Keeping Going For My Furbabies

little_green

loving the updates! hope it's a good weekend for  you & ex & his mother arent disturbing you 

StartingAgainAt29

Hi @bd80s I don't usually but for some reason there were loads the other night!

Thanks for checking in @little_green! I had a bit of a wobble today as ex texted but luckily my friends were here, more on that below....

Hi everyone, got a banging headache but not sure if it's tiredness, red wine, migraine, mixture of all three or none of the above...

So to go back to the beginning, yesterday at work was ok, as good as it can be! I let the other girl in my team go early as we do that for each other on a Friday. Then I stood up to leave - BOOM my sciatica was in full force. Couldn't walk. I was then panicking because I was supposed to go home, throw the hoover round, and then walk back into town to meet my friends. Managed to get myself out of the building (limping), phoned my mum to ask what to do and she ended up coming to pick me up to take me home. It wasn't far but I couldn't get the *click* I needed in my back to get this trapped nerve to get better. So she picked me up, she hoovered for me while I adjusted my back, and then she took me back into town to meet my friends 30 mins late. I'm so grateful for her! My sciatica is much better today

I had a really good evening, we were in the restaurant for 3 hours chatting, shared a bottle of wine and had pasta. We spent £14 each, for some reason my portion of food was seriously generous, so I took a lot of it home and I'm going to have that tonight, means I don't have to cook until tomorrow now. One of my friends got some snacks for us on the way home, and bread, ham and cheese for toasties. We came home and shared another bottle of wine, were up until 2am, when I got one friend ready on the sofa and me and my other friend shared my bed. I haven't shared a bed in a while so that was interesting! Didn't get the best sleep but think it was a mixture of the wine and being dehydrated.

We got up around 9ish, and we chatted until 4pm I made toasties around lunchtime, and I have stuff left so that I don't have to buy bread next week which is handy. The boys were on fine form, for some reason if it's a group of girls they are happy to come and be sociable but if there's any men Cat2 hides So my wobble - we'd talked on and off about ex and the flat situation, then he texts me - he wants to call a few estate agents to come round next weekend, does that suit me, he can be there for the appointments. It really doesn't, next weekend I've got the half marathon etc. So I said so, and said we could call for Saturday 21st or 28th. He's replied to say we should do it seperately so he could do some on the 21st and me on the 28th. Surely we should both be there to hear what they have to say on the actual day? Hmm? Anyway I'm not replying for tonight, will have a think and reply tomorrow.

Plan for tonight is leftover pasta, a couple of films and popcorn, then bed to attempt to be up for a 10 mile run tomorrow. I had on my list to do yoga and the litter tray, but with the way my head is feeling that isn't happening.

Hope everyone has had a good Saturday

StartingAgainAt29

Hello everyone!

Well the run hasn't happened yet (and not sure it will), still don't feel great with this headache/migraine. I'm worrying a bit as I haven't run at all this week, and the half marathon is next Sunday, but maybe I'll try and do a shorter run tomorrow if I feel ok. No point forcing it today as it's going to make me worse.

I've done two loads of washing, waiting for another one to finish. Done a few PA surveys so hoping I can get that to over £5 next week. Need 3 coins to get £5 on Receipt Hog so that will definitely be done next week. Zipzero is up to £2.85. I've got lentil bolognese in the slow cooker, had some leftover wine from last week and Friday so stuck that in, see how that is. All the veg came from the freezer as I'd cut it all up a few weeks ago. I have loads of freezer meals (and will have around 5 more with this lentil bolognese) so next week I'm going to try and eat from the freezer every day. My deodarant ran out this morning, my ex left the man's version of the one I use (mitchum rollerball) so I've just starting using his one to save buying a new one. I want to make a natural one that @Elisheba gave me the recipe for, need cornstarch though so will look at getting that next week so I can try that. If I feel ok later I'm going to try and make energy bites, which are made from porridge oats (left by ex), peanut butter (also left by ex), honey and chocolate chips. The recipe called for pumpkin spice as well but I'm not keen on that. I just need to blast it all in the blender, roll up into balls and freeze. I'm hoping if they work out they will be good snacks for work, I like the ones I get from Aldi (they are their version of the nakd bars), but they are expensive at £1.50 for 3 bars. If these work and anyone else is interested I can post the recipe

