Aspergers/ASD support thread

fallen_angel_69

any body got any ideas how yo stop my dd making an inopropiate comment.She abosolutley loves John Barrowman (don't we all) and i'm taking her to a book signing in Birmingham next thurs head at school has said she can have day of to go as he knows they'll not get any work out of her that day if she doesn't get to go.She knows he's gay and he's married (civil partner) i just don't want to say your gay to him,wouldn't want him to feel offended or anything but she is just like that Once on a bus she took the ladies hat of her and told her it just looked like a stripy tea cosy that her nan keeps on the tea pot.She doesnt mean anything by it she just says what's on her mind.She's really excited and is taking her panto programme with her to get signed. A day of school a ride on the train and to meet someone she loves what more can she ask for (Although her mum really thinks its a shame she certainley wouldn't say no well i can dream any way )

PasturesNew

fallen_angel_69 wrote: »

any body got any ideas how yo stop my dd making an inopropiate comment. She abosolutley loves John Barrowman (don't we all) and i'm taking her to a book signing in Birmingham next thurs head at school has said she can have day of to go as he knows they'll not get any work out of her that day if she doesn't get to go.She knows he's gay and he's married (civil partner) i just don't want to say your gay to him,wouldn't want him to feel offended or anything but she is just like that

I think the only way round this is to pre-prepare little cards with minimal writing on to be handed out immediately something is said/done, that explains without discussion being needed. Then just slip him a card if she says anything and leave it at that. Just hand it over and smile in an "oops!" way. No idea on wording though. But I feel if you say something she'll just get upset and it will ruin her day. And I'm sure he's heard it 1000 times before and it's not an insult. It's a fact.

fallen_angel_69 wrote: »

Once on a bus she took the ladies hat of her and told her it just looked like a stripy tea cosy that her nan keeps on the tea pot.

I get fixated on this sort of stuff... god it's hard for me to not do that!

fallen_angel_69 wrote: »

She doesnt mean anything by it she just says what's on her mind.She's really excited and is taking her panto programme with her to get signed. A day of school a ride on the train and to meet someone she loves what more can she ask for (Although her mum really thinks its a shame she certainley wouldn't say no well i can dream any way )

As I said above. Let her say "you're gay". Slip him a card. Smile and move on. It would be a shame to spoil it for her with any discussions before/after about how bad it is to say stuff.

And ... find it funny yourself... obviously don't pee yourself laughing on the spot. But once you get outside you can

fallen_angel_69

Probarley will start to laugh it's hard not to when she comes out with things like that sometimes it really hard not to .The worst time i think trying not to laugh at something she had done was when she was at nursery and she had been painting and she asked the teacher where to wash her hands and the teacher either didn't hear her or was to slow telling her and she just wiped her hands all down the teachers blouse and skirt,when the teacher told me i just stood there listening and then i asked her why she did it she just said "well they were dirty and i didn't know where to clean them " you just can't argue with that kind of remark it was logical to her she hates her hands being dirty

well the papers from the lea came this morning for me to fill in for getting her statmented and it helps that cass (cov autism support)were in school assesing her and i have meet with head on 28th

blue_monkey_2

Hi fallen angel,

kust read your post, John Barrowman is lovely and there is no way he has hidden his private life and openly discusses it on chat shows so there is no way he would be offended. He has done work for Children In Need so he must beaware of AS so just smile nicely and explain. He comes across as such a nice person though I think you are worrying for nothing, you are lucky though. it might even mean you get to spend some extra time with him when everyone else gets shoved along. I have been to a book signing before and they don't allow the sliping of cards and the like so you may not be able to do this but maybe have some ready but I really do think you have nothing else to worry about. How old is she BTW.

blue_monkey_2

sarah1075, have you claimed DLA yet? Also make sure you call tex credits when your wage goes down, once you get DLA then the money is backdated (get it in now) and then you can get a higer rate tax credit award too.

Can't offer more help, have you called Social Services to ask if there is anything more to do? i don;t know what else to suggest.

It is getting harder to type as Ryan is trying to 'help' by slamming his and mine hands on the keyboard.

blue_monkey_2

Called the council this morning to find out if I was awarded any medical points yesterday and apparently, if I have been a letter will be sent out. if I haven't then I guess I am still just waiting. I'll let you know if and whan I get a letter. I had a dream last night that we had been offered a house in the village in the next road down, I was so excited I forgot to ask where we got the keys from so I called them back to find out and she said hold on, I'll find out, put me on hold and.......... the kids woke me up. Doh!! Now I'll never know. LOL!!

