Aspergers/ASD support thread

flippin36

wornoutmumoftwo wrote: »

Just need some advice.
My son is 7 and on the autistic spectrum (probably aspergers - going through diagnosis now).
Since returning to primary 2 five weeks ago he has gone in under protest every single day and having requested a meeting with the school it appears that he is refuses to behave and won't do class work, which is monopolising the teachers time. (2 teachers in the class for 22 kids).
He is only in mainstream school Mon - Thur morning and all day friday. The rest of the time he goes to a special school with one to one teaching.
Does anyone have any advise on how I can get him to go in happy and behave?
He says it's noisy/too hard/too easy - but on a good day these things don't bother him.
The school is very supportive and are going to send home a card each day letting me know if it's a good day or a not so good day - and then I can reward him at home accordingly and hope this will work.
Is there anything else that I could try?
We're meeting up again in mid october at which point the edu.psychologist will be called in.
He is capable of the work, but doesn't seem prepared to join in with any of the class teaching.

Hi, I can sympathise.

Is there Autism specialists in your area that can visit him in school? They are worth their weight in gold, and can challange teachers to sometimes think outside the circle! My son needs his own little work room that is quiet and a happy space. They let him have a fiddle toy for his pocket. He is allowed time out in the playground when its getting too much for him. They find him jobs and responsibilities that he can do easily and is part of his everyday routine. TBH its all about him as an individual and whether the school is prepared to be flexible. It can sometimes take time to find appropriate strategies that work, but it needs direction from someone who really understands not only autism but your son i.e what motivates him, what makes him happy, and what makes him anxious. Regarding noise, ear guards are a godsend to us. He has them on him to use when it gets too noisy.

Hope that helps. I know its not easy.

wornoutmumoftwo

Thanky you. The special school are going in to the mainstream on Tuesday to see him and work mainly with ASD children.
Just feel wound up at the minute as OH seems to think I've been soft on him.
The next meeting is in three weeks so going to see what I can do to settle him.

flippin36

Because he is going through the diagnosis, I am assuming that your OH might not fully understand Aspergers. Its certainly not as simple as "being soft on him", and is absolutely not your fault in anyway.

This is a great book regarding aspergers. It not only gives us insight into how children with AS think, but it also tackles the difficulty of parenting. Its fiction but is well written.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Curious-Incident-Dog-Night-time/dp/0099450259/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1253180740&sr=8-1-catcorr

Is there a support group in your area. Once he gets his diagnosis you may find it helpful. Our local one does day trips out, and playschemes to give you a break. They also do training courses for parents. Its helpful to be able to talk to others who have similar experiences, as its difficult for people who haven't a child with AS to fully understand.

September is the hardest time of year for a child with AS - but it does get easier as they settle down to a routine.

wornoutmumoftwo

Thank you, the special run a club for the kids and get professionals in to speak to the parets but it has't opend up again yet. I don't think my OH does understand, he thinks I let my son have his own way all the time.

His only interest in the pc and the wii - so I have that included in routine. So say he does his homework nice he gets 10 minutes - I try to use it as an incentive as he has no other interests at the moment. (He's obssessive and it changes from week to week).

I've always denied there was anything wrong with my son and have only just started on the diagnosis so have a while to wait. I feel like he's being left behind by his peers socially and he's a bright boy who was reading at three, it might be hat he does find the class work boring but he isn't prepared to show the teachers what he knows.

Thanks so much for your advvice.

flippin36

Getting a diagnosis was the best thing that ever happened to us. People started to take things seriously and we received lots of support which was a weight off my shoulders. (I think certain people thought I was just being neurotic!)

When you get a diagnosis (and don't stop until you are happy with the diagnosis you get) you may find things getting a little easier. There is a wealth of support for people with ASD but sometimes you have to seek it out and ask for it.

When you get a diagnosis, you get a professional written report plus a pack with information and forms for various services if you want them. This may be a bit sobering for your OH if he doesn't really understand his condition. It's like it becomes official so you have to deal with it and become educated in order to form appropriate strategies. Its a completely different kind of parenting which we had to learn.

Its also particularly hard when you have other children. Sometimes there are no answers other than to have a bit of a moan with people who understand.

Take care.

softwaremad

dear worn out mum of two-

as your ds is in special school receiving 1 to 1 how come that is not also transposed to the mainstream part of his education. maybe he needs the extra attention & help. going from 1 to the other (i.e special school to mainstream) is rather a large change on a regular basis special school classes are small compared to mainstream. if the lea are paying for 1 to 1 in ss then maybe the school aught to give more provision in his mainstream class the assistant would already be there in the school?? this may make it more appeasing to him - worth a try eh? good luck

Strapped

flippin36 wrote: »

Getting a diagnosis was the best thing that ever happened to us. People started to take things seriously and we received lots of support which was a weight off my shoulders. (I think certain people thought I was just being neurotic!)

When you get a diagnosis (and don't stop until you are happy with the diagnosis you get) you may find things getting a little easier. There is a wealth of support for people with ASD but sometimes you have to seek it out and ask for it.

When you get a diagnosis, you get a professional written report plus a pack with information and forms for various services if you want them. This may be a bit sobering for your OH if he doesn't really understand his condition. It's like it becomes official so you have to deal with it and become educated in order to form appropriate strategies. Its a completely different kind of parenting which we had to learn.

Its also particularly hard when you have other children. Sometimes there are no answers other than to have a bit of a moan with people who understand.

Take care.

Useful to know. We have been waiting for an assessment appointment for more than a year (refered last summer by GP, had initial brief apt with specialist registrar in Nov 2008) and just found out that it's likely to be next year before we are seen Fortunately, we have been able to get DS statemented and to access some help without a diagnosis, but it would still be helpful to "have it official" and find out if there is any more help available.

wornoutmumoftwo

I'm in Scotland and have been told there is a three month waiting list. My son also gets lots of support since the original assessment since he was 3 so I'm really lucky there.

I feel a little better now, i've spoken to my son and explained how happy we would all be if he behaved (but I said it in a way he understood and he laughed so fingers crossed). Also my neighbours daughter took him in the building today and went to see him at playtime and said he seemed happier - she's 9).

Strapped

wornoutmumoftwo wrote: »

I'm in Scotland and have been told there is a three month waiting list. My son also gets lots of support since the original assessment since he was 3 so I'm really lucky there.

I feel a little better now, i've spoken to my son and explained how happy we would all be if he behaved (but I said it in a way he understood and he laughed so fingers crossed). Also my neighbours daughter took him in the building today and went to see him at playtime and said he seemed happier - she's 9).

Yeah, I was told (in writing) that it would be "a few months" too.

PasturesNew

Personally, I find things are easier if I sit by a window that has a far away view. This isn't about staring out of the window, but about being able to "take myself out of the environment", which I can do by looking a long way.

It might be worthwhile finding out about the classrooms and where your kids sit if there are problems. Certainly they need to be at an edge, at or near the back ... but ideally somewhere where they can see outside and be able to focus on things a long way away.

It is important to me that I can put my things where I want them to be, so a ledge beside or behind is great. I don't like to have things on or near the floor (trailing), so to be able to put a bag on a ledge beside/behind me, rather than hooked over the seat is ideal. Everything has to be in the right place... it's important.