Aspergers/ASD support thread

Strapped

moo842 wrote: »

hi i hope you don't mind me popping in, but i need some help!
My son is 7, and we were first told of his suspected ASD by a health visitor 5 years ago. In june he was finally formally diagnosed. So it's been a long battle of is he isn't he. the main reason for this is his angel like behaviour at school. but anyway we are there now!
Now I'm a broken woman, they've taken eveything i have. I've never asked for help, we've worked our way through it all, and beleive me it hasn't been esay (well i'm sure you all understand that). But now i've had enough, i have two other children as well.
But i just can't get him to school anymore, he doesn't want to go, and refuses to walk, sometimes he just shouts, sometimes he just lies down and won't move, sometimes he is violent to me and his 5 year old brother.
So i contacted the LA and asked for help with transport, i know we don't live far (3/4 of a mile) so applied under him having special needs.
i got a letter this morning to say that they won't help as we don't live far enough away, and if we want to appeal we can do showing extenuating sp? circumstances, what the hell do they want i put in all his letters from the consultant, and a two A4 page letterfrom myself detailing a specific walk to school. I need this help so much but just have no fight left!
Sorry if it's jumbled but i'm sat here crying my heart out, should i just stop taking him??
The school is no help, theey don't accept his autism and think that i just can't control him!

You could also apply for DLA which would give you funds to help toward the cost of taxi/pushchair/a.n.other solution.

Js_Other_Half

softwaremad wrote: »

Don't despair mrs moo - they are legally obliged to provide transport for all children with special needs

Unfortunately not true, but a letter from a social worker goes a long way in getting them to do it!

TheEffect

I've been reading this thread and find some of the responses very interesting. I'm a support teacher/assistant for a secondary school and work with a variety of children, including some with aspergers.

One of the year 7's are finding it really hard to accept the change of schedule now they're in secondary school. We do all we can to help them settle in and keep things simple, but unfortunately there is a lot of changes for the first year, whether it be classes, sets, subjects, friends or even the food sold at the canteen.

Strapped

TheEffect wrote: »

I've been reading this thread and find some of the responses very interesting. I'm a support teacher/assistant for a secondary school and work with a variety of children, including some with aspergers.

One of the year 7's are finding it really hard to accept the change of schedule now they're in secondary school. We do all we can to help them settle in and keep things simple, but unfortunately there is a lot of changes for the first year, whether it be classes, sets, subjects, friends or even the food sold at the canteen.

What sort of things do you do?

softwaremad

Js_Other_Half wrote: »

Unfortunately not true, but a letter from a social worker goes a long way in getting them to do it!

you are right - i know my local lea does provide transport for all special needs however after reading the sen cod i realise it is not a legal binding for them to do so- sorry about thatx

moo842

thanks guys, sorry i'vr taken so ong to respond but it's all just too much. i'm going to try parent partnership and see if they can help, and also have an appt with my gp, his consultant, and the school nurse who has been my rock, i'm hoping that they will all support me and write to the appeals board for me, i'm just gonna throw as much at them as i can, with the desperate hope that they may ralise we really need there help!

Mandles

I am having trouble with my DD's school. She does not have anything wrong with her but has a very hard time as she shares a room with my aspie lad and gets quite run down with it all. She is the one often ill and i wonder if she gets run down more than my other child as he has his own room and she shares with my little nightmare;).

Anyway, i have just had a holiday in school time for a week as my OH works in the school holiday in schools and this is his main work time in the school summer hols.

So my question is that, Are my "non aspie" kids entitled to a respite holiday legally? All sounds drastic but the school are really being funny about it and they have sent her home for being ill most of the time!

Savvy_Sue

I wouldn't say your non-aspie kids are LEGALLY entitled to a respite holiday, BUT as a family you are entitled to ask Social Services to assess your needs and to consider whether respite is necessary, ie your aspie child being taken out / staying elsewhere sometimes. It will be a fight to get it, but you are entitled!

How old are they all? Is it rented or your own home? If rented, is it a private or social landlord? I'm wondering what help you could be given to enable DD to have her own room.

