Countdown from £28k...

alt80

@ryanm8655 You're doing brilliantly mate. I really admire your mindset and seeing the lifestyle you have / will have once out of debt will work well for you without further debt. End of the journey soon for you. Really glad you think your salary will be enough and work for you tbf I don't know London market at all but suspect for a 2 bed flat in a decent part of London you'll be paying more than my house is worth for it.

I 100 get the feeling crap about myself when I think about people doing better in business / bigger portfolio / 7 figure house etc. Know it's not rational when inherited wealth but I'm jealous of them not of their position (wouldn't we all like that?) but I want to compete at their level 100 and it's all on me that I'm not no one else to blame. Horrible place to be that I just can't shake.

Haha with you on eBay - so many chancers on there. Is this the same one asking questions and now not paid? I'd be careful sending it out - make sure it's recorded delivery or they'll claim it never arrived.

If you have a family just don't get involved with one like my wife who doesn't want a job lol and you'll be fine.  

ryanm8655

vixx_123 said:

I get you on the family front. I'm early thirties and I can't imagine supporting a family on my income (and working to pay childcare for someone else to look after my kid). I'm also a woman, and I know it's 2020 etc etc, but I do feel like the practical and emotional load falls unevenly on women. (Let's not get in to the fact that my relationship is on the rocks and he doesn't want kids).
I also compare my earnings against other people, although this is only fleeting for me as big house, nice car blah blah isn't for me. It's more that I value myself and my qualifications highly and I feel like I should be rewarded for such...however it's really a case of being over-degreed (PhD etc) rather than over-experienced. 

Sorry to hear about the relationship issues, that sucks. Though if you are on different pages re: kids then that’s a big deal. I was dating a really nice girl, great fun, great to spend time with, stunning, way out of my league to be honest ha but she was upfront very early on about not wanting kids. At the time that was a deal breaker for me so I didn’t pursue it any further. I kind of regret that now that I’m questioning whether I want them ha. I think you’re right re: practical and emotional load, especially if the other party didn’t really want kids. I have acquaintances who have always said they don’t want kids but when their gf left them over it, they’ve backtracked and given them a false hope. Noe they’re saying if she wants a kid then she has to do everything and he won’t be changing nappies etc. That’s just a recipe for resentment down the line, imo.

I know what you mean re: PHD, in my old job I was the only person in my team without one basically, I didn’t even have a masters. In central government you do get a few phds but where a lot of people come through the fast stream there are a lot more people with undergrads/masters. I’ve seen it work both ways, people with phds in grad level jobs basically and being underpaid for what they offer but because of the nature of arms lengths bodies/small government, there is no where to progress to (deadman’s shoes). In central government I’ve seen people with PHDs rise quickly and some come in at a high level in the first place. The old chief economist was an academic and came in as chief economist, for example. Also get you on comparing your worth, see a lot of people earning more who aren’t as bright or educated  and it makes me question my career choices ha. 

ryanm8655

alt80 said:

@ryanm8655 You're doing brilliantly mate. I really admire your mindset and seeing the lifestyle you have / will have once out of debt will work well for you without further debt. End of the journey soon for you. Really glad you think your salary will be enough and work for you tbf I don't know London market at all but suspect for a 2 bed flat in a decent part of London you'll be paying more than my house is worth for it.

I 100 get the feeling crap about myself when I think about people doing better in business / bigger portfolio / 7 figure house etc. Know it's not rational when inherited wealth but I'm jealous of them not of their position (wouldn't we all like that?) but I want to compete at their level 100 and it's all on me that I'm not no one else to blame. Horrible place to be that I just can't shake.

Haha with you on eBay - so many chancers on there. Is this the same one asking questions and now not paid? I'd be careful sending it out - make sure it's recorded delivery or they'll claim it never arrived.

If you have a family just don't get involved with one like my wife who doesn't want a job lol and you'll be fine.  

Yeah, I never want to be in debt again to be honest. Thankful for the journey but wouldn’t want to do it again. Sod that, haha.

