Aspergers/ASD support thread

Snaggles

Blue Monkey, just wanted to say I am soooo pleased for you hun :T

fallen_angel_69

i'm realloy glad bm that things have turned out for you.it must be such a weight of your mind now

sarah1975uk

Hi everyone am in need of a bit of support. George had major meltdown yesturday and was a horrible day all in all for the whole familly. Husband doesnt see as much of what i have to deal with regarding George as he works full time and i spend all my time iwth the kids and basically doesnt understand or know how to deal or cope with him. We have been having a rough time for quite some time now in our marriage and got to the point of a few weeks ago seperating, but he wouldnt leave the house just done his thing i done my thing and i kept house going. After yesturday with George i found out that since he went bankrupt a few weeks ago hes been using my mothers spare bank account to have his wages paid into and not been giving me any money at all for housekeeping etc hes been going to work and out with his mates a lot and comming home but kinda felt i was being taken for a mug and taken for granted he had the perfect single life but security of the family life all be it stressful, which to be honest i lost the plot with him last night and this morning about the lying and me feeling hurt rejected unappreciated and un supported. My mum has been a complete !!!!! and taken his side and called me all the names under the sun via text message last night and this morning my husband walked out i took his key off him for my house and i havent heard from him since, i tried calling him to talk but he wont pick up his phone. He basically said this morning im not happy have made up my mind were over etc etc, but he wont talk or discuss the situation with our family at all and not even seem to be fighting to keep us together. I feel so alone and upset and such a faliour in every area of my life at the moment. The long running situation that you all know about with George is a huge drain on my life anyway without the stress of husband now walking out. I know i can be a complete idiot at times and god knows ive made mistakes in my life but i dont deserve the silent treatment and deserve for him to at least try and understand why im so stressed and why from time to time i may loose the plot a bit. All i want is for my kids to be ok and happy and for me to feel happy and my marriage to be ok and how it should be.

I'm so sorry to go on here to you all, but know i have a lot of friends in on this thread who have always supported me and given me honest opinions.

verysillyguy06

That is soooo terrible to hear. You don t deserve this. Lots of hugs.I am so sorry...all my good thoughts are for you. Is there anyone you can talk to? Even if it is the citicien advice. The most important would be to get husband to talk to you. Has he any brothers or friends you can get into touch with? Get support from any one of your friends. You need, again, to stay strong....:lovethoug

sarah1975uk

verysillyguy06 wrote: »

That is soooo terrible to hear. You don t deserve this. Lots of hugs.I am so sorry...all my good thoughts are for you. Is there anyone you can talk to? Even if it is the citicien advice. The most important would be to get husband to talk to you. Has he any brothers or friends you can get into touch with? Get support from any one of your friends. You need, again, to stay strong....:lovethoug

I only have 1 friend nerby that i feel i can talk to, ive seen her today, but am home now kids are playing out and im in tears on here. I feel so awful and one thing that really winds me up is the fact he wont talk to me. I dont know any contact details for his friends and they live 30 miles away. I know that he will be with them and probably talking to everyone else other than talking to me who is the one person he should be communicating with and isnt. We were supposed to be going on a family holiday to spain on 19th June and now know he wont be comming with us and i am dreading have to go abroad on my own with the kids. havent got a pot to pee in at the moment and as he has kept all his money to himself and not contributed to the hosue for ages i only have the basic of what i get for me and the kids. I feel so let down by not only my husband but my mother too, any little bit of trust i had for anyone has now gone, and thats not the type of person i am, im generally too trusting but am sick of having the pee taken out of me and being let down all the time

carol9uk

hi i hope you dont mind me joining my OH and 13 year old son has AS, and i am expecting another boy in three months.


pasturesnew, my OH had trouble trying to get diginosed, the PCT paid for him to go to shefield. he is still waiting for help over a year. the NAS came round to see how they can how they can help and how much it will cost .

