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Keeping Going For My Furbabies
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Cat question - you said they'd find the flat small but anyway you'd be able to eg cat flap between the flat and the house? If your mum was up for it of course!
Otherwise that sounds like a good plan!0 -
I’ve just caught up on your diary, sounds like an eventful few days! The stocking up for the cats made me smile - my first thought when shortages started appearing was also to make sure I had enough cat food in.
Your mum’s house thing sounds interesting, and it sounds like you’re quite keen to do it? Even in the short term, having somewhere to go once the flat sells would take a huge amount of the stress away. I’m very close to my mum and wish I could see her more often (I’ve been thinking about moving closer), but I think for us the same building might be a bit too close for me to feel fully independent. Everyone is different though!My only caution is to explore how your mum would feel if she did all the work to convert the place and you only stayed briefly before moving on, would there be any resentment on her part? Also, building work takes so long and is so messy - would there be a place for you to stay in the midst of it all? I can imagine a housing slowdown might be round the corner, but there still seems to be a high chance that the work wouldn’t be started before it’s time for you to move, let alone completed. And I can testify that cats and getting work done are a real stress to mix together. I don’t mean to be a downer, just some things to think about if you haven’t already. I can imagine even having the option is a huge relief, and your mum seems to have thought through possible pitfalls. I’m glad you have herDebt at LBM (Dec 2018): £23,167
Debt free Feb 20211 -
Hi everyone, lots of lovely feedback and comments for me to get to
First of all - I did the half marathon!! I'm a bit disappointed in my time, it was slower than last time, but I had a bad stomach this morning, it was very windy, super hilly which I'd forgetten about, and my sciatica started up halfway round so everything considered I'm just proud of myself that I did it, and was sub 2 hours 30 mins. Didn't see ex so win win lol. I'm hoping I've got some good pictures, if I do I'll definitely buy the package as I love having them as momentos. My mum took me and picked me up so I didn't need to spend anything on travel, and she got me a McD nugget meal on the way home as I just craved chips and a chocolate milkshake!
I haven't spent anything over the last two days, yesterday I went to yoga (one of the last classes) and had a really good class, both my mum and I used my pass so I have the last class free. Then I went to see my Dad, he was in fairly good spirits and when I told him about Peru he was really excited for me and also jealous as he used to go travelling round the world on his own.
[redacted]I've come to the conclusion ex is a bit thick - he messaged to say we've got an appointment on 21st with the estate agents that sold downstairs, along with the one the week after. He said "If this meeting goes well we can cancel the one on the 28th".....well no, that's not quite the point is it? It's to see what they would value it for, their fees, and even if we liked them we might like the next one even more! Plus the woman below has admitted they've let it go cheap just to sell it, which doesn't bode well in my eyes! I need to contact the local ones I have in mind but I was waiting for him to sort his out first, and I've felt so busy the past couple of days. Not sure I can do it tomorrow either if I'm on my own because I need to be free for the phones.I will come back to all your comments re: mum's house/flat as there's some very good comments, I just feel wiped out so I'm going to keep it chill for the rest of the afternoon/evening. I need to get onto Photobox as it's the last day I can order a mother's day present, she liked my canvas so I'm thinking of doing that for her. Plus looks like there's a code and I'll get cashback as well.Hope you've all had a good weekend!Nov 19 CC was: £1334.95 Now: £0!! 1% challenge - 100% Savings:£300.83February take lunch to work: 19/18
Made in Feb: £41.68 Made in March: £32.15
Made in April: £31.79, Made in May: £30.181 -
Sub 2 hour 30 with everything you describe is something to be proud of, well done!Ex seems to be an anything for a quiet life type 🙄Debt at LBM (Dec 2018): £23,167
Debt free Feb 20210 -
Thanks @astrocytic_kitten, I have never been so happy as when I saw that finishing line. I know, that's why I dreaded having kids with him, thank god that's no longer my concernOk so today has been busy but pretty simple - work work work, taking loads of phone calls, went to Home Bargains on my lunch, spent £5.05 but 79p of that was on a Mother's Day card, the rest was for work snacks. Everyone in there was buying food, obviously topping up what they can't get elsewhere. My legs are absolutely destroyed today, my whole body feels broken. I have to use stairs to go to the toilet at work and o m g
the pain!! Going to do some restorative yoga to try and help the cramps.
Nov 19 CC was: £1334.95 Now: £0!! 1% challenge - 100% Savings:£300.83February take lunch to work: 19/18
Made in Feb: £41.68 Made in March: £32.15
Made in April: £31.79, Made in May: £30.180 -
DawnW said:It sounds worth considering, certainly in the short term. You don't know exactly when the flat will sell, and when it does you will be under pressure to find something within a specific period of time. With pets, and needing to be in a specific area for work etc, it isn't always easy to get somewhere quickly. And after all, you could always get something else later on if you like?feeldaburn said:Cat question - you said they'd find the flat small but anyway you'd be able to eg cat flap between the flat and the house? If your mum was up for it of course!