I was talking to my friends about gardening yesterday as my friend who lives in Bristol is on the waiting list for an allotment, her and her partner want to start growing their own herbs and veg. I've got a kit for bonsai trees which my brother got me for christmas a couple of years ago, so I thought I might have a go with them and if I get the green-finger bug I might look at doing herbs or something. I'm in a bit of a funk at the moment, so I'm wondering if doing something like that that I can see progress with might be enjoyable. Plus I love bonsai trees and I want to use the present!

little_green

@StartingAgainAt29 glad to hear you had a nice chill night & next day with your friends  
lol @ mum helping you, i'm the same with my mother! 
i completely agree with you re both of you being there for the estate agent. It's just going to get complicated if you do it separately & there will be a lot of back & forth with info exchange. Just be firm with him. 

StartingAgainAt29

Thanks @little_green, I did text him to say it made no sense us doing it seperately and he's agreed. The thing is, I know what he would do - he would nod his head and go along with whatever they said, and then later on say "oh I didn't understand what they meant". He's so scared of looking stupid that he won't ask questions, even when he doesn't understand! So no way I would trust him meeting people on his own.

I'm quickly coming on as I'm so ill my head is so bad today and worse this evening than it was when I woke up. I've stayed home from work but I don't get sick pay, so now I'm worrying and I don't think I'll be ready to go back tomorrow my George Foreman tripped my electrics earlier while I was making a toasty, my mum came round to drop some cottage pie portions off so she took that home and has switched the fuse. She brought me loads of receipts so I've claimed my £5 off Receipt Hog and am almost up to £5 on Zipzero.

bd80s

Glad you came to an agreement with the ex, at least you will be fully up to speed with what is happening and what they say. 
Hope you feel better  

StartingAgainAt29

Thanks @bd80s!

Well I went back to work today, still don't feel 100% and feel dizzy if I do too much but I'm just going to have to roll with it. I went to the osteopath last night, wore some flimsy plimsoll shoes to drive in and now my foot is killing me! Great idea when I have the half marathon on Sunday! Speaking of, my brother who's meant to be doing it with me has lost his name & number tag, and ex (the winner of the leaving it till the last minute award) asked me if his number has come here as he's only just remembered he put this address down (well he signed up to it before we'd broken up so not sure how he didn't realise...). I was honest and said I haven't had it, I did think about his when I got mine but then because he's not my problem any more I swiftly forgot about it

Went to Aldi, spent £18.59 so I have £51 left of my grocery budget for the month. I'm going to buy 3 boxes of cat food rather than 2 over the next few weeks just in case. Because they only eat the gravy stuff if I can't get that they will go hungry so I feel that's a valid thing to keep a small stock of lol. My canvas came today and I am CHUFFED with it, my mum's coming round in a bit to help me hang on it on the wall. Can't wait to say au revoir to ex's mum's horrible hotel pic!! The cats are loving the box and packaging so it's a nice treat for them as well lol.

ETA - my money from Receipt Hog came through so I've added it to my Good Riddance Fund

StartingAgainAt29

Hi everyone!

Some minor things to report:

• went to the library earlier and picked up a couple of books I had on hold, one about a guy who went to Machu Picchu
  
• Spent £1.65 on guacamole in Sainsburys as there was none in Aldi yesterday
• I'm working on my own in the office tomorrow as the other two are WFH. I've volunteered to work from the office every day to save one of the others coming in who live a lot further than me, as I don't really want to WFH when I live on my own! The building might go into lockdown though, in which case I'd have no choice
• My mum helped put up the canvas last night and it looks AMAZING
  

So my mum had an interesting proposal for me last night which I'd love to hear you guys' thoughts on. As she's due for a lump sum from her pension this year (which she's very kindly giving me some of towards MP), she was thinking about what to do for my youngest brother who has some developmental problems. While he's "normal" in a lot of senses, we're not sure that he'll be able to move out and live on his own completely. Since I moved out, neither of them use the upstairs of the house. So, she was thinking about converting the upstairs into a self-contained flat, which my brother could move into later down the line, or my mum could have someone else move in there and pay rent. What that means is I could potentially move in there when this place has sold, pay her what I'm currently paying for my half of the mortgage, and still be able to have an independant life but be able to save and work out my next steps.

