Queen Bee fighting for her Hive!

Queen_of_the_Hive

Just to follow on with a more positive post. With this months payday. I have managed to shave off £50 each on CC2 and CC3 which is great to see. CC2 has two balance transfers of which the next one to come out of the 0% is in January so my plan is to get that paid off as the amount is doable. CC1 is my big headache and one of the reasons i get sad. This is my day to day credit card and its gaining interest every month. I'd love to be able to pay decent amounts into it but i just don't have the means. I'm hoping with the extra overtime in Oct pay I can hit this amount as it just rises and rises until I balance transfer. I just want to get out of this cycle.

Up to this week I'd been doing great guns with my exercising and dieting using my fitness pro but its all gone to pot so tomorrow I'm getting myself back on track.

Money_maker

Chin up, two steps forward and one step back. You come over as naturally pretty positive so hang on to that. Getting back to exercising will help a lot - feeling good about yourself is so uplifting. You can do it.

Queen_of_the_Hive

Ergh its a Tully wet Sunday! Thanks Moneymaker - I'm definitely getting there.

Yesterday was megabusy at work, nearly at work for todays shift. Last night I popped in Primark to get my boys matching tops for school photos. Excited as this will be the first with my youngest in school nursery & my eldest in yr 3.

Queen_of_the_Hive

Happy tuesday! Today is one of those days all parents dread - having a sick kid! We are all coming down with a cold and my two kids have it. The older one is coughing but fine, the younger one is suffering. Yesterday he had a miserable day in nursery, has an awful cough so its a day at home for him with mum. Sadly today I was meant to be doing my extra shift at work, gutted to have to say goodbye to that bit of extra (much needed!) cash but kids come first. My partner works nights during the weekend - he volunteered to look after him but after coming off his last night shift he can't have no sleep so that's how it is.

Yesterday I was on a bit of a roll with applications for jobs - applied for three and decided to use £100 of money which i'd borrowed from my partner in the summer to pay into my credit card as I seemed to be managing ok. I also checked my cashback credit card and it looks like I currently have enough for £30 of Amazon vouchers, so will go towards my kids christmas gifts. I'm wanting to get the eldest walki-talkis and i think i can get some within this budget

beanielou

Hope the kids are on the mend soon:)

darrannah

Great diary, keep your chin up, it can be done.
Great news on the veggie patch, I have an allotment and LOVE the fresh fruit and veg, try some carrots as well, (these can be grown in tubs) and although it's a little late for Xmas now, if you have any old potatoes that have sprouted, plant these for potatoes in January, good luck on the growing
Hope the family feels better soon,
Suzy xx

Queen_of_the_Hive

Thanks Beanielou and Darranah - many thanks for your kind words of encouragement.

The youngest is back at nursery today - he could probably have gone yesterday. If only I could predict what they will be like during the day! Anyway the older one has woken up white as a sheet, crying which is completely out of character. Anyway quick sip of water and he is vomiting!! grrrrr! Its a triple whammy! He can't go to school, today was school trip which I volunteered to help with but can't go now! Feel bad about that!!

Last night I spent a bit of time revising my total debt list. I knew I had borrowed £800 from my partner in the summer and £500 overdraft but did not include this in the figures - I guess I just didn't really want to be faced with the true sum of my problems. It just makes me glum but I finally decided it was time to be honest with myself and my figures. So my grand total of current debt is £10160.28 plus £420 for a pre booked family holiday. This figure is a mixture of money borrowed from family, overdraft and credit cards. Its been built up over the past two years since I split from my exH. At times it feels like i'll never get out of this spiral but its not healthy to think negative so today I am feeling more determined than ever to do so. I have more job applications to do, I need to continue chipping away at my studies, update my linkedin profile and get my butt out of the door for a run. With the rain I've not been out for a while and missing it. Have a good day everyone

Queen_of_the_Hive

Happy (dark!) Thursday,

I'm up and working on a school admin job application form and thought it'd be a good distraction to write my diary entry.

I'm desperately counting down to 12th Oct - this is when my credit card moves on to new month, until then it is as much debt free spending as possible. The big bill which the school gave me has now been paid by ExH. He actually was really good about it (I asked him if he would pay it all as I don't have any of the money) so this is one less bill to worry about.

I have also put £50 more into my current credit card from some money which is in an account for the kids. I'd spent the money and more in the summer holidays. I'm also setting up a savings account attached to the kids account to put a bit of money aside each month for the summer holidays next year.

In my local town we have an Aldi opening today so i'll probably take a nosy down there later. I want to buy leeks and potatoes to make soup for the weekend at work. I went on the scales this morning and it was the lowest it has been for a looooong time by 0.01kg so I am chuffed. My fitness pal is helping. I'd been going around and around for months... so hopefully this is the cycle change I needed. We'll see. I also went for a run yesterday even though I wasnt in the mood. Im going for a run today again.

warby68

Its obvious that the key for you is a new (or additional) job which I'm sure will come given the determination you show and that you are already shortlisting. Its just may take time.

In the meantime your commitments seem to be more than your income and you are under an awful lot of pressure. You haven't posted an SoA but just wondering if your current set up, both with your partner and your ex are actually fair to you. Without prying, just floating whether you are getting the proper income related to your children given they seem to fully live with you M-F at least, either child support or benefits. Also whether your new parter (who seems supportive as he offered childcare after a nightshift) and you have the bills set up reasonably for your circumstances. Does he really want the money you owe him back and would he shoulder a bit more for the time being if he knew and does he know how under pressure you are?

These are personal questions so no answers needed if you prefer, but your stress and mood swings seem quite significant and getting to a position where you could just actually stand still financially and breathe while you wait for the job might help a lot.

Queen_of_the_Hive

Hi Warby - thanks for your thoughtful post. I'm very lucky my partner is really supportive and putting no pressure on me at all. I am my own worst enemy TBH. I am a proud person and walking away from my home and comfortable situation has hit me hard. I used to have a job I loved but it turned sour and with other personal stuff its been a rocky road for the past few years. Leaving my house last year has been a difficult adjustment and I just see myself as a bit of a failure because of it, I've got myself in debt too and every month it currently grows which left me feeling hopeless. Instead of feeling out of control, I started this diary as a way to gain control and break one or two bad habits. My situation is definitely improving in baby steps and I do generally feel happier in myself and what I can achieve. I still have hurdles to cross with regards to balancing out the child costs with ExH but there are some reasons why it is so currently. When these hurdles are crossed I'll get the support sorted.

A job with some meaning is definitely what I need and want. I am trying to make a career change on top of everything else and study etc. I'm trying the apprenticeship route just to gain some new experience and use it as an affordable way to study. I'd love to do another degree but I don't want the financial burden that goes with it so professional qualifications are now the way for me. It may also inspire my kids (the older one perhaps) that there are alternatives to university when that time comes.