Yeah, 2 beds can be a lot but not out of reach. A mate was buying a place in London Bridge for around the £600k mark. Really nice flat, views of the shard, 5 minutes to the station. The second bedroom was more of an office, granted. But that’s London Bridge. Of course, there are far pricier 2 beds around there. In a nice bit of London, reasonably central, you can get a 1 bed for £400k. Then there’s help to buy, shared ownership etc. Canada Water is 5 mins on tube to London Bridge but a lot cheaper. Battersea can be value (relatively speaking). First step for me is getting on the ladder, though. Need to think a couple of moves ahead rather than 10 and then get depressed about how far away I am from it ha.

That is part of the attraction of law though, not only would it be a job I think I’d excel at/enjoy a lot more but also the money would come with it. Buying a flat in a good area would take less of a struggle/sacrifice and eventually I probably could have the car, flat and lifestyle. But it’s feasible in current career too, to have nice things. Particularly if I could move towards an economic regulator, with better prospects/often better pay. There is also scope to move sideways to another government department and get a £6k rise, in the short term. Just need a plan. Longterm I could also move out of London and basically get the same pay, which would make the lifestyle far more comfortable, especially if I progressed. Not ready for that though in the next couple of steps and may never be to be honest. It’d probably take meeting someone and them
being keen. But if my priorities change then there are options.

Yeah, it’d be nice that’s for sure haha. But I’m learning it’s important to focus on what you can do to change things rather than looking at others and moping. You’ll get there, for sure. I do get your whole levels thing, when I first moved to London I thought earning what I do was the dream and life would be easy, you get there and realise it’s not what you thought, ha. But it’s a bit like knowledge, the more you know, the more you realise what you don’t know. Sometimes ignorance is bliss ha. You’re incredibly successful already and you’ll get to where you want to be once the mindset has clicked.

Yeah, I sent a payment reminder and they said they “accidentally made the offer and couldn’t cancel”. After being really awkward and asking me to take lots of pictures, trying to get me to open a sealed box to get pictures of the bottle etc. We all know the type haha. I was annoyed for a second and thought about writing a !!!!!! message back but thought better of it in the end and just cancelled. 

Haha, yeah. I must admit, if I earned loads but then had to compromise on the lifestyle I wanted because I was funding someone that didn’t work I’d probably harbour some inner resentment. But at the same time that was always the deal in your case.

vixx_123

I did the London thing as a student but it wasn't for me. I'm way less stressed in the SE. 
I've been with my husband since I was an undergrad, and you don't talk about wanting a family etc then. I also have to say I'm undecided, which makes the whole thing more difficult. There's a lot I could go into about what's happened recently but I won't as this is a debt free diary. Most of our joint debt came from when we bought our current house two years ago. Before that, my credit was near on perfect. At the minute, I'm concentrating on my own debt, not joint, as there's no point discussing money with him. I tried when we got a refund the other week just to test the waters saying oh maybe we should pay it to the debt and he retaliated with "well I've been in debt for 12 years", so there you have it. 
So I like reading the diaries, such as yours as you're so focussed on paying the debt down and thinking what you want for the future. 

enthusiasticsaver

ryanm8655 said:

alt80 said:

@ryanm8655 hadn't realised that was the case with pensions etc. Yeah £3.7k/m not a massive amount first thought is I don't think I could live on it but can't live on my income don't read too much into that. It shouldn't really be too bad for a single bloke outside London, tbh only a couple of my staff see that or more as take home so it should be more than liveable. Think you might struggle in London though imo?

Iswym re career / civil service. Seems to be as much about the job for you as the money? Tbh I do get that, I couldn't do your job I don't think money aside just wouldn't be right for me.

The job security definitely an upside. If my company isn't profit making I see next to nothing paying myself in the current way. Got the BTLs which I could take more sit back not worry about growth or PGs etc but not enough to offset income from main business. Iirc your uncle sees a bit more than I do - in an employed position I'd say that's a very precarious position to be in depending on the company / role etc. Can see why he lives in a new build and drives a 5 series to an extent especially if been stung before. I probably still wouldn't be able to control myself tbf but most people probably are a bit more reserved with their money lol.

Family hasn't made me sit back re business other stuff made me coast a bit over the last few years. I probably spent too long almost denying I even had a kid tbf though so hardly a glowing example but definitely trying to appreciate him and the Mrs a bit more she's not finding this easy either but doesn't have the addictive personality so can take or leave stuff a lot more readily than me. Grateful she's propping me up tbh I wouldn't prop me up if I were her I'd probably run a !!!!!! mile haha.

