Aspergers/ASD support thread

Savvy_Sue

Mandles wrote: »

We rent and dd has to share a room with my lad who may often wake in the night and wake at the crack of dawn, turn the light on and start leaping on her bed or talking to her.There are 5 of us altogether and it is a 3 bedroomed house. I have 2 teens at school and my little lad who is the one who is nearly 5 . I really feel sorry for dd as she usually gets the brunt of his behaviour thus the reason why i felt she in particular needed this holiday.

I know it's not easy, but are you on the council housing list? You should get extra priority for a 4 bed house because of your DS, although you're not technically overcrowded - would your DS be better in with the other teen? Is there any scope for creating an extra bedroom, eg (decent) bed settee or folding bed?

I really would recommend talking to Social Services about this because you do have additional needs within the family.

Mandles wrote: »

You are a good mum so don't forget it!

Yup, should have said that!

All together now: "I am doing a good job!"

wornoutmumoftwo

Little update: My 7 year old is still not behaving at school, (split placement half mainstream/half special), had a meeting with the special school and explained what was happening and they are going into the mainstream on the 20th to see what he's up to and to try and put in place something to settle him. (he's in primary 2).

Also, just had my letter about his ASD assessment (first appointment) and I just wondered how it all works, i know they've writtten to the speech therapist and she told me to expect this appointment but not sure what happens beyond this.

THanks very much

blue_monkey_2

WOMOT - Inn regards to the appointments, in our area it is hit and miss, I am still waiting for appointments for the SP a year after I was told another appointment is coming. The whole thing is really frustrating and no-one seems to talk to another and so it goes round and round. We are on our 6th consultant now. On the last appointment, sick of saying the same stuff over and over I did not tell them everything, assuming that they would go back to the old notes, and the 6 page report I usually get turned into one page with hardly any problems. And the 6 month appointment they promised me was scribbled out and 1 yr written underneath.

With all due respect, please do not go in thinking that you will get answers as often it does not happen like that, think of it as stages. I really wish I had known this as I was so disappointed. 2 years on and I feel we are no further forward then that we are now.

Oh, and the 'angel' of a child that they constantly tell me I have has today been spitting and calling one of the other kids bad names (names that he can only have got from school as it is not something we use). My husband collected today so it was a bit vague. Apparently the PE teacher has put in a complaint about him (whatever that means). And do you think it was written in the home/school book? Was it hell as like. If they write in it I might be able to do something but there was nothing in there. And the appointments to sort the IEP are happening on parents evening - which is in front of the other parents!!

wornoutmumoftwo

Thank you blue_monkey, sounds like you're going through it too. I'm taking it all in my stride as I am very fortunate in that my son gets all the support he needs, regardless of the fact he hasn't been officially diagnosed yet.

Our appointment is at 9.30 on the 16th, looks as if they'll have a chat with us and will take DS for some sort of assessment, then it says they'll give me feedback at a later date.

I'm prepared for whatever the answer is, I love him for who he is. The thing that is upsetting me the most is his refusal to join in with his mainstream class but then again, the two schools work closely together and my son's psychologist is attached to both his mainstream and special school so he knows my son's history quite well.

Strapped

blue_monkey wrote: »

WOMOT - Inn regards to the appointments, in our area it is hit and miss, I am still waiting for appointments for the SP a year after I was told another appointment is coming. The whole thing is really frustrating and no-one seems to talk to another and so it goes round and round. We are on our 6th consultant now. On the last appointment, sick of saying the same stuff over and over I did not tell them everything, assuming that they would go back to the old notes, and the 6 page report I usually get turned into one page with hardly any problems. And the 6 month appointment they promised me was scribbled out and 1 yr written underneath.

With all due respect, please do not go in thinking that you will get answers as often it does not happen like that, think of it as stages. I really wish I had known this as I was so disappointed. 2 years on and I feel we are no further forward then that we are now.

Oh, and the 'angel' of a child that they constantly tell me I have has today been spitting and calling one of the other kids bad names (names that he can only have got from school as it is not something we use). My husband collected today so it was a bit vague. Apparently the PE teacher has put in a complaint about him (whatever that means). And do you think it was written in the home/school book? Was it hell as like. If they write in it I might be able to do something but there was nothing in there. And the appointments to sort the IEP are happening on parents evening - which is in front of the other parents!!

I can relate to the bit about the home/school book. Drives me mad.

softwaremad

well you will get an appointment to see each specialist and they will make assessments - and offer you help if needed i.e. speech therapy occupational therapy. it's nothing to worry about though

blue_monkey_2

Strapped wrote: »

I can relate to the bit about the home/school book. Drives me mad.

In an insane way I am pleased to know I am not alone. It makes me :mad::mad::mad: but I am going to continue filling it in so I can chuck i in their faces at a later date when they haul me in for his behaviour.

I want to know what the complaint from the PE teacher (who has been bought in externally) is about. I know that my son does not use bad words at home so maybe they need to listen to what the kids are saying at school ans knock it on the head. The problem is that my son hears them being said by other kids, he repeats them and because he is very loud he is overheard and then gets in trouble. THAT is what drives me mad. :mad:

softwaremad

blue_monkey wrote: »

In an insane way I am pleased to know I am not alone. It makes me :mad::mad::mad: but I am going to continue filling it in so I can chuck i in their faces at a later date when they haul me in for his behaviour.

I want to know what the complaint from the PE teacher (who has been bought in externally) is about. I know that my son does not use bad words at home so maybe they need to listen to what the kids are saying at school ans knock it on the head. The problem is that my son hears them being said by other kids, he repeats them and because he is very loud he is overheard and then gets in trouble. THAT is what drives me mad. :mad:

Please try and remember that the teachers in main stream school are not trained to deal with special needs children - yes they teach in a class that has special needs children in attendance - but these people have no empathy or understanding in most instances - its a job to them not a vocation - that is like it used to be back in the day when teachers cared about the kids they taught. I think there is such a lack of respect in civilised society today due to those few parents who dont care what their kids are up to or teach them in the world (as they are mostly thick as planks too!).
Its a short straw that unfortunately as parents of children who need people to care and to push them to attain the education that they are entitled too at times its a tough battle!

Savvy_Sue

If the IEP appointment is the same night as parents evening, I would be asking for an assurance that it will be private and NOT in front of other parents.

At primary, it was always one parent, one teacher, one classroom, I found secondary parents evenings very difficult because there were always several teachers in each classroom so a) no privacy and b) lots of background noise, so very difficult to hear!

blue_monkey_2

Sue, I overheard her telling another mum yesterday that the IEP would be done at parents night and parents night is held in the hall with other parents sitting at the side - within earshot - of the parents talking. Not everyone is nosy but if someone overhears then of course they will listen. It is human nature.

I've decided that I am just going to say that 'now is not the place for that'.