  It's emotional blackmail because they clearly want to ensure their relative is safe, warm, fed and cared for.  

If they were in this country we could take food shopping to them, make them meals, buy them warm clothes etc but I doubt that any money we might send will reach the right recipient.

I'm trying to collect my thoughts to ensure I respond rather than react although I think the "F" word might have been used when we read the lengthy, slimy, self-pitying text.  Gosh I'm not doing that well so far on the calm, rationale, considered and measured thinking.

@foxgloves we also have crochet sofa blankets except our cat has nabbed mine for his personal use.  As he snoozes for the vast majority of the day and night it's proving difficult to reclaim it.  Plus I'm too much of a softie to tip him off it!

Sun_Addict

Oh no, I can't believe they're at it again 😞

lucielle

Brass neck springs to mind!
L

PennysIntoPounds

The F word sounds rational me dear!
It is absolutely not your responsibility to supplement someone else's decisions when they could use their money they have differently- and as you say, it's hardly like the individual concerned would actually see any of it. 
I think your previous stance of 'Sorry but now we're retired we don't have the income to do so' is more than adequate. 

foxgloves

Yep, what @PiP said. The more these spongers are given money, the more they will continue to expect it. You & Mr BC are not there to subsidise poor decisions. The 'can't afford to subsidise you now we're retired' is the perfect response. Honestly, the cheek of them! I suppose it's 'usually February' because that's when the ramifications of seasonal overspending kicks in.
F

ladyholly

What @PiP said. Alternatively the use of the "f" word seems equally appropriate.

PennysIntoPounds

This has actually made me quite cross on your behalf 😂
I completely understand
 'MrBC and his brother are meeting up at the weekend to discuss a response. It's emotional blackmail because they clearly want to ensure their relative is safe, warm, fed and cared for'
but I think a phone call directly to the relative to ask a) if they are struggling and if so (probably coerced) b) if they would like to give them their financial details so MrBC and bro can do the benefits eligibility checker for them, is all that is required for MrBC and bro to have a clear conscience, despite it clearly being a scam
https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/benefits-check/
Then c) if relative has been prompted to say they're struggling but have checked and not entitled, then ask their permission to get in touch with the local social services on their behalf as from your understanding they should have enough to live on so perhaps something is not right with their finances from some outside unknown source. That should be enough to scare off the skanky rellies who will clearly be listening but maybe also leaves space for relative to ask for support should they also be of the mind that these people are ghastly and taking the p*ss

redofromstart

Huge sympathy on the emotional financial blackmail. So hard to deal with.

Love the blanket, my grandma taught me to do granny squares a good 40 years ago and I have never tried crochet since.  Mr Redo had bought some hooks for something which I found in his craft cave.  Must try watching some you tube videos and give it a go again, at least if I can't do it then I can rehome the set.

Blackcats

Thank you all for your supportive comments - it's nice to know that I'm not being a complete 🐄.
the situation is complicated because the relatives are based in Europe and the elderly person has poor short term memory.  They appear to have no control of their bank account so none of us know where the money is going.  This is not through official routes just an individual who has taken over management of their finances.
 
I read a Mark Twain quote - "when you are angry count to 4, when you are very angry swear".  Well today was another beyond 4 day.  I can laugh now though as it is absolutely incredible.  Message (not from elderly relative) summarised along the lines of "will you be flying over with the money in the next few days or paying it straight into my account?  If you prefer you can make the payment over 2 months instead of all in one go" 🤣

other than that another nice day here.  Trip to one of our local museums where we are members for a coffee morning and access to archived exhibits.  Some lovely items to see and learn about and nice people to chat with.  It's my turn to cook tonight so I'd better scoot off and start chopping veg for special fried rice made particularly special by fridge bottom veggies and freezer odds and ends. 

If you don't hear from me for a couple of days it's probably because I'm on my private jet with a briefcase full of cash handcuffed to my wrist flying over to Europe 🥳

foxgloves

I am rarely speechless, @Blackcats, but that's extortion. I think the succinct reply to their question is 'Neither'. 
Unbelievable!!
F (so outraged on your behalf that I'm actually posting on a city centre night out!!) X