Aspergers/ASD support thread

Savvy_Sue

blue_monkey wrote: »

Sue, I overheard her telling another mum yesterday that the IEP would be done at parents night and parents night is held in the hall with other parents sitting at the side - within earshot - of the parents talking. Not everyone is nosy but if someone overhears then of course they will listen. It is human nature.

I've decided that I am just going to say that 'now is not the place for that'.

Please don't think I'm being picky, but I would say "HERE is not the place for that." Whether "now is the time for that" is a quite separate issue, I don't think I would mind it happening on the same night as parents evening, BUT I would have very strong objections to it taking place in the hall or anywhere that wasn't private.

One of the 'issues' I had with DS3's class teacher was her completely inappropriate disclosure of the ritalin status of someone else's child! Sure, I was a volunteer reading helper, but not in her class, sure I was on the PTA but that didn't directly involve the children, and sure I was running the out of school club but that child didn't attend that!

I made a complaint!

I know (or think I know) that you're not using ritalin - my point is that there's no need for other people to know what your child's IEP is and what support he needs in school. That's for you to share with other parents as you decide.

Mandles

wornoutmumoftwo wrote: »

Little update: My 7 year old is still not behaving at school, (split placement half mainstream/half special), had a meeting with the special school and explained what was happening and they are going into the mainstream on the 20th to see what he's up to and to try and put in place something to settle him. (he's in primary 2).

Also, just had my letter about his ASD assessment (first appointment) and I just wondered how it all works, i know they've writtten to the speech therapist and she told me to expect this appointment but not sure what happens beyond this.

THanks very much

When we had our ASD assessment it worked that once they got the ball rolling i had the speech therapist come to the house to see him (she was totally fantastic and helped mostly with the formal diagnosis as he was as quiet as a mouse in the drs office and quite good as he was a bit poorly and the calpol has subdued him a fair bit!).
The speech therapist also saw him at his playgroup and spoke to them. I think he may also have had a report from the educational pshycologist at that time(can remember if she did her assessment then(from my home with him) or when i requested a statement for him).
We then went back and saw dr again with more questions for us and then was given the diagnosis.
I filmed on my phone some of his typical behaviour and showed them which helped a bit as i think it is hard to get a true picture on a 20 min appointment.
The dr said he did not seem so bad but thankfully the speech therapist said that he was extremley different when she saw him and from what his playgroup said he usually behaves like so recognise how valuable her evaluation is and make friends with her as also later they can really help you.

Good luck and stock up on hankies!;)...this was one of my lowest times through it all so prepare yourself.

blue_monkey_2

That is what I meant really sue.

But I have been in this morning and asked what happened yesterday. Now, I've started a Home/School book because while he is 'an angel' at school he is not at home. I told them he says things when he sleepwalks and this has started since he was back at school. I also told them about his 'friend' feeding him stones (they said they did not know about that), he will not tell anyone for fear of getting the other child in trouble and also, what I have seen other kids doing to him in and out of school I am certain must also happen in school.

I also made it clear I would be making an appointment with his SENCO and the teacher to go through his IEP!! I was too late this morning as I pulled his TA aside but I am going to be going with his IEP with both of them.

Back to what I was saying, I asked what happened yesterday and I was told 'not sure but I think he was spitting and that he burped in someones face'. I asked about the name calling and was told they did not know about that as 'Mrs X dealt with it but she is not in now until Tuesday'. Well, this gave me the ideal opportunity to tell them about the Home/School book and ask why it is not being used. He has 2 teachers who are both P/T and a TA who is there most of the time. But I told her that if they filled the book in I could deal with these issues. I said that I could send him into school shrug my shoulders and tell them to deal with it as he is in their care but I am not like that and I want to get to the bottom of why he does things. She said that the teacher was 'not sure about the Home/School book' and so I had better speak to her about it. This is when I said I was going to make the appointment with the SENCO and the Teacher because the SENCO will realise how important the book is.

I do get what you are saying about the teachers softwaremad but as a parent I am trying to help my child at school as well as home - I cannot do that without their help and my son is not the only child with this condition in their class so they should be more understanding and have SOME understanding of the condition. They should be aware of the differences that changes to routine make to their day, or if they are given something to do but that they cannot do but do not ask for help, they take this out other ways, if they took a minute to ask what the problem is then they might be able to help him deal with it. Him being 'naughty' is because he has a problem with something or does not understand how to do something and he communicates this in other ways, I do not think it unreasonable for them to accept that and see if they can find out what the problem is.

