Keeping Going For My Furbabies

StartingAgainAt29

Hi @SSDD23 yes they certainly can be!

Sitting here at work feeling like my heart is breaking all over again....the girls have looked at ex's new gf's insta, there's a comment on there from him from 24th December, so he was literally like a month out from leaving me when they met. Apparently she looks like me, I don't see it, I'm not looking at any other photos of her to check. How can I stop the hurt? I've been so strong but I feel like I'm battered over and over again...

astrocytic_kitten

Oh love, I’m so sorry. Sending hugs 🤗 You’re already doing so well pushing through and doing all the exercise / relaxing / eating right / seeing friends stuff. I hate to say it but the only way out is through, you’ve just got to keep breathing and keep doing what you’re doing. It’s horrible and it’s really hard.

Can you have a few days off him and his family coming round and decorating at all? Sounds like you really need a break and some time to just be.

StartingAgainAt29

Thanks @astrocytic_kitten, had a bit of a wobble there! From what him and his mum said this weekend should be the last time they're round. I think if they do need to come by after that I'll tell them no for a couple of weeks, it isn't nice to come home to my space with things moved, especially as his mum seems to move things I use every day and then I can't find it when it comes to use them. Makes me feel very out of sorts in what should be my safe space.

Normal programming will resume as normal today hopefully. I went home, had a cry, made myself a vodka and peach water, and talked to my best friend and mum about it all. It's going to hurt for a while, and I've got more hard times coming up, just need to be gentle with myself. Had a chorizo omelette and baked potato for dinner, was good. 

The cats have destroyed another library book, and not sure I'll be able to salvage this one...two pages are completely ripped in half, and two have fallen out (although I think that's because the binding in the book is loose). May have to pay the fine for this one

Thinking of going to Iceland after work, there's one round the corner from me but I never go. I want things like frozen spinach and onions, but want to see if it's viable for me to get meat from there too to top up my Aldi shops. I do need more decaff coffee for work as having my last cup right now.

I'm debating doing an easy 3 mile run tonight depending on how my knee feels - it hurts but I think it's more the surface of it coming into contact with my clothes when I bend it. I'm not going to push myself though, didn't even wash my hair this morning (this is day 8 now ) so if I don't have the energy I will just chill again like last night. Good job I have hair wax and it's easy enough to put into a bun

StartingAgainAt29

Hi all, my usual morning check-in -
Went to Iceland after work last night, spent £6.60 and got frozen onions, frozen broccoli, frozen mixed peppers, frozen spinach, and decaf coffee, very pleased with that. Came home, didn't want to run as it was raining but decided I needed to as it's crunch time for this run now. Was going to do a slow recovery run, ended up doing really well and smashing my times had the rest of my butterbean stew with a baked potato and then just chilled.

The DD for my phone came out today minus the £1 I sent via zipzero so I know that's working. Will focus on working on as much of next month's bill as I can.
Getting my eyebrows done later, that's £30 but that's coming from my beauty fund. Love having fresh brows
Will probably go to Aldi tonight, the list isn't that big but not sure how much it will come to. I have £39 for the rest of the month, that should only be for food spends but will see how I go. I've got the hospital on Saturday so that's parking, and need to decide what to do for the rest of the day while ex is in the flat, will likely have around 4 hours to kill. Maybe the cinema, that film Parasite is showing so maybe I could go and watch that, I've got a code for a free popcorn.

astrocytic_kitten

I haven’t done it in ages but I used to love going to the cinema by myself in the middle of the day. It would feel so luxurious to go solo, watch whatever I fancied, ignore all my responsibilities for a while (I’d take the afternoon off work and turn off my phone) and escape into the big screen. So I’d definitely recommend that!

StartingAgainAt29

Yes @astrocytic_kitten the more I think about it the more I think it's what I'm going to do, there's a showing at 12:10 that will take me through to around the time he will be leaving the flat so think it will work out perfectly. You make it sound amazing!

Got back from Aldi, spent £21.20, picked up a more luxurious pasta than the cheap spaghetti I was going to get, it's this thick, weird-looking pasta, they don't have it very often so I thought sod it. They also had the colour-catching sheets in and I'm almost out so picked up some of those too. I won't have loads of dosh next week so will get the cats' food and try and eat out of my cupboards/freezer as much as I can.

My Monzo pot hit £28 so I've sent that over to the CC, 23% paid now and I'm so close to under £1k!!

StartingAgainAt29

So exciting news....I've booked my trip to Peru!! I decided last night just to do it, I've gone for mid-July as the passes for the Inca trail at the beginning of the month were sold out. I know it's not very MSE but it's a once in a lifetime thing for me, and something I've wanted to do for ages. It's just over £1600 (that includes the tour, flights, hotel, airport transfers), my mum is going to give me £1k and £200 for my birthday in August. I've put it all on my CC, but I'm not going to count the extra £400 for a few reasons:
1) I think it will affect my motivation 
2) I still have some things to get like clothing, rucksack etc
3) I may get more money from my mum at a later date depending on what comes through with her pension
So, I'm going to keep the total in my sig the same for now, and work on sending the 1% increments as it stands. Once I've been on my holiday and so know the total amount I owe for it, then I'll include that total in my overall total. Not sure if that makes sense to anyone else but it's how it's going to work for me!
They still need to call me to confirm everything, and to confirm the passes for the Inca trail etc, but now it's in the diary I feel like I can get excited for it! Need to look at travel insurance, I've had a look at the vaccinations and I need to get Hep A and Tetanus at least, so will put a note in my diary to get that booked in for 6 weeks before I go.

Happy_Monday

Just delurking to say how amazing you’ve booked Peru. I’ve ALWAYS wanted to go and walk the Inca trail and for one reason or another have never booked it. You will have an amazing time, and after the rough few months you’ve had you deserve something to look forward to xxx

StartingAgainAt29

Thanks for delurking @Happy_Monday! I am so looking foward to it, it ends at Machu Picchu and I know it will be breathtaking. Easily going to be the most adventurous thing I've done. I will be sure to report back

I was a bit naughty and spent £5 on a fish and chips (or rather saveloy and chips) dinner tonight. My stomach's been weird all day so thought a more bland dinner would be better, than got stuck on the phone to a new customer with a huge order so left work later than usual. I took the remaining fiver out of my clothes fund for this month, I'm not going to use it and the dinner was going to happen regardless. I did enjoy it!

Ex and his mum are here tomorrow and Saturday. When I replied to his message to ask if that's it done then, he said they may need next Saturday and me and my mum "can do the main room". I don't really know what he means, unless it's the fact my mum said she'd deep clean the carpet. Otherwise nothing else is getting done in there lol. Then told me we need to "meet up one evening to discuss estate agents". I suppose I'll have to put my big girl pants on but I honestly can't imagine sitting and having a convo with him right now, especially after the whole new gf thing. Feel like I won't be able to control my mouth! Wondering if I could suggest having a neutral third party with us....anyway I'm not going to reply to his text until tomorrow so I'll have a think.

little_green

just checking in again. Still enjoy reading your daily updates even if i don't always post. 
Amazing that you have gone ahead & booked peru!! we are all cheering you on!   I need some of that get up & go attitude!