Aspergers/ASD support thread

Sarahsaver

Mandles wrote: »

How strange. It this course for kids with Aspie as i know i am new to all this but i cannot reason with mine at all and was told by the Dr who diagnosed him that you cannot reason with Aspie kids, instead you just tell them how to behave in instruction form and this is how it works. Is this not true then?

Does not sound the course for you.Has your DD been diagnosed as she sounds like she should be aswell. Maybe get a nice corner cupboard in the loo and put a lock on it and get her those travel bottles full of products that she needs so that she can be left with them and if she does do some experimenting that she wont waste the lot.

afaik YOU are right
:cool:

Savvy_Sue

Sarahsaver wrote: »

afaik YOU are right
:cool:

I agree too. The time I wasted asking DS1 how he would 'feel' if one of his brothers demolished a precious Lego model after he'd done that to them. :eek: This is before I knew he was an Aspie, but I gave up asking and started TELLING him how upset he'd be. Huge relief when I was told that he didn't 'do' feelings! :rotfl:

Sarahsaver

a bit like when people say to ds 'you ought to apologise' cos in ds eyes that makes no fundamental difference really so theres no point.

Savvy_Sue

Sarahsaver wrote: »

a bit like when people say to ds 'you ought to apologise' cos in ds eyes that makes no fundamental difference really so theres no point.

:rotfl:especially if he's not sorry ... :rotfl:

Fortunately we have now established 'the rules', especially when with Grandad who I suspect is an Aspie and definitely works to strict rules about how to behave. He loves them dearly, I'm sure, but has certain fixed ideas of how children should behave. He has never openly criticised the way we've brought them up, he was too thrilled to get a daughter-in-law, I can do no wrong, BUT you can tell when things aren't the way he thinks they should be.

He seems to think that his children worked to these 'rules' when they were younger, but in fact he saw very little of them when they were younger so actually has no idea! :rotfl:

blue_monkey_2

The course I went on - not it was for 'dealing with children and their emotions'. She asked everyonw why there were there and she came to me and I said 'to be honest, I am here because the docotr told me if I came on a prenting class I would jump the list for CAMHS'. LOL. YOu should have seen everyone's face..... This is NOT the course for me. I do not fee have problems, just things I need to get addressed.

I asked last week about whether I should go to the docs or wait until I saw the paediatrician in March and I was told to see the doctor. I want to go without her though as I do not feel right to be discussing it all in front of her and making her feel she has more problems. Is that the right thing to do?

Good idea about the potions Mandles. We do have to be careful, DD is not supposed to use anything in her bath as she gets a lot of ezcema and shampoo is about as far as it gets, the cheaper stuff does tend to be worse for flaring it up though. I just hide it all now though!!

blue_monkey_2

Today I was upstairs and my husband was talking about someone elses feelings so DD thres the toy Ryan was playing with under the sofa and said 'see, I'll hurt your feelings' and was proud she had done it.

Savvy_Sue

blue_monkey wrote: »

I asked last week about whether I should go to the docs or wait until I saw the paediatrician in March and I was told to see the doctor. I want to go without her though as I do not feel right to be discussing it all in front of her and making her feel she has more problems. Is that the right thing to do?

I'd start with a phone call to the surgery to explain that's what you want to do: you might need to speak to the doctor rather than the receptionist, but I agree, I wouldn't want to have discussed DS1's problems in any detail with his little ears flapping. He was 12 when we got the diagnosis, and that was a lot easier.

mandy.h_2

blue_monkey wrote: »

Today I was upstairs and my husband was talking about someone elses feelings so DD thres the toy Ryan was playing with under the sofa and said 'see, I'll hurt your feelings' and was proud she had done it.

hi

we rang dr booked appointment in ds name but explained he would not be attending, had no problem when arrived just gave his name. i think it helps if you know gp well we do, then went on to explain problems and that did not want ds hearing us we had no problems. have fone this a few times since

Mandles

kit wrote: »

I have been 'advised' (ok, told!) that ASD is no longer 'PC'. We are now meant to say ASC ..... its a condition, not a disorder.

I was just looking for something else and came accross this. I just wanted to say that even though it is not PC that is what they write on the form when they diagnose as i have had that from the specialist dr a month ago. To me disorder sounds better as i think people take more note of it than if you say condition. I have OCD and it is a disorder of a small part of my brain and am not offended by it being called a disorder as that is what it is.

I think the more you butter something up into sounding correct the more you lose the battle to get recognition and help for it sometimes. But that is just my opinion;) .

blue_monkey_2

Hi all,

I've come to ask you if I did the right thing today as I've been running this round and round in my head....

DS went to Gymnastics class today, it'll be his 3rd and he loved the last 2. He has been 'out of sorts' all week with various things happening, biting, hiting, fighting, not wanting to choose his lunch, refusing to go to bed, etc...

Anyhow, today we got home and he did not want to go to his Gym class. I said he had to go and took him, first he refused to get out of the car so I had to drag him out, then he refused to get dressed and went and hid under the table. He had a huge struggle with me when it was time to go in and one of the class teachers took him off me where he stood in the circle crying and wailing. After a few minutes I went in to get him and the teacher said I should leave him there and not always go to him or 'give him what he wants', I explained he was ASD and she said 'yes I know'. His crying set of some of the younger ones in the class and some ran out as they would not stay while he was crying.

In the end I sat at the side and tried to get him to join in but he refused, I stayed in the class with him as the teacher suggested but when I tried to get him to walk on the beam he just jumped up and down and refused to do it disrupting the whole class so no-one else could have a go. At that point I picked him up and took him home.

We have had nothing but tantrums, crying, violence since we got home. I do not know what has set him off this week but it has been a long week.

Please can you tell me what I should of done in this situation, please. I did what I thought was right at the time but now I am not so sure so wondered if anyone could advise me for next time. We have only just started going and I feel embarrassed that it happened so early on, I am not sure whether I should be apologising, I spend all my time apologising these days, or whether I should just leave it as they do know of his ASD. What are your thoughts on what I did today by leaving.

It really has been a long week and this has been the worst for a very, very long time. Do we all have 'weeks' like this where it is worse than usual? Do your kids refuse to do stuff like this as well even if it is something they enjoy? Should I bne embarrasses? Make him stay?

I am just feeling really confused right at this moment on knowing whether I did the right thing.

Thanks.