Otherwise that sounds like a good plan!The only issue is my mum already has a cat, and he's really very ill - he's got a disease which means basically all of his organs are shutting down, and he's not been given that long to live. So anything we do has to be the least stressful for him as possible as my mum works very hard and pays a lot of money to keep him going. Not sure having two burly BSHs moving into his space would be good for him. It's really sad as well because he was my baby when I lived there, my mum wouldn't let me take him when we moved out. He's also been diagnosed with the same bladder condition as me so it's doubly sad
Anyway short answer to that is no. I did ask about maybe having a catio outside, but the only windows go out onto the roof (one the main roof and one the roof of the extensions) and both are sloped.
astrocytic_kitten said:I’ve just caught up on your diary, sounds like an eventful few days! The stocking up for the cats made me smile - my first thought when shortages started appearing was also to make sure I had enough cat food in.
Your mum’s house thing sounds interesting, and it sounds like you’re quite keen to do it? Even in the short term, having somewhere to go once the flat sells would take a huge amount of the stress away. I’m very close to my mum and wish I could see her more often (I’ve been thinking about moving closer), but I think for us the same building might be a bit too close for me to feel fully independent. Everyone is different though!My only caution is to explore how your mum would feel if she did all the work to convert the place and you only stayed briefly before moving on, would there be any resentment on her part? Also, building work takes so long and is so messy - would there be a place for you to stay in the midst of it all? I can imagine a housing slowdown might be round the corner, but there still seems to be a high chance that the work wouldn’t be started before it’s time for you to move, let alone completed. And I can testify that cats and getting work done are a real stress to mix together. I don’t mean to be a downer, just some things to think about if you haven’t already. I can imagine even having the option is a huge relief, and your mum seems to have thought through possible pitfalls. I’m glad you have herShe was very adament that I could come and go as I pleased, she wouldn't interfere in my day to day life. As I mentioned earlier in the thread, our relationship almost disintegrated as she was quite controlling, so we've both had quite a learning curve. I don't think there would be resentment as she knows I wouldn't want to be there long term. Part of the reason behind it is so that my brother could move into it later on so he could have some independance but still be near my mum. The space as it stands is not being used at all, so I know she'd much rather it be useful in some way. I get what you're saying about the work time, and that's definitely something to consider. If the work couldn't be done before I moved in then I'd have to find somewhere to rent, as there's no way I could live in a tiny space AND have builders/decorators in. Really we need to see how the next couple of months are going to go with COVID-19, none of us can predict how long this is going to go for and the real rammifications of it. If this thing with my mum doesn't work out at all and it was just an idea, then so be it. I know she is very keen for it to happen, and I will plan as if that's going to happen until it's been knocked on the head completely. One of the factors will be how much (if anything) I can get from this sale, and we won't know that until we have a few quotes, and then see what the interest is.I think that's it for now, been typing way longer than I planned toHope everyone has a good evening!
Nov 19 CC was: £1334.95 Now: £0!! 1% challenge - 100% Savings:£300.83February take lunch to work: 19/18
Made in Feb: £41.68 Made in March: £32.15
Made in April: £31.79, Made in May: £30.181 -
StartingAgainAt29 said:Thanks @astrocytic_kitten, I have never been so happy as when I saw that finishing line. I know, that's why I dreaded having kids with him, thank god that's no longer my concernDebt at LBM (Dec 2018): £23,167
Debt free Feb 20211 -
@astrocytic_kitten isn't it crazy! Such a red flag.
Morning everyone, a couple of things money-wise to report:
1) Made my mum's mother's day prezzie on Tuesday, made her a canvas of her cats (one sadly deceased) and as photobox had a 50% off thing I got it for £24 with speedy delivery. Got 40p or so cashback as well but apparently it takes 9 weeks for me to be able to claim it
That came from my present fund.
2) Went to Aldi and a small Tesco last night with my mum, couldn't get everything I needed but got some long-life bits and managed to get cat food in the Tesco. Bit more expensive than Aldi but has to be done. Spent £37.81 which is more than I expected but I did buy a cheeky bottle of vodka so that put it up a bit! Couldn't get any rice, pasta, long-life milk or bread but my mum's got some she can share with me. With everything in my freezer, fridge and cupboards now I should be fine for the most part as long as I can still do top-up shops over the next few weeks for cat food.
3) Still coming into work and being rushed off my feet answering the phones for cancellations. Our Director's other business (in travel) has asked for voluntary redundancies, and with our business the way it's going I'm wondering if they'll do the same to us. With all the buildings in London closing we're just not sending out many orders, for example on a Wednesday we usually deliver around 180, today was 39
4) Got my eyebrows done last night, £30 from beauty fund. She's going to close next week and as she's self-employed she's worried. Most people are in the same boat aren't they!
Assuming the estate agent visit and my hospital appointment are still going head on Saturday...I'm tidying/cleaning the flat one room at a time to prepare. My mum went in yesterday to clean the blinds for me and she's going to repaint a radiator that got dye on it from a running top I put on there to dry a while ago (never known anything like it, this blue dye won't come off!!) She likes being at my place anyway as I have Hayu and she can catch up on The Real Housewives of OC
My legs still feel broken from the run, I've found a training plan on Bupa's website, if I stick to it will be intense but should really help me prepare for the next one. I really want to hit 2 hours 15 mins if I can! Will start that properly next week as long as things don't go pear-shaped in the meantime!
