Aspergers/ASD support thread

281273

Ive got a 12yr old son with high functioning ASD and also a 2yr old daughter who is starting to go through assesment for ASD. also i have a 4yr old daughter who doesnt show any signs of anything.

I realised somethineg was different with my son when he was 18months old. He was finally diagnosed at the nearly 8yrs old. I spent those years fighting for a diagnosis and was passed from peadiatrician to CAMHS back to the school (Who wouldnt do anything because he wasnt violent). The School nurse said if he was to knife someone he would get some help!!!! Finally the school counsellor noticed some of his tendancies and she recommend going beck to CAMHS. After a very quick assesment period. (We went every week for a few months) we finally got the diagnosis. Now ive got to start this all again with my daughter. Her tendancies are more pronounced so hopefully this process will be much easier.

MyUserNamesTaken

PasturesNew wrote: »

I understand that there are 4 boys to every girl diagnosed.

I wouldn't say I was a tom-boy as such, my sister was more of a tom boy so maybeit's just a relative perception. But, looking down that route, I'd say of me:
- I never had dolls/didn't like dolls
- I loved the train set/cars
- I loved climbing trees/walls
- I couldn't be loud and bossy, that was my sister's job
- I've never "done" hair/makeup/clothes. Even now I am sitting here with about 3" of roots showing in streaked hair and I haven't even brushed my hair for about 2 weeks, I just pull it up in a scrunchy. Nobody sees it/me anyway
- I've never wanted children
- I don't like babies, if somebody at work were to bring one in, I'd hide in the loos until they've gone
- I used to fix all my own cars, mechanically/change brake shoes etc
- I have a boy's viewpoint on a lot of issues, mainly issues where I really don't understand why most women are so irrational about some things.
- I have absolutely ZERO taste in clothes. Don't know what suits/fits. NO idea about colour or coordination. No idea about style whatsoever. Never have had. So I don't bother. I wear jeans and hoodies all the time mostly.

I'm sure I could find more, but really, nobody's reading

Forgot to add these bits about me:

As a child, I loved to take things apart - my mum's vacuum cleaner, the video recorder, etc, etc...I first fixed my mum's broken vacuum when I was 7. I still fix things now - but have moved on slightly to cracking stuff...why? I want to know how things work the way they do. I love fixing cars. I fix things in the house when they go wrong. I like the challenge of fixing things. I fix pcs, etc, too.....I used to have a thing about taking watches apart as a child - just to see how they worked. I had a thing for motorways and roads (maps of them, not the driving on them). I was totally and completely obsessed with the London Underground (could draw it from memory). Other girls had posters of pop stars and crap on their walls...Me? I had the London Underground plastered everywhere (any leaflet I could get, I would put up on my walls). I'm a misogynist - I can't stand (most) women. Strange, considering I'm female myself. Don't care about fashion, don't care about make-up. Don't want to stand at the school gate talking about dirty nappies and other such inane crap. In fact, I find I have very little in common with the other mums, other than I am a mum. I used to go to school in the blazing heat wearing my blazer, school jumper, etc...In winter, I would forget to wear a coat. My old form teacher complained to my parents that I'd turn up to school looking like I'd been dragged through a hedge backwards.

Savvy_Sue

I'm reading, PN ... :rotfl: but no time to post right now ... g2g

Chollita

I wasn't a typically girly girl, either. Did play with dolls, but also had a trainset at age 3, and loved Sci-fi. Never been good with make-up, in fact have now decided it is utterly pointless. Tend to wear jeans & t-shirts.

None of the relationships I've had have ever started conventionally. One was a disaster. My current Mr is lovely,although I think he's going through the male menopause LOL, he's been so grumpy lately. My doctor said to him that he needs support too, and that is true, the families often get forgotten.

