Queen Bee fighting for her Hive!

Queen_of_the_Hive

Its Easter Sunday and I have put myself in a forced detox. Basically I am enjoying being home and stuffing my face with way too many calories and then regretting it the morning after, kinda like a chocolate hangover! Its now nearly 6pm and I have been a good girl so far today. I'm going to move the sweet treats later tonight after the kids are in bed. 

Tomorrow is my monthly debt review day but seeing as we are in lock down and middle of Easter weekend and not planning to spend any money I brought it forward by a day. So I am pleased to report I have now paid off £995.59 of my £10569.02 debt to date! So close to nearly 1k! Wow. This is a happy hopping 9.42% reduction! My savings have increased a bit too, not much mind but last month my ISA was deep down a dark well! Its improved a bit. As much as I'd like to buy a bit of this and that I am really trying to use this lock down situation to my advantage where I can. Updated debt chart for a bit of fun! 



The veggie garden is taking shape. Today I planted courgette saplings so we will see how they get on. I have found them pretty easy in the past so I am hoping this is the case now. My strawberry plants are starting to flower too. 

beanielou

All good on debt front 

Queen_of_the_Hive

I have been a bit quiet on here recently, I think we all have tbh. 

Not much to report, just keeping busy in lockdown whilst working from home and making a bad job of home schooling. eek! Enjoying watching the Andrew Lloyd theatre shows every weekend and the nice weather. Still spending too much on food but not much on anything else so its kinda balancing itself out. 

Queen_of_the_Hive

Morning all, yet another beautiful morning and i'm not working yay! 

This morning I paid my monthly bills and happy to report first payment on to the newest balance transfer card; one down 25 payments to go. I have to say I am ever so grateful I am in a position to pay my debts this month. I know this is difficult for so many in this current situation . 

So one of my favourite things about being in lock down is being in a position to get the veggie patch up and running. I have been dreaming about doing this for years but life just got in the way. Well when I moved into my current rental last year and discovered we had a modest veggie plot already created by the previous tenants this was the perfect opportunity so back in autumn I planted some broad bean seeds and to my shock and amazement three seedlings began to grow. These have flourished and now I have tall plants with growing seed pods! cannot believe my luck! I've now gone on to plant carrot seeds, courgettes, bought and planted strawberry plants and the newest addition to the plot is french beans. In seed trays I have baby tomato plants, herbs and peppers. This is completely for fun and if we get a bit of vegetables I will be chuffed. I have also been learning about tumbling compositing! I'm also greatful to be able to spend a bit more time at home with family. We get irritated of each other but such as life! Hope everyone is keeping well. 

Drawingaline

So many of the diaries I am following seem to be making vege gardens!! And some have allotments too. A wealth of experience. I am not the best with gardening, but have been keeping it tidy. 

missymoo81

Hi Clarissa62! I’ve just read your whole diary from start to finish. I’m loving how positive you are despite the difficult situation we’re all in. I’ll keep popping in, you’ve inspired me to try and grow a few things, I have a tiny garden but can plant in pots I think I’d like to try runner beans. Years ago I had great success with chillis but very little else! Despite everyone else around me having great success with courgettes! I think I’ll try these again. Do you know a cheap online place to get seeds? Keep up the amazing work x

Queen_of_the_Hive

Good evening everyone, 

Today has been one of my most emotionally draining days and really I am not sure how I feel. In my private life I havent shied away from my struggles and in the past few years I have really struggled. Never to the point of harming myself or doing anything lasting but its been a struggle. I have already documented in my diary that starting a new job in January not only was a massive thing for me but its brought its big pressures too. I worry constantly that I am going to lose my job and my fears have brought on problems alongside having a very difficult manager and the lock down situation and I am ashamed of the situation I find myself in. This morning I read yet another negative email and this was the last straw and resigned from the job out of the blue. Somehow the manager hasn't accepted the resignation yet but now wants to speak to me tomorrow. As a mum the pressures of having kids at home, going through the emotional side of giving up my house and divorce and being in lock down on top of the pressure I have put myself in with the job has just become all too much. I'm still in probation period, that's up for review on the 7th. 

I guess I really want to make a record of the day as this has been particularly bad and just give a bit of support to others that are going through hard times, especially at this moment in time. In my situation I don't feel supported by my line manager, friends and family suggest its bully tactics and really in general its every negative thing I do is recorded. What I actually need is support and a few kind words and really in life this is more important than money. 

So although yesterday I was pleased to pay my bills this month, I really not sure what tomorrow will bring. Please anyone who reads this please keep smiling and your head held high. 

[Deleted User]

Hello Clarissa. I feel.your pain on the job front. I'm in a similar position except I'm currently not in work and have been off for 6 weeks. It's hard isn't it? Something just snapped in me and I went to the Dr and got signed off. They obviously don't want you to leave and so see what tomorrow brings. Sending a hug x

beanielou

Sorry that things are so tough. 

Keep plodding 😊

missymoo81

Oh hun poor you! Sounds awful! But it really does sound like the job is really getting you down and stressing you out. It’s worrying that your mental health and home life are suffering because of it. Maybe it’s just not for you. Spend the evening thinking about what you really want and see what OH thinks and if you could cope without the income or if you would be entitled to benefits Entitledto.co.uk might help. There's nothing more important than your mental health and your family x please chat if you need to x