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How often do you chat to your grown up children? - Page 2

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How often do you chat to your grown up children?

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  • comeandgocomeandgo Forumite
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    Both my daughters Skype or phone at least twice a week. I don't often contact them as they are so busy so leave it to them to contact me when they have the time and inclination.
  • ceewashceewash Forumite
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    Flugelhorn wrote: »
    phoning is much more intense - texting / messaging doesn't have to be answered immediately

    I agree. They can answer in their own time and it only takes a second.
  • edited 10 August 2019 at 3:48PM
    ska_loverska_lover Forumite
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    edited 10 August 2019 at 3:48PM
    It completely depends on the situation.

    I don't think their is any normal. - I mean my family is pretty fluffed up, to be honest

    Some people want to chat, some need support, some have been unwell, and some need space, busy lives, and some just plainly don't want to know

    I have some form of contact with one of my ''little-uns'' every couple of days, late 20s, has had some issues and illness for a long time, but on the mend a bit now :) which is fantastic!! It may be a text, or a phone call or even just a smiley face emoji. They ring whenever they like and I love hearing how things are. I try and pace contact to suit them though and don't want to helicopter, now they are recovering - they want to live a regular life on their terms IYSWIM. But things were pretty hairy for a while there with their illness and I have to stop myself ringing every five minutes haha

    My own parents withdrew from family life nearly two decades ago, moved as far away as they could get (within the UK).

    I speak to my Dad once every couple of months - always on his terms, but his phone is permanently on silent mode, so I cannot contact him.

    My Mum, I haven't spoken to her in years. We haven't argued etc, but plainly speaking, she just simply doesn't seem interested in any kind of family life with any of her offspring / grand-kids, or great-grand-kids she doesn't even know exist. My parents are still together and she appears to make it uncomfortable for Dad to contact me, in the sense he rings me when he is not in the house.

    It is all weird and it is hard to explain - because even I, do not understand any of it (with my Mum) to be honest
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
  • PasturesNewPasturesNew Forumite
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    I'm orphaned now, but... when I did contact them:

    I used to "get round to it" about once every 3 weeks.

    I found that the best thing to do with contacting parents is to NOT set a routine. If you set a routine in any way they start to "expect" it - and then it's a chore. AND - you're in trouble if you don't stick to the "routine" they were living by and you just fell into.
  • mamanmaman Forumite
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    My DD1 is local and calls in about every 10 days on average, just for half an hour or so. In between we text /WhatsApp if we want to share something. She has a very demanding job so I leave it to her to time visits.

    DD2 isn't quite so local but months can go by and we don't hear. When she does visit she'll come for the day or maybe stay over and we'll have a meal or go out somewhere. So timewise it's probably similar.

    DD2 has needy in laws and I know they take up a lot of her free time. I think she knows that we're busy and happy so she doesn't need to worry about us and when she does visit it's a break for her.
  • mark5mark5 Forumite
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    I’m the child (39) I probably see my parents about once sometimes twice a month, I do send my mum a few texts every few days.
  • GingerSaurusGingerSaurus Forumite
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    I’m 33 and have a young baby. I see my mum most days at the moment. I speak to her every day, we usually text several times a day as well. Before I had the baby we would sometimes go a couple of days without speaking but never more than that.

    My husband’s parents live at the other end of the country and he’ll text them every few weeks. We usually see them once every year or two.
  • silvercarsilvercar Forumite, Board Guide
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    My boys are in their twenties. We can have quite long conversations by whats app, including in a family group.

    They generally phone when they want advice rather than just to chat. The younger one is better, probably because his GF speaks to her mother every day, so that encourages him. He will also pop in when he is passing.

    The older one can be a nightmare to get hold off, thank goodness he has an iPhone so I can see when messages have been read.

    I probably see them both about once a month, but I am generally the one to make the effort to make an arrangement.

    I phone my mother regularly twice a week, she phones me in between if she wants something.
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  • kangoorakangoora Forumite
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    The interval between text messages on my son's phone from me (the dad). One year, reminder to get mum a birthday present/card and call her on her birthday :D

    They probably rang once a term when at Uni and she probably called them about the same. She does monitor their facebook although neither are prolific on there either.

    We get on great when together, just don't see any need to be ringing/texting every week (or even more frequently for some).
  • lincroft1710lincroft1710 Forumite
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    When parents were alive it would be a once fortnightly phone call plus occasional short visit.

    OH and her daughter (late 40s) frequently Skype/phone and she regularly visits. Her son (late 30s) rarely communicates and OH has to make the effort
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