Mandles

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I wouldn't say your non-aspie kids are LEGALLY entitled to a respite holiday, BUT as a family you are entitled to ask Social Services to assess your needs and to consider whether respite is necessary, ie your aspie child being taken out / staying elsewhere sometimes. It will be a fight to get it, but you are entitled!

How old are they all? Is it rented or your own home? If rented, is it a private or social landlord? I'm wondering what help you could be given to enable DD to have her own room.

We rent and dd has to share a room with my lad who may often wake in the night and wake at the crack of dawn, turn the light on and start leaping on her bed or talking to her.There are 5 of us altogether and it is a 3 bedroomed house. I have 2 teens at school and my little lad who is the one who is nearly 5 . I really feel sorry for dd as she usually gets the brunt of his behaviour thus the reason why i felt she in particular needed this holiday.

Mandles

moo842 wrote: »

hi i hope you don't mind me popping in, but i need some help!
My son is 7, and we were first told of his suspected ASD by a health visitor 5 years ago. In june he was finally formally diagnosed. So it's been a long battle of is he isn't he. the main reason for this is his angel like behaviour at school. but anyway we are there now!
Now I'm a broken woman, they've taken eveything i have. I've never asked for help, we've worked our way through it all, and beleive me it hasn't been esay (well i'm sure you all understand that). But now i've had enough, i have two other children as well.
But i just can't get him to school anymore, he doesn't want to go, and refuses to walk, sometimes he just shouts, sometimes he just lies down and won't move, sometimes he is violent to me and his 5 year old brother.
So i contacted the LA and asked for help with transport, i know we don't live far (3/4 of a mile) so applied under him having special needs.
i got a letter this morning to say that they won't help as we don't live far enough away, and if we want to appeal we can do showing extenuating sp? circumstances, what the hell do they want i put in all his letters from the consultant, and a two A4 page letterfrom myself detailing a specific walk to school. I need this help so much but just have no fight left!
Sorry if it's jumbled but i'm sat here crying my heart out, should i just stop taking him??
The school is no help, theey don't accept his autism and think that i just can't control him!

They (organisations that are supposed to help you) often may try to get out of it at first if they can. So i would just always expect to appeal if i were you.My very autistic niece went to a life skills collecge where she learns to do things like buy shopping , run a home and things like that . Her dad applied for a bus to pick her up and take her there as the college was very far away and they said," no, she will have to catch the train!!!"...she could not even make a cup of tea, let alone catch a train!!
Anyway, he appealed and she got the bus. So don't fret, they just don't want to spend any money.Just appeal and stuff what the school think.

Your son has an official diagnosis from a professional who knows more than teachers about ASD so don't let it get to you.

I had a similar experienece with my "normal" child. I physically had to carry her into the school office screamng. She used to grab the steering wheel of the car to anchor herself. She grabbed door handles in the school as i dragged her past screaming and crying. She was about 9 at the time too and it went on again later at her next school.
I am sure that she would have been better if someone else took her in like my OH did sometimes.They often are worse with mum so maybe this is an idea.Also she got a chocolate bar after school if she went in calmly and we tried to ditract her from thinking about school too much.Or a special treat if she made 3 days ok like the cinema at the weekend and then made it have to be 4 days for a weekend treat and so on.

Also the school need to address this. With my DD instead of the classroom i took her to the office where she sat there, read or helped with little jobs with them until she felt ready to go in to her class. This helped sort it.
It must be very hard for a child with ASD to just arrive in a very noisy playground with a lot of activity going on..talk about starting the day badly!

So persevere with appealing and if you can see his dr again and get someone like that to write a recommendation(gives it more clout). Also go see the headteacher armed with his diagnosis and maybe video him on your phone showing what he is like at home/going to school. The head was surprisingly fantastic at my DD school.And most importantly do something to spoil yourself that you can maybe get away for a weekend/day or evening and have a break from it all as i know how bad it can get you. I felt pathetic and cried so much every day for a long time.
You are a good mum so don't forget it!