New Life Pending.....

Iwantanewlife

Deleted_User wrote: »

Glad I missed that last night x

i think it annoyed me more than it should of to be honest, blame my stress levels :rotfl:

However, it does bring home the fact that its no wonder so many people are in debt with national advice like this!! They need to put advisers like MoneyWhizz and EnthusiasticSaver, they would sort everyone out :rotfl:

Moneywhizz

Glad you feel that the school is supportive and looking out for your son. You should try not to be stressed about it. I'm not sure what it is like in the London area but in my area there is a lengthy wait to be seen by a professional so you don't want to be worrying for a prolonged period of time. Can your son explain to you why he is behaving like this in the classroom? It would be interesting to find out how he feels about it.
Regarding your finances during the next couple of months I agree that it would probably be best to pay less to your debt and build up a bit of a buffer to see you through until your pay is regular again. It may seem like a step back but it will only be for a very short time and there is no point leaving yourself short for covering your monthly expenditure.
I haven't seen the TV programme that you have been discussing but it sounds like there should be a complaint about it. The way that the banks manipulate people into debt is really criminal. They don't seem to realise the harm they are doing, or maybe they do and they just don't care. I love giving budgeting advice to people especially when they are willing to listen and actually take steps to change their ways. There is nothing more frustrating than spending time helping someone with their budgeting and it makes not a bit of difference. But that is when I need to try and not control what everyone around me is doing with their finances!
That is some goal you have to save such a big deposit in two years. You have undergone a complete transformation in your thinking about money. A great example to others in similar circumstances. .

Iwantanewlife

Thank you MoneyWhizz, means a lot coming from you. Yes, i think its a very large target, however, knowing myself as i do. The more ridiculous the target is, the harder i will try!

As for my son, I have asked him and he just says he gets bored and excited to do the next thing!

Iwantanewlife

The good thing about working my notice is I now have plenty of time to think things through. The main thing being money, and bridging the gap between pay days without all the hard work falling down around me. The motivated me wants to chuck all the money ive scrapped together for next pay days over payment at the debt, but after a couple of well placed comments on here im thinking im going to need to put it aside in savings just in case something goes wrong on the transition. Part of me is thinking that actually, when i was paying off the ridiculous APR loan i lived on nothing, and although it was hard, it was doable and i proved that. I know myself too well, and i know that if i have money sitting in an account it will get spent. But maybe that was the old me? I want this debt gone so badly, and being able to see the light is making me want it gone even quicker.

My other thoughts have been back around this company car vs car allowance debate we had a few weeks back. Ive been exploring my options again. After using the tax calculator, I will be losing nearly £500 pounds every month in tax on a company car. If i take the allowance, ill be not gaining money because it will be spent on a car, but i will be gaining an asset. I understand that its a risk in terms of if i lost my job i would still be left with the car, but actually the likelihood of me not finding employment along the same levels is pretty slim in my experience ( i hope i haven't jinxed myself ). The thought of actually owning an asset is really pulling me, rather than just always being reliant on company owned vehicles and paying a fortune for it in the process. I have had a soft credit check on a HP loan, and been approved with an APR of 8% which considering my credit rating, is much better than i thought i would get. I would also be able to overpay the loan with no penalties. I have applied different scenarios into my budget calculator, and i can make it all work still saving a base line £250 for the house deposit and live a nice quality of life. If i went full MSE i think i could shave another £100/£200 for savings. I have also included a budget for all yearly costs, even down to saving for my sons summer holiday child care fees which usually catch me out!

Arrggghhhhh my mind is swirling! All this uncertainty, although exciting for new beginnings its also making me feel nervous!!

Toni'sfriend

I

know myself to well, and i know that if i have money sitting in an account it will get spent. But maybe that was the old me?

Oh, I think that was most definitely the old you. xx

Iwantanewlife

Toni'sfriend wrote: »

I

Oh, I think that was most definitely the old you. xx

Thank you, i pray so! I hope you are well xx

Moneywhizz

I cant imagine you just blowing the money if you don't pay it off the debt. Your mindset has completely changed. You will probably find that it is much harder to spend your own money than it was to spend borrowed money.