She expected me to say no straight away, but I don't see this as a step back necessarily as I would still have my independance and have a place to have friends over etc, but I'd also have her close by to feed the cats if I need her to. I could still walk to work (or get the bus if I'm feeling lazy), my car insurance would be cheaper as even though it's only 5 minutes down the road it is a "nicer" postcode, and I'm still very close to town.

Obviously the practicalities of it would have to be worked out, and she would need to get a builder over to say what's feasible and what's not. She has a contact who has done similar work so she will be talking to him. It would mean me downsizing a lot of my belongings, but although it would be difficult it's not a bad thing, ultimately I do want to learn to live with less, and not be so attached to "stuff". It might be small for the cats, but I'm sure they'd adapt and I could potentially have shelves for them put up so they could still play and climb.

There may be things that are glaring out to some of you readers, so please, even if it's negative please let me know. I need to fully consider this, and really first of all we need to consider if it's going to be something we can actually do, and if there'll be any downsides to it (for me or my mum alike). If it can be done it would take a lot of pressure off me thinking about moving on from here. I'm not going to say anything to ex either way as although he doesn't care I don't want him to think I might have a solution sorted so he can try and push for a quick and low sale.

I'll leave that here, please let me know you all think!

bd80s

Hmm I do think think it's a good idea but you would need to be 100% confident that you could have the independance you want.  Obviously I don't know the family dynamics but being so close would there come a point where it was always expected of you to drop in every night for a cuppa and a chat, doing bits and pieces just because you're close etc.....
I only say this as when I was younger I moved into a bungalow on the farm where I kept my horse, really cheap rent for a 2 bed bungalow (£35/week! with the horse just across the lane), surrounded by fields it appeared to be ideal but very quickly the owners (both in their 70's at the time) started to expect me to pop in for a nightly chat, wanted to know what I was doing constantly, calling me over because they couldn't get the TV to work, making me food I didn't want and insisting I ate with them etc etc.  Different dynamic with your mum of course but it is very easy to get into a situation from being nice and enjoying it to all of a sudden it creates issues if you miss a nightly cuppa and could cause tension. 
I know you will look at all angles and will probably get lots of difference perspectives to help you think it through but (and ignore if you want) don't go with it because it's the easiest ideal option, do it because it's the one that makes most sense  

StartingAgainAt29

Hi @bd80s thank you for your feedback! Completely get you on the boundaries thing - my mum and I have had boundary issues in the past, we are very similar people and can clash big time. At one point I didn't think we'd get our relationship back on track just before I moved into this flat. But, that was one thing she said to me the other night was she recognised where we went wrong and she was willing to make sure we didn't get to the same place. The reason this would work so well for me is because of where I live (London zone 6) it would cost me around £950 for a one-bed tiny flat (and that's without bills), which is 61% of my salary (I calculated it ) and that's the same as our mortgage on our two-bed. If I could pay £450 with most bills included I'd be so much better off. But yes we would definitely have to put rules in place and I wouldn't be willing to pop downstairs into the main house every night and I think she'd be ok with that.

So ex has arranged for an appointment on the 28th for an estate agent, I've agreed and said once he has both his appointments in place I'll contact the local agents I'm interested in.

I got an email from my yoga teacher to say she can't afford to run the class anymore so will be stopping after this month I have a class pass so will be due some money back as I wouldn't be able to get the value back before she stops. I'm really sad as I do really enjoy the class, but she's just not making any money back from the room she rents so completely understand it. Will go tomorrow and probably see my dad after, was going to go in London to meet a uni friend but we've agreed it's safer not to travel on public transport for now.

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Hope everyone is well!