Can't imagine you're going to meet a girl who doesn't want to work in London, mine is bit of a 'special case' in that regard ha and son wouldn't have been too expensive at all without the school but suppose if Mrs had a job there'd be a similar amount in childcare.

To be honest I think £3.7k is fine to sustain the lifestyle of a single guy, I won't be able to buy a 911 willy nilly but to be honest, in London I don't even need a car. While I got myself in a lot of debt previously, I do think I could afford that lifestyle comfortably now, without the debt repayments and with the extra income. A lot of the debt accumulated when I was earning considerably less and I came to London with about £10k debt hanging over me. So from there it was a bit of a vicious cycle, although my tastes became more expensive I've always been paying a big chunk of my disposable income to debt. I probably spent about 3 years bouncing between £27-30k debt as I cleared cards down and spent on them again.

As a single bloke or even if I did meet someone I'd be quite happy with a nice 2 bed flat relatively central/in a decent spot of London. Even my well off friends live in flats (even if some of them are penthouse duplexes...). As I say, while I like cars and would love a 911 or something fun at some point, I accept I won't be able to afford a brand new one and also don't especially need a car in London. If I want a cool car I'll have to make sacrifices for it or earn more. I'd be able to afford a decent holiday and a few city breaks each year, particularly if I don't bother with a car. My main expense will probably be eating and drinking out and that's what makes me happiest to be honest, socialising. I'll be able to afford that. Things would be easier and more comfortable if I earned more, e.g. could save for a deposit, get a fun car and have the fun lifestyle but I'm kind of over that now. Being down about not being able to have it all would just drive me to overspending and debt again and it's not like I'd be living on rice and looking out of my window longingly. I'll be out most weekends no doubt. If I met someone to split the housing costs with and who earned similar to me (most girls I dated probably earned more ha) then I think I'd be pretty comfortable. I like my nice watches but if I didn't go out for a month then that's an Omega paid for cash (would never buy new anyway), not having a rolex isn't exactly a hardship and if one day I have cleared my mortgage/have more money/have a windfall then I can buy one then. My only concern money wise is if I met someone and wanted to have kids, my salary wouldn't be enough to sustain a family in London. But that may never happen anyway, ha.

To be honest I was never really terrible for purchases, I would buy clothes etc. without even thinking about the impact on my bank balance/debt at times but usually only when I needed something. Other than the odd ralph lauren shirt I'm quite happy with stuff from M&S and Charles Thyrwhitt, not fussed about the really high end stuff. Like nice shoes but again I usually go for VFM brands, like Loakes rather than Church's and won't need anything for a while. My big vice has always been the eating and the drinking. I would go on a few expensive holidays but it wasn't really about being flash, wasn't staying in high end resorts or anything, that's never been my bag. So I'm not too worried about lifestyle. I can't see myself being the party animal I used to be, going out 4/5 times a week as I wouldn't get away with it anymore and I have a bit more direction now.

I can understand the kid situation to be honest. And I guess that's my fear financially, it'd be nice to be comfortable enough to maintain the nice lifestyle with a child.

TBH the only time I feel crap about what I earn is when I think about people who earn more ha. I think half my problem with debt has been down to this aspiration to one day earn enough that I just automatically save, moving to a job where I get a bonus that's the size of a house deposit. All the while doing nothing to get to that, just having an assumption that I will at some point ha. But I'm beginning to appreciate that I can have a very nice life even if I do stick with the current career. It's difficult, that kick in the gut you feel when you hear someone earning X% more and getting huge bonuses (I'm guessing you get a similar feeling when you see people in your line of work with more property/the 7 figure house etc.). It does make me wish I'd made different career choices but then they'd have been riskier. I'm beginning to come around to this idea that there is no point in bemoaning the choices I made in the past, if I want to earn more money then I need to do something about my situation rather than just feel crap about it. If I want to be a home owner then I need to sacrifice and save. If I want a cool car then again I need to sacrifice and save. If I want to invest in property or whatever else then again I need to sacrifice and save to do that. Then reap the rewards later. If I choose to spend my money on material things or don't choose to apply myself in my career because I'm down about the fact I'll never have a ferrari no matter how hard I work, then I can't moan about people earning more than me, or having a bigger house than me, or having a bigger property portfolio...I need to sacrifice one way or another to get there.