fallen_angel_69

Dd2 is 9 and her sister is 15 also with asd.dd2 is more outspoken than dd1 but she funny with it and when she knows i'm going to tell her off she does this puppy dog look and daft bat that i am fools for it every time.considering thet both have asd they couldn't be more different dd1 likes her own space no hugs only when she wants one loves music and staying in bed late night late mornings it takes lots shouting in morning dd2 wants hugs all the time to go to bed you have to scratch head for at least an hour late to bed and up at4.30-5am every day even at weekends sometimes i'd kill for some sleep

sarah1975uk

blue_monkey wrote: »

Called the council this morning to find out if I was awarded any medical points yesterday and apparently, if I have been a letter will be sent out. if I haven't then I guess I am still just waiting. I'll let you know if and whan I get a letter. I had a dream last night that we had been offered a house in the village in the next road down, I was so excited I forgot to ask where we got the keys from so I called them back to find out and she said hold on, I'll find out, put me on hold and.......... the kids woke me up. Doh!! Now I'll never know. LOL!!

aww just hate it when you dream something and just want to get to the end of it to find an outcome lol typical mostly always get woken up before the end eh.:rotfl:

As for John Barrowman such a shame he is gay hes absaloutley georgeous.:rolleyes:

PasturesNew

Thanks

blue_monkey wrote: »

I wanted to post this because I did not want you to feel isolated and alone.

Thank you.

blue_monkey wrote: »

... something relatively new to be diagnosed ... for us I think it runs in the family, but none of us have ever been diagnosed.

Yes, I first heard the word when my sister said "I think dad has Aspergers" and now I see he does. But he doesn't know.

Over Xmas I mentioned it to my other sister and she said my other sister has it. Clearly my other sister doesn't realise she has it yet either.

So I appear to be the only one who has taken it on board and looked.

There are no children in our family. 3 daughters, no kids. So there is no contact with other family kids to have had this spotted in the younger generation. My father is not from the UK and so no access to any cousins who might have, although there are only 2 cousins on his side of the family anyway and only one baby now. So the whole family will be either side of the "diagnosis years" and separated by geography.

blue_monkey wrote: »

... learnt through the years how to deal with life because we have just 'had to'...

Yes. You have to, because there's no alternative. That's why I've always said to people I do the things I do. I have to work because that's how you get money. I have to go through all the horrid experiences in life caused by interacting with others because I have to. There is no alternative.

blue_monkey wrote: »

I used to say things without thinking and it has got me into many a trouble - I have now learned not to do it otherwise people get offended. And there are times when I have to take a deep breathe and not say anything as the thing I want to come out is not something appropriate.

When I've been told I was harsh, or upset people or whatever, I've never understood why. So I've ended up often saying nothing when I can. But often it's out before I know because I can only know it's not right when I've been told.

blue_monkey wrote: »

... about looking at something ... the very simple things in life amaze me at times and I will take it all in.

Yes, I do this a lot. I focus on small things, notice/stare then go into my own world. Doesn't even have to be anything interesting or special. Just the end of a pattern on a curtain, a corner of a letter on a sign.

blue_monkey wrote: »

... you tend to tailor your life around yourself and deal with the life things throw at you. .... I am kind of guessing you do not have a child so, for you, you come first and you have been able to seek this diagnosis.

Yes I have managed to build a life in the last few months based almost entirely around "me". Now I know what has caused my life problems I will be able to structure that life even better.

No, I have no children. I am Ye Olde Spinster. Never lived with anybody, never married, no kids.

Not formally diagnosed yet. Only really discovered I am AS in October. Not even signed up with a Doctor where I live yet (things like this can take years as I avoid doing things not totally necessary - and I had an AS meltdown in a Doctor waiting room about 5 years ago and I know it is in my notes as I saw it noted, so I don't like going to Doctors in case they thought I was a loony as my file is clearly flagged!)

blue_monkey wrote: »

A few years back I was told by a prospective employer that I must have been hiding something because I would not look at him when I spoke .... I thought on it for a good many years ..

My life has been dotted with hundreds of little instances like this that have been haunting me, trying to find answers to why people have said certain things to me. And now I can see each one was where I was different and somebody had picked up on it. So it's given me closure on all those times as now I know what went on, what they meant/why they said it.

blue_monkey wrote: »

I know what I am trying to say but it often does not come out in the right way.

This is a familiar feeling

Chollita

PasturesNew wrote: »

Thanks


Thank you.


Yes, I first heard the word when my sister said "I think dad has Aspergers" and now I see he does.

I think my mum has it to a degree.

Not even signed up with a Doctor where I live yet (things like this can take years as I avoid doing things not totally necessary - and I had an AS meltdown in a Doctor waiting room about 5 years ago and I know it is in my notes as I saw it noted, so I don't like going to Doctors in case they thought I was a loony as my file is clearly flagged!)

Me too - only registered when I really HAD to!