I would always say that it is better not to lease cars, or have company cars if you have the option of buying your own. I know you had weighed it up and thought it would be the safer option, but if you are feeling more confident now I think it makes better sense in the long run. Lots of decisions to make!

girlatplay

Car - try buying a slightly older/lower spec car than what you have right now (I know it is a company car you have). It might not be all singing all dancing but it will be within budget and will be yours.

Salary bridge - it's worth holding back some funds to tide you over in case there is a gap in pay. I know you're desperate to pay it off the debt but there's no point in going backwards if it's avoidable. At least you have time to think about it and you can plan what you are going to do. The worst it will do will be push your DFD back a bit. It's worth taking that step back if necessary though.

Your son - I can't really say much here. Completely different but Little Miss struggled with learning and I kept asking the school to test her for dyslexia but they kept refusing. Eventually when she was in P7 (Scotland - I don't know what the equivalent is where you are - she was age 11) they tested her and diagnosed, yep, dyslexia. You're doing a fabulous job and you sound like a great mum so just keep doing what you're doing.

I'm glad you'll get a chance to have some time for fun this weekend

Drawingaline

Glad you feel that the school is being supportive, I hope it all works out.

My 10yr old is on the spectrum, is yr6 and coped pretty well until yr5. I am dreading him going to secondary, it's a whole new ball game!

My 7yr old is the disruptive child. Basically he is a child not suited to shool he has never settled from the beginning of yrR, he has been excluded for violence towards teachers and other students on numerous occasions (proper violence, chair throwing, headbutting, he threw a whole tray of weights at his teacher last month). He spent two terms in a special behaviour unit when he was yr1. He has made huge strides, but needs full time one to one care. I think he possibly has adhd with how he is, but he is, without doubt, on the autistic spectrum, but totally different to my 10yr old.

He is the most loving, gorgeous, imaginative, wonderful boy, who is funny and articulate when he is calm and secure. If he feels any kind of emotion though, he turns into a different child. He cannot speak, he screams, he lashes out, and he throws anything and everything. He is incredibly clever and way above his peers in most school work, but lacks confidence in his own abilities. It breaks my heart sending him to school every day into this environment that he hates. (he adores his one to ones though!) but I cannot afford to home school which is possibly the environment he would be suited best.

Other parents who claim their child is awful at home and a dream at school are lucky in my eyes. Every time my phone goes I am just waiting to find out what he has done this time. Luckily the school have had my older three children, so at least I know they are not judging our parenting!!

Sorry to hijack, I go a bit overboard about it sometimes, it's so difficult finding places I can offload safely. Very few people understand the stress and strain this kind of experience put on you.

enthusiasticsaver

Iwantanewlife wrote: »

So, 2nd part of the show ' Save well, Spend Better'. I have to say, watching it i felt so angry at one point i considered complaining to ofcom lol. The actually promoted consolidation loans, and advised that if you need more credit, simply switch your credit card - no mention of the fact that if you need more credit, you should look at your budget first as there is obviously a gap somewhere. So in my midst of anger, at all the people following this advice and the shows pure irresponsibility, i did some research. A simple google search shows the show is actually co funded by Lloyds Bank!!!! So its basically an extended advert for their services, does not have the consumers best interests at heart at all.

15 days till payday, although as i'm with Monzo i can actually release the money a day before. This is a god send as it gives me a few hours to divvy up my budget to my pots and cross reference my budget spreadsheet to my account, before all my DD's come out. I have to admit, im counting down the days!

Well done for researching the co sponsors of that show. That explains a lot. I watched the second show and was amazed how blas! they were about bankruptcy for the couple with the three kids and £67k of debt. Totally irresponsible programme with absolutely no emphasis on budgeting or changing spending habits. Also not a word about whether they owned a house and needed to protect the equity and maybe do a DMP instead.

You have had a tough week so doing something nice with your son and having some down time sounds good. I too will be sorting out my budget pots at the weekend as our pensions go in tomorrow.