I'm sure I'll have those feeling !!!!!! moments again but this journey has definitely changed my mindset in a lot of ways.

Can't believe how quickly the weeks are going. Payday feels like yesterday and I'm only a couple of weeks off of another.

On the debt front, I've cleared another £46 from Virgin (DD) and I've closed the Natwest altogether (have Barclaycard still open just for the credit utilisation score to be lower). Today is credit card statement day and it is sub £300, the lowest ever. Payment doesn't come out until the end of the month but means I should be able to clear all my debt on pay day. I've also sold another fragrance (though they haven't paid yet - ebay).

What a great way to end the year. I have been so impressed with your focus and determination and with your change in mindset over the last year. You know what's important now and are responsible with money so I am sure with the higher income and no unsecured debt you will live comfortably in London even though it is expensive. You still have goals and like to spend but it is within your means and you know the value of the things you buy. I am sure you are itching to get back to living in your own place too. 

ryanm8655

enthusiasticsaver said:

ryanm8655 said:

alt80 said:

@ryanm8655 hadn't realised that was the case with pensions etc. Yeah £3.7k/m not a massive amount first thought is I don't think I could live on it but can't live on my income don't read too much into that. It shouldn't really be too bad for a single bloke outside London, tbh only a couple of my staff see that or more as take home so it should be more than liveable. Think you might struggle in London though imo?

Iswym re career / civil service. Seems to be as much about the job for you as the money? Tbh I do get that, I couldn't do your job I don't think money aside just wouldn't be right for me.

The job security definitely an upside. If my company isn't profit making I see next to nothing paying myself in the current way. Got the BTLs which I could take more sit back not worry about growth or PGs etc but not enough to offset income from main business. Iirc your uncle sees a bit more than I do - in an employed position I'd say that's a very precarious position to be in depending on the company / role etc. Can see why he lives in a new build and drives a 5 series to an extent especially if been stung before. I probably still wouldn't be able to control myself tbf but most people probably are a bit more reserved with their money lol.

Family hasn't made me sit back re business other stuff made me coast a bit over the last few years. I probably spent too long almost denying I even had a kid tbf though so hardly a glowing example but definitely trying to appreciate him and the Mrs a bit more she's not finding this easy either but doesn't have the addictive personality so can take or leave stuff a lot more readily than me. Grateful she's propping me up tbh I wouldn't prop me up if I were her I'd probably run a !!!!!! mile haha.

Can't imagine you're going to meet a girl who doesn't want to work in London, mine is bit of a 'special case' in that regard ha and son wouldn't have been too expensive at all without the school but suppose if Mrs had a job there'd be a similar amount in childcare.

To be honest I think £3.7k is fine to sustain the lifestyle of a single guy, I won't be able to buy a 911 willy nilly but to be honest, in London I don't even need a car. While I got myself in a lot of debt previously, I do think I could afford that lifestyle comfortably now, without the debt repayments and with the extra income. A lot of the debt accumulated when I was earning considerably less and I came to London with about £10k debt hanging over me. So from there it was a bit of a vicious cycle, although my tastes became more expensive I've always been paying a big chunk of my disposable income to debt. I probably spent about 3 years bouncing between £27-30k debt as I cleared cards down and spent on them again.

As a single bloke or even if I did meet someone I'd be quite happy with a nice 2 bed flat relatively central/in a decent spot of London. Even my well off friends live in flats (even if some of them are penthouse duplexes...). As I say, while I like cars and would love a 911 or something fun at some point, I accept I won't be able to afford a brand new one and also don't especially need a car in London. If I want a cool car I'll have to make sacrifices for it or earn more. I'd be able to afford a decent holiday and a few city breaks each year, particularly if I don't bother with a car. My main expense will probably be eating and drinking out and that's what makes me happiest to be honest, socialising. I'll be able to afford that. Things would be easier and more comfortable if I earned more, e.g. could save for a deposit, get a fun car and have the fun lifestyle but I'm kind of over that now. Being down about not being able to have it all would just drive me to overspending and debt again and it's not like I'd be living on rice and looking out of my window longingly. I'll be out most weekends no doubt. If I met someone to split the housing costs with and who earned similar to me (most girls I dated probably earned more ha) then I think I'd be pretty comfortable. I like my nice watches but if I didn't go out for a month then that's an Omega paid for cash (would never buy new anyway), not having a rolex isn't exactly a hardship and if one day I have cleared my mortgage/have more money/have a windfall then I can buy one then. My only concern money wise is if I met someone and wanted to have kids, my salary wouldn't be enough to sustain a family in London. But that may never happen anyway, ha.

