Aspergers/ASD support thread

Raksha

Hope your day is going a bit better today Swan.

Swan_2

Raksha wrote: »

Hope your day is going a bit better today Swan.

thanks :A

things have calmed down overnight, he went to stay over at his dad's, but has come home now for gift unwrapping with his brother & sister & is as contrite as he is able to be, so the rest of the day should be fine

but I have decided that his dad's going to have to help me out with him a bit more


PS ... I'd better add, when I say he laid into me, I meant verbally, not physically
it doesn't sound like much & wasn't a row, but he can be very intense & persistent, it's hard to explain but I just couldn't cope with it any more last night

Sarahsaver

(hugs) swan i get days like that with my ds and he is only a couple of mnonths off 9 years old, i know i may have more difficult times to come
Today the obsession with lego has been a lifesaver!

mandy.h_2

hi al

well i will never again wish for ds to go away and give me peace, sister in law has took him away for last week to spain , we paid as he wanted to go so had it for his xmas presie. its been awful so quiet even dd missing him now he spent all time on phone or online to us and rang today to say save him his xmas dinner as they did not have one. SIL rang to say yes they did but he would not eat it.

he is back tomoz and i know by the day after i might regret this post but dont think i can allow him to go away at xmas again i quiet like it that he acts like he is 5 and still gets us up at 4am dd was still in bed at 8 i was up waiting for her

Claw_back_money

Hi all :santa2:
I've just had the first 'ok' christmas for many many years. I need someone to share it with! When things have been carp everyone sits around dissecting my wonderful children, or my apparently inadequate parenting, but this year things are ok and its just forgotten. Its so unfair as my boys have come such a long way!
We were all at the in-laws; all of us being OH, DD of 22, DS1 of 20 (no diagnosis but AS tendancies), DS of 17 (Aspergers diagnosis). I have always found that the most (possibly only) thing the diagnosis is good for is for waving at uncompromising and judgmental relatives, who fortunately were not around for Christmas.
M-in-law was ok with DS1 not having anything to do with 'bird' and had made a bit of beef something for him, which worked fine. Both boys were fine (phew) apart from a couple of small things which were just faintly amusing rather than a big deal. Favourite bit was when I said something a bit 'naughty' and was told 'you'll grow horns'... to which DS2 looked very anxiously at my head!
A lot of the attention was taken by new grand-children of 1 and 3. He was absolutely fascinated by Granny's long flowing skirt and we had a fantastic few minutes where he tried to figure out what a skirt is and why granny was so different. :rotfl:
Best wishes for the new year to all
Cbm

Gers

Just found this thread and couldn't bear to read it all. My brother was an undiagnosed Aspbergers (born in the 50s' and so no awareness of the condition) and we all suffered. He was highly intelligent, very sociable in company and an extremely hard worker in his field. Was obsessive, unemotional and totally exasperating. After many many difficult years he died suddenly. The 'brother-sized' hole is still huge, even though I had moved away from him emtionally about a year before his death. At that point my own emtional well being had to take priority as his behaviour was having a serious affect on me.


Understanding the condition doesn't make it any easier to life with or cope with. He left a number of ruined personal relationships behind and a number of (now adult) children who all felt the loss of him long before he physically died.

I loved him dearly, don't think he actually felt the same about me or anyone else for that matter.

Sarahsaver

i think the relationships get 'ruined' when there is lack of information
my son will not make eye contact EXCEPT for with our new 12 wk old baby girl

blue_monkey_2

Hi everyone, hope all is well. It has been a difficult start to the school holidays, the whole change in routine, people coming and going and the like. Of course, the dinner routine is different as well and that has not down too well as he does not want 'hot dinner' and then does not eat anything. Because we got him the things he wants and is obsessed with he has just been so demanding the whole day long - and I am exhausted.

We went to the soft play just before Xmas and I had a glimpse into the future and it has worried me slightly. I guess I deal with things day to day as Ryan is small and light so it is easy to pick him up and carry him out if he kicks off. This family came in behind me at the entrance and as we have passes we walked straight in, the lad they had with them, about 9 or 10 I guess, just kicked off and the dad was explaining that he had topay while this little lad was jumping up and down and screaming. You know when someone just catches your eye - I was watching them the whole time wondering if their son was ASD - he certainly had to be. The dad had to wait in the queue for drinks and was in front of me and the mum was having the hold this lad against her and the minute she let him go he was up to the fridge and - it was like slow motion as Ryan was standing there watching him - lifted the front of the fridge to get himself a drink. I just thought 'oh no' and Ryan did not know the fridge did this so he will now just start helping himself which is a bit of a pain in all honesty. At the other soft play we go to they keep the crisps and stuff where the kids can get to them (why???) and I will find him sitting on the soft play eating crisps that he has helped himself to. Anyhow, the mum was restraining this lad and she walked off, the lad was holding onto the wall, mother tried to pull him away, lad kicked out and kicked this guy walking past straight in the stomach and left the mum apologising. I saw that lad take the drink out of the fridge 3 times while I was there. More so they were giving him fruit shoots which sends my kids do-lally (we call it do-lally juice, LOL) so I did wonder why, does anyone else find they do this to kids? I think it set me thinking.

I do not really go out with Ryan on my own now but as long as he 'is in the mood' I can get a shop out of him, if he does not want to go then we do not go as I know it will be hell. Does anyone else have this problem. I then sometimes wonder if bring this on myself, it is just so much easier not to go than to have a fight. I have also noticed that when he says 'I want to go home' we have to go. We was at a friends and he said he wanted to go home and I said 'in a minute' and it was like he changed to a different boy, he started trying to drag things out of the little girls bedroom, refused to walk down the stairs, started jumping and screaming. I am guessing this is about control then. Am I right in doing what I do? I just know that 'now' means now and it is easier for a quiet life but I do feel like it means he is the one who has control in the family.

Anyway, he LOVES his marble run and his dominos!! It is all I hear about, come and look at this mummy, come now, come and look...... This morning he found his scalextric in the cupboard, it lasted 3 laps before he was bored with that though! I hope everyone else is having a lovely Xmas.

shazrobo

hi bm, your post really brought a lump to my throat. i do exactly the same as you, if one of my boys is starting to play up and has had enough of something, then its time to stop the activity, and go home. my lads are 13 now, and there is no way i can hold them, and restrain them.
spend an awful lot of time indoors alone with them now during the school hols, as going out is too hard and stressful, and whilst one or the other of the lads is in control, the other one is upset and in tears, because they too want there own way, unfortunatly with twins, both cant win,
hugs bm
shaz x

fallen_angel_69

Hi all ,sorry not posted in a while have had major problems just lately with one thing and another
Just didn't know how to put it down or or anything DD1 has been skivving college as she has a b/f it seems to be she has to be with him all the time even if she gets and now has final warning from college This lad doesn't work so she wants to spend every minute of the day with him even at the cost of everything else her other friends and college
DD2 is getting better and now finally after 3 years don't have to give her lyriynel anymore to stop her wetting her clothes or the bed Have had dry clothes and sheets since oct and it feels great the amount washing and ironing has gone right down
I hope everyone had a nice xmas and didn't have too many problems this year My dd2 got way over the top when we ate at families house so was gratefull when it seemed like i'd been there long enough to go home Feel like a bad mum this holiday though usually give dd's a time limit of an hour on comp but am letting them have longer so the house is settled and quiet with out to many arguements have had enough of those with dd1 over college to last me a lifetime
Sorry for a rambling post ...hope it sort of makes sense