Js_Other_Half

Sarah1975UK - this is not down to you - or at least not alone. Ignore your Mum's opinion - your husband has not been telling you the truth about his financial situation, and letting you and the children go short.
As for him - I can imagine he feels guilty and embarrassed, and so has gone off on one 'cos it's easier than facing you.

<hugs>

Js_Other_Half

Pastures New - I think you did really well to get yourself to somewhere so stressful and alien. It's not your fault that the place isn't set up for face to face contact.

mandy.h_2

sarah1975 you sound like u r in same situation i was a few year ago, oh could not cope with ds said he felt guilty cos he knew it came from him we had a sticky patch witch ended in him walking out, he came back though with tail wagging. the first thing you need to do is sort yourself out some money do you work if so claim tax credit u can do it over the phone if not u need to speak to benefits agency to see what u r entitled to then u r not relying on oh financially

as for talking when i was at my lowest point i found the samaritans really good i just talked and cried and talked again they dont judge but listen

hope everything sorts it self out but you have to remember oh is a adult george needs u more at the moment.

sarah1975uk

mandy.h wrote: »

sarah1975 you sound like u r in same situation i was a few year ago, oh could not cope with ds said he felt guilty cos he knew it came from him we had a sticky patch witch ended in him walking out, he came back though with tail wagging. the first thing you need to do is sort yourself out some money do you work if so claim tax credit u can do it over the phone if not u need to speak to benefits agency to see what u r entitled to then u r not relying on oh financially

as for talking when i was at my lowest point i found the samaritans really good i just talked and cried and talked again they dont judge but listen

hope everything sorts it self out but you have to remember oh is a adult george needs u more at the moment.

Thank you so much for your reply its so scary and so not nice, at the moment im so confused juggling the nastyness and rejection from my own mother and my husband too and the love and concern i have for all 3 of my kids not only poor george. Kind of forgotton who me is really spent my whole life devoted to my kids and family and just feel like ive been kicked in the teeth. Christ im only 33 and my life should not be this way. But having spoken to tom on here and of course all my other great friends on here too and my neighbour who has known my kids since they were babies. I have finally stopped crying now. The situation with George and my kids will never go away i know that and as a mum i will always fight for them tooth and nail to ensure they are well looked after and shown the right path in life stressful as being a mum ever is. What i find hard to get my head around at the moment most of all is the rejection and nastyiness from my own mum, the one person in my life i should be able to turn too and trust and now cant. As for my husband takes 2 to argue and for things to go wrong but i guess i tried and at this time he cant try for whatever reason and thats his loss. Who knows whats around the corner for any of us at the moment just going to have to take each day as it comes and just concentrate my efforts as i always do on my kids especially george and just hope that i get a day in my life where i can look back and say that all this stress of sorting george out was hard but i got over it and manage to ever live on some sort of even keal. As for the samaritans i looked on their web site earlier (how spooky that u went down that route too) i have also emailed relate to organise some councelling for myself to try and deal with my crappy upbringing and of course my marriage now.

As for work i had a full time management job earning decent money and had company car, due to problems with george and him getting excluded due to his sepecial needs i had to resgin couldnt manage home and george at such a criticle time in his life. So now i stay at home with him hes only on part time schooling at the moment with the LEA as he is permenantly excluded from school. I get maintenance from his real dad and my tax credits and dla and careres allowence which is getting me by but now i have left my old job i have recently applied to ofsted to become a registered childminder im going to have my friends little girl after school and in hols which will allow me to still get tax credits but be home for my kids too. Is going to help my friend out and give me an income too. George is farmiliar with my friends daughter so i dont see it posing too much of a problem. Will have to work out whats best for george long term but i have to try and earn some money. I have a mortgage so cant claim anything for housing costs and if i claim income support will be loads less than im used too and ill loose the maintenance i get for the twins so will be worse off i recon. Not an option to sell the house as this is my home and all george knows to move home at this stage would be devestating to not only george but my other 2 kids, bearing in mind the strain were already under. Although george has meltowns with me at home too as well as out in public etc this is still his safe zone at home if u get what i mean.