To be honest I was never really terrible for purchases, I would buy clothes etc. without even thinking about the impact on my bank balance/debt at times but usually only when I needed something. Other than the odd ralph lauren shirt I'm quite happy with stuff from M&S and Charles Thyrwhitt, not fussed about the really high end stuff. Like nice shoes but again I usually go for VFM brands, like Loakes rather than Church's and won't need anything for a while. My big vice has always been the eating and the drinking. I would go on a few expensive holidays but it wasn't really about being flash, wasn't staying in high end resorts or anything, that's never been my bag. So I'm not too worried about lifestyle. I can't see myself being the party animal I used to be, going out 4/5 times a week as I wouldn't get away with it anymore and I have a bit more direction now.

I can understand the kid situation to be honest. And I guess that's my fear financially, it'd be nice to be comfortable enough to maintain the nice lifestyle with a child.

TBH the only time I feel crap about what I earn is when I think about people who earn more ha. I think half my problem with debt has been down to this aspiration to one day earn enough that I just automatically save, moving to a job where I get a bonus that's the size of a house deposit. All the while doing nothing to get to that, just having an assumption that I will at some point ha. But I'm beginning to appreciate that I can have a very nice life even if I do stick with the current career. It's difficult, that kick in the gut you feel when you hear someone earning X% more and getting huge bonuses (I'm guessing you get a similar feeling when you see people in your line of work with more property/the 7 figure house etc.). It does make me wish I'd made different career choices but then they'd have been riskier. I'm beginning to come around to this idea that there is no point in bemoaning the choices I made in the past, if I want to earn more money then I need to do something about my situation rather than just feel crap about it. If I want to be a home owner then I need to sacrifice and save. If I want a cool car then again I need to sacrifice and save. If I want to invest in property or whatever else then again I need to sacrifice and save to do that. Then reap the rewards later. If I choose to spend my money on material things or don't choose to apply myself in my career because I'm down about the fact I'll never have a ferrari no matter how hard I work, then I can't moan about people earning more than me, or having a bigger house than me, or having a bigger property portfolio...I need to sacrifice one way or another to get there.

I'm sure I'll have those feeling !!!!!! moments again but this journey has definitely changed my mindset in a lot of ways.

Can't believe how quickly the weeks are going. Payday feels like yesterday and I'm only a couple of weeks off of another.

On the debt front, I've cleared another £46 from Virgin (DD) and I've closed the Natwest altogether (have Barclaycard still open just for the credit utilisation score to be lower). Today is credit card statement day and it is sub £300, the lowest ever. Payment doesn't come out until the end of the month but means I should be able to clear all my debt on pay day. I've also sold another fragrance (though they haven't paid yet - ebay).

What a great way to end the year. I have been so impressed with your focus and determination and with your change in mindset over the last year. You know what's important now and are responsible with money so I am sure with the higher income and no unsecured debt you will live comfortably in London even though it is expensive. You still have goals and like to spend but it is within your means and you know the value of the things you buy. I am sure you are itching to get back to living in your own place too. 

vixx_123 said:

I did the London thing as a student but it wasn't for me. I'm way less stressed in the SE. 
I've been with my husband since I was an undergrad, and you don't talk about wanting a family etc then. I also have to say I'm undecided, which makes the whole thing more difficult. There's a lot I could go into about what's happened recently but I won't as this is a debt free diary. Most of our joint debt came from when we bought our current house two years ago. Before that, my credit was near on perfect. At the minute, I'm concentrating on my own debt, not joint, as there's no point discussing money with him. I tried when we got a refund the other week just to test the waters saying oh maybe we should pay it to the debt and he retaliated with "well I've been in debt for 12 years", so there you have it. 
So I like reading the diaries, such as yours as you're so focussed on paying the debt down and thinking what you want for the future. 