NoahsPennilessMummy

Zziggy....your daughter sounds like my son who is 4 and was diagnosed at 2 with autism.....i know its a stressful time so if there is anything i can help with please ask.

blue_monkey_2

NPM - is this right because I can see my daughter in Zziggys DD too - this is why I mentioned it. My DD does something - and has done since she was 7/8 months old. It does tend to be if she cannot get her own way or if she is bored but she will lie on the sofa and put her hand inside the top of her kickers (on the waistband pulling it away from her skin) and she just kind of like makes this weird noise. I have been through the doctors loads of times having swabs, she was close to having an op under GA but I put it off because it had got better - they wanted to check there was nothing stuck inside such as a piece of nappy. If she has clothes on she does not want to wear she will do the same as well, if I have asked her to do something she doesn't want to do she does the same. You all have me worried now, maybe I will speak to the peadiatrician about her too, just mention it in passing kind of thing. She was having a major strop with me last week and I was sorting the washing and she came through and tried to lift my DS bike to throw it at me (thankfully it was to heavy for her). I just thought all kids had tantrums like this. Do you think it is something to worry about??

samf1971

My DS puts his hand down the back of his nappy (as if scratching his botty!) I presumed it was maybe a stress or calming thing to do , at first I thought he was scratching but he doesn't, just does it now & again

blue_monkey_2

Hmmmm..... interesting. I spent 3 1/2 years at the docs thinking she had something serioursly wrong and her having untold tests and they said vaginitus (sp.) she definately does it when frustratrated over something, she also bites herself when she cannot get her own way. Certainly makes me wonder. Can you make an appointment to see the doctor without your kids and it be for them, IYKWIM, do you think that it is worth going to the doctor about? The doc has been really supportive in trying to establish what her problem is so do you think it is worth making an appointment and speaking to her?

Oh, and does anyone give their kids Kalms. My friend (who's son is ASD/Aspergers and is residential) told me tonight if Ryan was giving me a hard time to try some kalms. Now I have not actually asked if she meant then for him or me, LOL. So does anyone else know without me looking a fool and asking? She might think I am trying to drug my child if she meant them for me, LOL.......

Savvy_Sue

I don't know about making an appointment without taking your child, but you can certainly phone the GP and / or Health Visitor and mention these things.

Also, wrt Kalms, do read the instructions first because there may be a recommended minimum age, and I would not give them beneath this age. 'Natural' does not mean 'harmless'.

studentphil

PasturesNew wrote: »

Aspies and Marriage

I read that Aspies rarely marry.

I am single, never married, never lived with anybody, no children.
I am late 40s.
It is unlikely to happen now.

This isn't through any lack of desire to hook up with people, or even because there's something especially distasteful about the way I look. It's just, I think now, that I have never seen nor made any of the "dating signals" required. If anybody ever pursued me I would be edgy/anxious in their presence and many of my Aspie traits would have made conversation with me a peculiar experience from their point of view.

In fact, I have always said to people: "If the man of my dreams walks in here right now I'll take a quick peek, then I won't ever look again in case he sees me looking". That whole eye-contact things sucks eh! Never wanted to make eye contact with a bloke I fancied. Worra nut I was/am?

So I guess most who entertained the thought of dating me simply gave up trying to spot a signal being given out, or just wrote me off as "a bit weird, can't quite work out what, but odd".

If a bloke is talking to me, I've always taken it as that: a conversation. And, in ensuring clarification over things I was probably quite rigid/formal in my initial speech as I was trying to work out the score and if I needed to be wary. In doing this I now realise I have made strange defensive statements. Now I think back I seem to recall quite a few have almost leapt back saying something along the lines of "no need to be so defensive". Which, I am afraid, made me more so because their sudden change of voice/attitude startled me and made me more anxious.

Worra mess eh!!

Honestly dealing with people as an AS or normal person is very hard. People either don't listen or take stuff the wrong way. I think eye contact is difficult if you like a person romantically as it is hard to know what is enough but not too much and it's a confidence thing too.
I do having a feeling that AS men do marry more than AS women for what ever reason. I think romance is tricky because people want to touch and come into your personal space and grab hold of you and so on, which is just a bit too much.