The Spitting was him dribbling. If I saw him doing it I would ask him what the problem is and help him, if I shouted at him to stop (as this PE teacher did) then he would not stop as the problem has not been dealt with and he is still being faced with it. More understanding is all that it needs. While mose kids communicate that there is a problem my child does other things to communicate that there is a problem. The problem is that they are things that are not acceptable socially. Just by asking him what was wrong he would have stopped but he was yelled at and reported because he does not have proper communication skills.

Mandles

blue_monkey wrote: »

In an insane way I am pleased to know I am not alone. It makes me :mad::mad::mad: but I am going to continue filling it in so I can chuck i in their faces at a later date when they haul me in for his behaviour.

I want to know what the complaint from the PE teacher (who has been bought in externally) is about. I know that my son does not use bad words at home so maybe they need to listen to what the kids are saying at school ans knock it on the head. The problem is that my son hears them being said by other kids, he repeats them and because he is very loud he is overheard and then gets in trouble. THAT is what drives me mad. :mad:

Totally agree with you. My DS did the same. A horror of a child at playgroup had him saying horrendous words at playgroup and at home. Luckily for us he mimics what is around him at the time so in school holidays not one swear word and the other lad has left playgroup so he has still not sworn again.
I would be furious if he got in trouble for it as it is some other kid saying it, "aspies" just say it louder and don't care who hears!
I would request a copy of the complaint if i were you and maybe see the head of year and request a copy of any complaints in the future or concerns as you need it in order to get more help.
Makes your blood boil!! :mad:

what is IEP? Individual ??? ???? (education program?). Also read about him being told to eat stones!! So dangerous for him. Someone needs to watch better at playtime. I personally would get this in writing to them and mention that you wanted to make sure that this was in writing to them in case of further incidents. Oh my goodness. Kids can be so horrible.
I watched that autism and me program. The blonde one was exactly like a child in my school when i was little and it has only just sunk in now that he likely has autism. He was treated horrendously by many kids and i even saw the odd teacher smirking at unkind comments to him.

Sorry, i keep reading more of your post and adding. Totally agree, it definately is not too much to ask for a teacher to understand the childs needs better and act differently when dealing with them. e.g If a teacher shouts at my "normal" kids they will stop what they are doing and be quiet and do as they are told. If a teacher shouts at my "aspie" child he will shout louder than the teacher , get even angrier and you have now just esculated a managble siuation into a massive explosion that will last a lot longer than if you calmly asked what was wrong.

softwaremad

No your both right it is not too much to ask for with regards inderstanding & patience from the teachers! in my experiance though some people are just plain ignorant and can't be bothered to make that effort - so we as parents of these special kids have to learn to stand up for them - educating these sorts of people to understand the difficulties of our kids wont always work!

file a complaint against them for discrimination - this will work more efficiently in ousting the "deadwood" teachers!

All the best

Jessica33

my son and his girlfriend are now in touch with ASpire she has been referred there and they will help her in employment and other matters and will also help her appeal her DLA award if it is refused.

Savvy_Sue

IEP = Individual Education Plan, I believe.

ellymk

Brenny wrote: »

Thanks for all your replies. We have tried shorts, but I haven't tried boy's boxers yet - I think I may buy some and sew up the front and see if we can get her in those. Have also looked in M&S for seamless but couldn't see any. Will try and bigger store. I couldn't see anything on the NAS site, although I did find an American site with seamless socks (also another of her hates)! Not sure about her pop singing talents either......!!!!

primark do girl boxers but not sure if small enough

wornoutmumoftwo

Well, We had the assessment today. Lasted a couple of hours with DS in one room and me and huby in the other answering questions. They're assessing for aspergers and have an appointment for next friday for the diagnosis I think.

I have a feeling he'll come back as not aspergers as a lot of the questions were asking if he had to have a particular cereal/change of routine type questions, so I'm not too sure now, just have to wait and see.

On the plus side found out that teaching himself to read at 3 has a name - hyperlexis or someting.

Just need to wait now, at least it's only a week.

atwitsend_2

Hi, newish to the forum, my 7 year old has autism and adhd, just thought i'd pop over and say hi