That’s true. That does sound frustrating but I can also understand how your husband feels on the debt front. For a longtime I was resigned to a life of debt and never being a homeowner etc. It was depressing and just made me think “what’s the point” when it came to doing anything about it, so I carried on until the credit started to run out and I was forced to live within those means. Though I didn’t have anyone to drag down with me (did date but always had the debt in the back of my mind and do wonder if that’s why I tended to cut things off, I wasn’t ready to be accountable for my actions). I’m sure he would be a different person without the debt weighing over him but making that first step is the toughest. That’s why I never want to go back there again. As I say, it’s been a journey I don’t regret as I’ve learned a lot and needed to go through it to learn the lessons I have but it’s not been easy (I speak like it’s over ha). But at least you are sorting your own finances out and hopefully he sorts his. Must be so frustrating for you and can only make your own journey tougher.

While I’m unsure about kids right now, I reckon I’ll come around to the idea again in the future, maybe 5 years when my life is in a better place and I’ve lived without debt for a while and had time to breathe.

Hope you can work things out.

ryanm8655

enthusiasticsaver said:

ryanm8655 said:

alt80 said:

@ryanm8655 hadn't realised that was the case with pensions etc. Yeah £3.7k/m not a massive amount first thought is I don't think I could live on it but can't live on my income don't read too much into that. It shouldn't really be too bad for a single bloke outside London, tbh only a couple of my staff see that or more as take home so it should be more than liveable. Think you might struggle in London though imo?

Iswym re career / civil service. Seems to be as much about the job for you as the money? Tbh I do get that, I couldn't do your job I don't think money aside just wouldn't be right for me.

The job security definitely an upside. If my company isn't profit making I see next to nothing paying myself in the current way. Got the BTLs which I could take more sit back not worry about growth or PGs etc but not enough to offset income from main business. Iirc your uncle sees a bit more than I do - in an employed position I'd say that's a very precarious position to be in depending on the company / role etc. Can see why he lives in a new build and drives a 5 series to an extent especially if been stung before. I probably still wouldn't be able to control myself tbf but most people probably are a bit more reserved with their money lol.

Family hasn't made me sit back re business other stuff made me coast a bit over the last few years. I probably spent too long almost denying I even had a kid tbf though so hardly a glowing example but definitely trying to appreciate him and the Mrs a bit more she's not finding this easy either but doesn't have the addictive personality so can take or leave stuff a lot more readily than me. Grateful she's propping me up tbh I wouldn't prop me up if I were her I'd probably run a !!!!!! mile haha.

Can't imagine you're going to meet a girl who doesn't want to work in London, mine is bit of a 'special case' in that regard ha and son wouldn't have been too expensive at all without the school but suppose if Mrs had a job there'd be a similar amount in childcare.

To be honest I think £3.7k is fine to sustain the lifestyle of a single guy, I won't be able to buy a 911 willy nilly but to be honest, in London I don't even need a car. While I got myself in a lot of debt previously, I do think I could afford that lifestyle comfortably now, without the debt repayments and with the extra income. A lot of the debt accumulated when I was earning considerably less and I came to London with about £10k debt hanging over me. So from there it was a bit of a vicious cycle, although my tastes became more expensive I've always been paying a big chunk of my disposable income to debt. I probably spent about 3 years bouncing between £27-30k debt as I cleared cards down and spent on them again.

As a single bloke or even if I did meet someone I'd be quite happy with a nice 2 bed flat relatively central/in a decent spot of London. Even my well off friends live in flats (even if some of them are penthouse duplexes...). As I say, while I like cars and would love a 911 or something fun at some point, I accept I won't be able to afford a brand new one and also don't especially need a car in London. If I want a cool car I'll have to make sacrifices for it or earn more. I'd be able to afford a decent holiday and a few city breaks each year, particularly if I don't bother with a car. My main expense will probably be eating and drinking out and that's what makes me happiest to be honest, socialising. I'll be able to afford that. Things would be easier and more comfortable if I earned more, e.g. could save for a deposit, get a fun car and have the fun lifestyle but I'm kind of over that now. Being down about not being able to have it all would just drive me to overspending and debt again and it's not like I'd be living on rice and looking out of my window longingly. I'll be out most weekends no doubt. If I met someone to split the housing costs with and who earned similar to me (most girls I dated probably earned more ha) then I think I'd be pretty comfortable. I like my nice watches but if I didn't go out for a month then that's an Omega paid for cash (would never buy new anyway), not having a rolex isn't exactly a hardship and if one day I have cleared my mortgage/have more money/have a windfall then I can buy one then. My only concern money wise is if I met someone and wanted to have kids, my salary wouldn't be enough to sustain a family in London. But that may never happen anyway, ha.

