Aspergers/ASD support thread

mandy.h_2

hi all

am loking for some advice, yesterday my ds came home from school and started telling me about a incident that had happened, he and some other boys were witness to verbal and racial abuse to a old lady in school car park, a special assembly was organised and police came to ask for witnesses to come forward, da and friends did ( very proud of this ) however my concerns is they were taken into a room 2 plainclothes officers head of year and deputy head all present and asked to give names of who did it this was tapped by police.

now my concern is 1 repercusions for ds 2 no one told me as his mum this was happening he is 14 and 3 his level of understanding is different to other boys due to being an aspie

well i was not happy and said so it caused major meltdown in our house last night oh gone ballistic and wants meeting with school ds says if we go in school he will never tell us anything again and he is ok. he has no idea why we so upset

so guys have we over reacted to situation

Mandles

I am new to the aspie thing but whatever the age and whatever the child is like he will possibly be in line for trouble after telling on these horrors. He did the right thing and what a good boy he is.Maybe it was not the best thing to discuss in front of him but we all act on impulse.
I would say well done but i still need to see the head about this. I would see the head and say that they should have informed you first due to being aspie and that you want even the slightest incident sorted with immediately if your son gets targeted in any way as they have allowed this to happen. I would then tell your child to keeep away from these boys and if they say anything to go straight to the head teacher and tell her(would he do that?).

Maybe get it in writing and give it to her by saying that you want this incident and your request noted thus the letter.

mandy.h_2

thanks for reply he is not in trouble as he only a witness but apparently the boys who did it are supposed to be arrested today, i am concerned about him if it has to go further, he hasa ta that he would tell things to which is what we have said to do

Mandles

Right my DLA form has turned up. I have looked on threads and seen people get nothing or very low amount as they did not "word" things in a certain way. Are there any agencies who know what they are on about or anyone you can ask to help. A relative has offered but i want to be perfect as form does not look too bad at first glimpse but obviously i need to get it 100% right. Who did you all use (i know someone earlier said who they had help them but wondered if there were more options?)

blue_monkey_2

Mandles, I used the guide here: http://www.cerebra.org.uk/parent_support/DLA_guide.htm

I got middle rate using this guide.

Strapped

Mandles wrote: »

Right my DLA form has turned up. I have looked on threads and seen people get nothing or very low amount as they did not "word" things in a certain way. Are there any agencies who know what they are on about or anyone you can ask to help. A relative has offered but i want to be perfect as form does not look too bad at first glimpse but obviously i need to get it 100% right. Who did you all use (i know someone earlier said who they had help them but wondered if there were more options?)

I can't recommend Welfare Rights highly enough. So helpful, stopped me spending days and days agonising over the form, helped me word it right, even photocpied it and posted it for me (very MSE :money: )

Mandles

blue_monkey wrote: »

Mandles, I used the guide here: http://www.cerebra.org.uk/parent_support/DLA_guide.htm

I got middle rate using this guide.

My son has Aspergers Is your son/daughter more severe than this though? I just ask as even on paper mine might just seem like a hyper pre schooler especially if you catch him when he is ill(which is often at the moment). People may think that i am really making it sound worse than it is when i say that he has to be watched every second of the day. I have to lock him in my lounge for his own saftey when i go for a wee and he still escapes sometimes!!..but i have to be quick because of what he can get up to in the lounge.

Do you write stuff like that in the report? Also should i wait for his statement to come through before applying?

blue_monkey_2

Yes, you need to write in everything. We have the same with my son, we cannot leave him unattended either. I know what you mean and it gets tiring telling people which is why you need to find a support group, it really will help you a lot.

My son has behaviour problems, ASD, a form of ADHD called Oppositionsal Defiant Disorder because they will not diagnose and treat ADHD until age 7, social and communication problems. He has not got a specific ASD diagnosis as we have not seen the paediatriction for that yet, just the ADHD doc (who diagnosed the ASD) and another doctor who tested his general developement (growth etc...) all of which is fine and he is far advanced in his practical skills, not with his social and communication skills.

You need to write everything, this is why you need to make a start, go through and do the bits that you can and then each day go back to it and do another section when you get a spare half an hour. I did one question at a time, one a day some days, and got it in 5 days before the cut off date, sent by Special Delivery eo ensure it would arrive and that I had proof of it being sent. Just in case. And photocopy it.

Fill in the bits that you can. There is a long section at the end where you can add how life is like with him. They contacted my son's teacher and his doctor so these will also back you up. However insignificant you think it is write it in. Make notes of how life is through the day as you take for things for granted, they become 'normal' and so when you think about doing it write it in a notebook, carry the notebook everywhere so you can do it. That helps.

But make a start on it now and get the bits filled in that you can, some bits will not be relevant so you can disregard them, get some post it notes and stick them in the pages you still need to fill in and do one day at a time, one question at a time. Read it over and over and in the end you'll get there. But the earlier you start the more you'll remember so it is important not to sit on the form once you have it. Make a start and you'll get there. It is hard going and depressing so please do not do it all in one day.

And no doing it before Lost. You need your wits about for that, remember

softwaremad

my advice regarding the form is to take the absolute worst day you have and use that as your basis! also the children with autism need care 24/7 not every so often so cross them out and put 24/7 instead

Bumblebee67

My nephew age 11 has been diagnosed with Aspergers and has Dyspraxia and is also dyslexic. Getting this diagnosis has taken 4 years and incredibly he was turned down for an educational assessment last year as his school were less than helpful and submitted his best work - basically someone sat next to him and spelled out every single word of his story ! His case has been taken on by Children's Legal Service and I went with my sister to an appeal last week - we are awaiting the decision. The school sided with the Local Authority once again despite his own teacher saying he needed a Statement Of Educational needs. He is obviously going to come really unstuck at mainstream High School next year, and will be such a target for bullies that I dread what might happen. My sister is considering taking him out of school and home tutoring until she can get him a place at a lovely school that would suit his needs perfectly. He patently needs a place at a special school and a statement. Does anyone have any advice on where to go and what to do next. Any advice would be so welcome. Thank you.