Fed up of the bragging

Legacy_user

We both work hard and pay our way and yet we cant afford nice holidays and its beginning to get to me especially as im doing 60 hours plus a week and arent getting any younger. We are getting quite fed up of the recent bragging of our friends and family come to that about their expensive holidays and been told "why dont you treat yourselves" i only wish we could afford to. My Oh is now getting convinced that some of them are doing it delibrately. I try and let it go over my head but before long i can see someone is going to get both barrels from a very short distance. We now havent had a holiday in 8 years. Quite a few of our friends have now retired at 55 and certainly arent struggling i cant and will have to carry on till 67. I just get the feeling that we are lookied down on by some. One friend of my wifes who hasnt done a stroke in her life is one of the worse bragging on about the new house and the holidays etc her OH also gave up 55 and says he fell on his feet when he got his pension. Ok eat me alive if you want we cant feel any worse at the moment sat here in the rain lol

AylesburyDuck

I havnt had a holiday abroad (or in this country either) for 30 years.
So what?

building_with_lego

They're probably up to their eyeballs in debt, or exaggerating to make themselves feel better.

Say, "That's nice." and change the subject- what funny weather it's been/ isn't Brexit exciting/ I really enjoyed... on the telly etc. They may be doing it on purpose, or may have nothing else in their lives to talk about.

Can you afford a few days off in order to holiday locally? There are always museums and exhibitions for free or a few pounds, and you will have much more interesting things to talk about than someone else's holiday when they start up again.

MoneySeeker1

Sounds like time to find a new set of friends imo and better sooner than later.

Been there/done that myself with one (now ex) friend and it wasn't bragging, but it was a different set of values. One of the last straws being when I noticed she wasn't averse to commiting minor thefts and even expected me to find it "clever" of her to do so. Wow!!

Now ex-friend and it's certainly striking me that she had a habit of making me feel bad and so I guess she should have been an (ex) one sooner.

It is the case that sometimes part or all of the reason people have more money than you is because they do things you aren't prepared to do for some of that money (eg cadging, stealing, etc).

Who needs friends that make you feel bad about yourself? Isn't it better to have ones that leave you feeling neutral about yourself or, better still, making you feel more positive/happier/etc.

KxMx

If you are working all those hours then where is your money going?

Perhaps if you made a few cutbacks and compromises you could afford a holiday occasionally, it's clearly important to you.

Mojisola

Nikond4 wrote: »

We both work hard and pay our way and yet we cant afford nice holidays

We are getting quite fed up of the recent bragging of our friends and family come to that about their expensive holidays and been told "why dont you treat yourselves" i only wish we could afford to.

I just get the feeling that we are looked down on by some.

If you are willing to post your financial info on the Debt-free Board, people will help if there are any ways to cut your expenditure.

You can't do much about the family (apart from reduce the time you spend with them) but I'd certainly be looking for new friends.

Even if you are being looked down on by these people, you can change the way you feel about it - build up your own self-esteem and ignore their comments.

Sea_Shell

Friends is easy...find new friends!! Or just tell them not everyone want to hear about their latest blah blah blah.

With family, it's much trickier. We keep ourselves to ourselves financially, as we know there are huge disparities amongst us. Lying even, to avoid "bragging".

Whatever your financial status, there will always be someone with substantially more (or less) than you.

Most of us are somewhere on the scale between Richard Branson and a homeless park-bencher.

You have to let it go, and lead your own life, within your own means. So what if they've got a new Mercedes, or been to the Maldives on holiday.

You cannot change them, you can only change your reaction to them.

prowla

I haven't had a holiday for a while now.


I did buy a new car this year, though!

elsien

You don't have to go abroad to have a nice holiday.
I've done some lovely caravan park holidays through the Sun/daily mail type offers just using the caravan as a base to explore the area. This year's caravan is costing about £80 for the two of us for four nights. Barbecue and bottle of wine for dinner. All day out on the beach or visiting places of interest - gardeners world two for one offer is a fine thing. Take a picnic if you're being moneysaving.
You can have a very good holiday without breaking the bank.

Pollycat

We are in the lucky position of both being retired well before state pension age.
One friend speculated that we'd won the lottery.
I pointed out that one difference was that we'd not had children - all friends in our circle did - so I'd worked full time since I was 16.
I'd worked myself up though my company - involving a lot of travel and unpaid overtime - whilst the women were either doing the school run or doing part time jobs for pin money.
We both have decent occupational pensions as a result of that hard work.

We also always lived within our means.
Although we do have holidays abroad several times a year, I don't think we gloat about it.
And I don't feel that my our friends resent our financial position.

If your wife's friend who hasn't worked a day in her life has a new house and lots of holidays, it's either funded by her husband's pension or they are on a 'buy now, pay later' journey.

You can't help it if you and your wife don't have the funds to retire early and go on holidays and your friends/family can't help it if they can afford to do that.

You either have to put up with the 'bragging' or stop them doing it.
Better to sort it out now rather than let it fester and 'give them both barrels from a short distance'.

Claddagh_Noir

Chances are, these people who are bragging are in debt to their eyeballs, they may for the holidays by credit card and still pay for it years down the line. Never compare yourself to other people. They may act like everything is peachy-creamy to all and sundry but they are more than likely they are as miserable as sin. All that glitters isn't gold. I bet they post this all over social media... let's hope they are not broadcasting this at the same time as being away as people will know when their house is empty.

Some people probably like to have a nice little nest egg for a rainy day, some people probably are saving for their legacy/descendants inheritance etc.

Again, do not compare yourself to other people, these people whom you feel inferior to because of the abundance of gallivanting they do you clearly do not like so why allow them to affect your ego and take up space in your mind - for free??!