To be honest I was never really terrible for purchases, I would buy clothes etc. without even thinking about the impact on my bank balance/debt at times but usually only when I needed something. Other than the odd ralph lauren shirt I'm quite happy with stuff from M&S and Charles Thyrwhitt, not fussed about the really high end stuff. Like nice shoes but again I usually go for VFM brands, like Loakes rather than Church's and won't need anything for a while. My big vice has always been the eating and the drinking. I would go on a few expensive holidays but it wasn't really about being flash, wasn't staying in high end resorts or anything, that's never been my bag. So I'm not too worried about lifestyle. I can't see myself being the party animal I used to be, going out 4/5 times a week as I wouldn't get away with it anymore and I have a bit more direction now.

I can understand the kid situation to be honest. And I guess that's my fear financially, it'd be nice to be comfortable enough to maintain the nice lifestyle with a child.

TBH the only time I feel crap about what I earn is when I think about people who earn more ha. I think half my problem with debt has been down to this aspiration to one day earn enough that I just automatically save, moving to a job where I get a bonus that's the size of a house deposit. All the while doing nothing to get to that, just having an assumption that I will at some point ha. But I'm beginning to appreciate that I can have a very nice life even if I do stick with the current career. It's difficult, that kick in the gut you feel when you hear someone earning X% more and getting huge bonuses (I'm guessing you get a similar feeling when you see people in your line of work with more property/the 7 figure house etc.). It does make me wish I'd made different career choices but then they'd have been riskier. I'm beginning to come around to this idea that there is no point in bemoaning the choices I made in the past, if I want to earn more money then I need to do something about my situation rather than just feel crap about it. If I want to be a home owner then I need to sacrifice and save. If I want a cool car then again I need to sacrifice and save. If I want to invest in property or whatever else then again I need to sacrifice and save to do that. Then reap the rewards later. If I choose to spend my money on material things or don't choose to apply myself in my career because I'm down about the fact I'll never have a ferrari no matter how hard I work, then I can't moan about people earning more than me, or having a bigger house than me, or having a bigger property portfolio...I need to sacrifice one way or another to get there.

I'm sure I'll have those feeling !!!!!! moments again but this journey has definitely changed my mindset in a lot of ways.

Can't believe how quickly the weeks are going. Payday feels like yesterday and I'm only a couple of weeks off of another.

On the debt front, I've cleared another £46 from Virgin (DD) and I've closed the Natwest altogether (have Barclaycard still open just for the credit utilisation score to be lower). Today is credit card statement day and it is sub £300, the lowest ever. Payment doesn't come out until the end of the month but means I should be able to clear all my debt on pay day. I've also sold another fragrance (though they haven't paid yet - ebay).

What a great way to end the year. I have been so impressed with your focus and determination and with your change in mindset over the last year. You know what's important now and are responsible with money so I am sure with the higher income and no unsecured debt you will live comfortably in London even though it is expensive. You still have goals and like to spend but it is within your means and you know the value of the things you buy. I am sure you are itching to get back to living in your own place too. 

Yeah, that’s exactly it. Knowing what’s important and that you can have the things you want, just not all of them. It helps that goals are more achievable now, e.g. a flat. Previously being debt free seemed an impossible dream, let alone buying a place for myself. When you’re in that situation you tend to think !!!!!! it and think nothing of spending a couple of thousand on a watch on the credit card or getting a nice car on finance, because no other goals seem attainable. All the while only serving to dig yourself a deeper hole, while hoping for a miracle to save you. I now truly understand the opportunity cost of that kind of spending. 

Definitely looking forward to my own place but also thinking about next steps. Would be nice to max out my LISA allowance by April and that would be a good start to the deposit journey. Will review at the end of the year and think seriously about next steps. But if I could hang on a while longer I could have a nice start on the deposit and then move in February/March. Then the next goal would be a conservative £10k in the LISA by April 2022, while having my own place (rented) and living a little too.

