Moving forward and upwards

MovingForwards

Thanks SW and Skinty

I just wanted to be fussed over by TomBo, open a present and be loved at home, trying to make the best of an odd time.  As always, it will pass by as a normal day and then it's Christmas.

We went out and I left my phone at home. I had a mini stress bout trying to agree with TomBo where I'd meet him, he ended up tracking me down as I waited to get my brows done; they're not as nice as last time ☹️

After that we went to T. I broke down crying when an old Christmas song came on, TomBo asked me what was up, hugged me as I couldn't speak and I got sent back to the car. 
- in a way TomBo is emotionless, he doesn't know what to do when I'm upset as he can't make it better and I don't see the point in explaining as it's not within his comprehension. Sadly, he's not self-taught this side of life, like he has done with everything else.

Just have to get through the next few weeks.

MovingForwards

TomBo paid me today.
I've added some of it to savings, the float and car everything pot.
Paid a bit off the CC as that's stressing me out.
Paid some off the mortgage, taking off the bank rewards due next week I've only got to find about £318 to get it down to £60k.
I've got some leftover and will see where I'm at financially on the 23rd.

I've juggled my 2022 spreadsheet about a bit, potentially I can clear the CC by the end of February, which would be a huge weight off my shoulders; I really don't like carrying such a large balance on it.

In theory the car will be paid off by the end of June, longer than originally planned but 💩 happened outside my control.

Skint_yet_Again

Do you think Tombo may be on the autistic spectrum? You have mentioned it in the past if my memory is correct? At least he did hug you, my ex wouldn’t have done. Even before we split up he didn’t “believe in” cards and part way through my day he would say “I suppose I’d better go to the shop and get you something for your birthday” 🙁 I would end up telling him not to bother. 

Try not to stress about the credit card. It will soon be gone in the new year. Good luck with getting your mortgage below £60k

MovingForwards

Thanks Skinty
Yes, I definitely think he is, he does too. We've both done several online spectrum tests and the results show there's no doubt he is, I just can't get him to speak with the Dr about it.

He's self-taught how to rush and get the shopping done, can last about 30 minutes at a party, a couple of hours at a family gathering provided he gets lots of breaks as he switches on entertainer mode.

If he loses this job, I'm booking him an appointment and going with him as at least then he could claim P1P and not have the stress of working.

This is why I only budget on my income and I'm honestly surprised we've managed to stay together.

The one thing I wanted was a card, but I never got one. My day was over within 5 minutes of getting up, I can't fake happy and am going off to cry. No more cake days for me, they only ever flop.

savingwannabe

Bless you MF, he does love you. It is a bit of a man thing too they don't get it. You cry for a bit and then you dust yourself off and have a good day. Do things you want to do. Put the tree lights on, listen to nice music and watch a film or do something you want. The day will get better my lovely, when we are down we must remember the day will be brighter the sun will still shine and we will smile again. Sending my love. 

Skint_yet_Again

I am so sorry you are feeling sad. 😢

I am sending hugs and 🍾 and cake 🎂 and flowers 💐 😘

savingholmes

So sorry your day isn't going to plan. I wish we were closer to you - then we could surprise you with something...

MovingForwards

Thanks SW, Skinty and SH

I stopped crying long enough to wrap presents for his famil, afterwards I started again as I saw how much thought he had put into theirs. 

He could have bowed out of the gathering, after all what's gone on lately is a good enough reason; these are the family we see on a regular basis.

I needed an us day, to feel loved and wanted, but instead feel like I don't matter.

Another year passes and I won't try again to celebrate, I only get let down.

Skint_yet_Again

Have you told him how you feel? Perhaps you need to lay it out clearly for him. I can understand you feeling the way you do but if you don’t tell him maybe nothing will change. Did he know what you wanted? 

MovingForwards

I have Skinty, tried each Christmas and cake day and it's never just us.