Nov 19 CC was: £1334.95 Now: £0!! 1% challenge - 100% Savings:£300.83February take lunch to work: 19/18
Made in Feb: £41.68 Made in March: £32.15
Made in April: £31.79, Made in May: £30.184 -
Hi everyone, a quick catchup while I can as life has gone a bit mental!
[redacted]
Spends-wise, Wednesday I was naughty and got a fish and chips delivery as I felt so unwell I just wanted grease. It cost me £8.50, but I checked and it had been over a month since my last takeaway so not going to feel too bad about that. My mum sent me a link last night where you can get 3 free Molton Brown soaps (including no P&P) so I snapped them up! I've got £50 in my budget to last me the rest of the month, although as I haven't sent my OP to my credit card yet I have that to fall back on if necessary. I need to do a lot of cleaning tonight/tomorrow for the EA visit, as I've felt so ill the past few days all I can do when I get home is cook, watch a bit of TV and go to sleep! I'm hoping with some proper rest over the weekend I'll recuperate enough for the hectic-ness of next week.
In sad news, the half marathon in June has been put on holdSuppose it's not that surprising but I was looking forward to having that to work towards!
Hope everyone has a good Friday
Nov 19 CC was: £1334.95 Now: £0!! 1% challenge - 100% Savings:£300.83February take lunch to work: 19/18
Made in Feb: £41.68 Made in March: £32.15
Made in April: £31.79, Made in May: £30.184 -
Well what a day!My mum helped me out and hoovered and mopped the flat so I didn't have to do too much last night to make the flat visit-ready. I went to the hospital today, was quite empty and eerie to see a lot of people wearing masks. I was surprised but glad my appointment still went ahead. Spoke to the nice nurse who does my appointments and she said she has food, but not really what she wants. So frustrating! The parking was free as the barriers were up which saved me £1.20!Came home, and last minute put stuff away and hoovered for the estate agent to come round. He got here before my ex, so I showed him round and then ex turned up and the guy did his selling spiel. He seems to think he's got loads of people ready and waititng with mortgages and this place would sell in a week, but if we don't jump on it now we won't sell for 12 months. The problem is we know that downstairs sold for less than the owners wanted. His fee is £3k which seems a lot to me when I've had leaflets through the door from other agencies that are £1.5k. We're going to have the other lot come round next week, and I'll try and get some others round too so we can have a few options to consider. The guy today was very pushy, and I'm not sure I liked his patter very much! His agency has sold the flats in our building on a number of ocassions, but it's interesting our sellers didn't use him.SO. Ex ended up staying for 2 hours after the guy had left, and we were talking nicely the whole time. He apologised for the way he's treated me the past 5 months, the things he's said and done, he says he knows it doesn't make it right but he didn't go about things the right way and he regrets it. He says he's thought it for a while but just hasn't known how to say it to me (him being a poor communicator and I suppose being a bit intimidated!) Honestly, I feel like a weight has been lifted. I told him everything I have felt about this split, from the hurt, the disrespect, the feeling that I've been wiped from his life etc. He admitted he was trying to wipe me out of his life. I said about the new gf and him basically saying to the world "I was so unhappy but now look at me I'm so happy!" and he said that was exactly what he was doing. See how well I know him! He said he's done too much too soon, and that includes the new gf (doesn't sound like that's too much of a thing now). We said a lot, I told him I wanted us to be on a friendly level, I'd been with him for 6 years and I don't want to wipe that out of my life. I said I hoped he could work on himself and work out what he wants, I said I'm working on myself and working stuff out, and as a friend I want him to live his life in an authentic way for him and do the best for himself. I don't necessarily forgive him right now for how he's done all this, but I can see he's been struggling and I've known all along he's not a bad guy, he was just completely over his head and didn't have the emotional tools to deal with any of this. We caught up on a lot of the things that have happened since our split, had a laugh, he loves the canvas of the cats. He's on the same page as me that he doesn't want to rush through this sale to just sell, we want as much as we can get. I told him even if this does end up being a joint asset for a while I would get someone in to help with the costs, he would still have to be on the mortgage but he wouldn't be on the hook for the monthly costs (this is worst case scenario and should the market completely collapse). I think I'm rambling a bit, but overall I just feel a lot of relief and a huge release. I was starting to feel bitter and I honestly don't want to feel that way. People are in our life for a reason, and I don't want to think negatively about my relationship with ex. Oh and he didn't kick me off netflix, he reset the password and then remembered that would reset it here too
He doesn't want any of the furniture apart from the sofa so that's a relief for me, means whatever happens next I won't have to buy all new furniture.
I guess I'll leave it here, I've got a tension headache and I think I'll be processing what's happened for the rest of the day. Will do some yoga in a bit and then watch horror films with some red wine and cat2 as he loves horror films!
Nov 19 CC was: £1334.95 Now: £0!! 1% challenge - 100% Savings:£300.83February take lunch to work: 19/18
Made in Feb: £41.68 Made in March: £32.15
Made in April: £31.79, Made in May: £30.184
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