In the short term though, continue working hard at work, get this last bit of debt gone, get through Christmas and see what I have left out of the pay check. Then review on New Year’s Day.

I’ll need about £3k saved to move, which I should have by the end of January. If I could wait until end of February then that would be £2.5k towards maxing the LISA. If I sell my car then that should more than get me there (should get at least £1500 for it).

alt80

I know what you mean about not wanting to be in debt again. Definitely would have made different choices myself with hindsight - no card debts, 1 car at a time on finance, limit the PGs and 100 not took the development block on lol. Going to have to muddle through and hopefully learn something haha. Genuinely think you’re going to smash your life goals now.

Getting on the ladder is definitely your first step - if you go down the HTB / SO options make sure you know exactly what you’re getting into. Happy to help anytime.

Been there myself thinking if I earn £x I’ll have it made. My aim was £5k/m net when I started in business literally thought that was going to get me anything I wanted lol surpassed that by a fair way and still not enough now just obsess about needing to see £10k/m net, ideally £15k chase doesn’t stop just bigger numbers and the government robbing more.

Not had anything silly happen on ebay whilst selling current lot of items but plenty of times before - both wife and I expecting it soon. You’ll sell to someone else. I get angry and shouldn’t not worth it you’ve got the right attitude. 

Wife/ kids can’t believe you dumped someone way out of your league because she DIDN’T want kids mate. That would have been the dream for me fit, young, driven and no kids haha. Tbf would have been bad for each other most likely. If you want a family you’ll be able to find a load of fit girls in their early 20s, not too much baggage most of them want kids just find one who wants to work then happy days. 

warby68

And so the finishing line for this phase of your life is now in sight and the next phase about to start.
I hope you'll keep posting.
Yours is such a positive story and not at all about saintly frugality but about getting the balance right for a good life.
I love the way you own the situation, blame noone else and have got to know yourself really well. I think the family will miss you even if you are all glad to reclaim some space.
Hopefully the career choices will become clearer once you are back living where you want to be and can decide more easily if you want to take the 'backward' financial step of the early stages of career change. 

ryanm8655

@alt80 haha, in fairness it was probably an excuse not to commit, was peak debt around then and also having a lot of fun. Plus still had the scars of the crazy ex from not too long before haha.

@warby68 will definitely stick around. As you say, for me it’s about balance and I’m never going to be a proper penny pincher although I honestly never thought I’d be debt free 15 months ago, so you never know But I’ve found this diary invaluable and the experiences and support of others too. So will keep it going for the next phase.

Yeah, will see what happens re: career. Genuinely a bit torn but leaning towards stick with what I’m doing and work my butt off/have a plan for progressing. Part of my issue is lack of belief and I feel enlightened on that front at the moment. It feels like anything is possible career wise, if I work to get it.

Family wound me up today ha, so I ended up disappearing and going for a drive around the forest/chilling by the sea. Think I just needed some space. It was a relatively small thing that made a switch flip but think it was an accumulation. The relief I felt being on my own in the car...can’t wait to have my space and independence again.

Been making a real effort to help out around the house for the past couple of weeks, despite working long hours. Been helping prep dinner, even cooking the odd dinner. Always do the washing up afterwards. Doing housework on weekends (hoovering, cleaning surfaces etc.). Been buying shopping again. Even did the ironing today. But just felt a lack of appreciation and heard one relative saying how they’re fed up of doing everything around the house and other little digs. It was kind of killing my positivity. Then after dinner, desert was dished up. The adults had their size portion and the kids a smaller one. In the build up one of the kids was being a brat. Then I go to sit down to eat (as I was tidying/washing up at the time) and the brat child has swapped my desert for theirs and not been told off. Just found it really disrespectful and didn’t understand why they weren’t told off for it. Especially when they’re the least deserving of the three kids. So I ate what I had quickly, finished washing up/tidying, finished the ironing and left.

Probably a bit over sensitive of me but it’ll be much nicer to have a bit of distance between me and the dynamic so that I don’t get wound up by it when I visit in future.

Everyone is having a tough time with the health issues etc. So I feel bad for moaning but just felt like a bit of a doormat today. One of the things that puts me off of kids