Bought my first house and hate it, SO much

Crashy_Time

RelievedSheff said:

All houses are money pits!

That`s why cheaper housing for ordinary people is sorely needed in the UK.

WafflePancake

Hi Lumabones,

I'm 4 years late commenting but I can empathise with some of your feelings in this post. Me and my husband have just bought what we thought was our perfect first home - however after being in it for only a matter of days, the buyers regret started to set in. I took the week after we moved off work to organise the house and spent two of those days crying in bed. We'll of been in for 2 weeks this coming Saturday and I can't stand to be in it, I'm leaving the house at every opportunity. I too struggle with anxiety and depression and have done for a long time, so I don't know if the massive change and uprooting of our lives has caused my regret OR I it's a genuine regret. When we first viewed the house I walked in & said to my husband "I want to buy this house", but the next few times we viewed it I was impartial to be honest however, he had his heart set on it. Looking back now, I wish that we would of viewed a few more houses before putting our offer in and I'd scoped the area and commute times etc out. I feel so isolated and alone, I'm now 50 mins away from my family & friends and 1hr 15ish away from work, I'm not particularly fond of the area - it's ok but I feel like it isn't a scratch on where we previously lived (my husband is though, as he works there). The house is in good condition, it just needs modernising. Ideally we'd like to extend as the kitchen is so tiny, but cannot afford to do so for the next five years at least. We upgraded from a 2 bed (rented) house, to a 3 bed as we have a 14 month old and 3 cats, but I feel like we are more squished in this house. The neighbours are also very noisy (as we live in a cul-de-sac) and I feel like wherever I turn someone can see me from one of the windows, our previous neighbours were great - basically they became good friends. There's also so much red brick around (not that I have a problem with that) but I feel suffocated, previously you could see the hillside from our window and all the greenery made me feel free. I also feel so guilty as I know I am lucky to now have my own home and a good life, but I just hate that house. The sickly sweet smell of the person who lived there before just lingers in the air, the kitchen is badly designed, the bedrooms are smaller than what we had before (granted they look bigger when empty). And I know we could've measured up and done research etc. but we didn't and I'm angry at myself for that. As I sit here writing this at work, I literally do not want to go home to that house. I of course want to go home to my husband and child, but not that house. I guess my question is, how are you doing now? Did you learn to love the house? Are you still living there? What improvements did you make?

I really hope you managed to settle OR get out without any really tricky mental health problems.

Hopefully hear back form you soon!

TadleyBaggie

The OP hasn't logged on for over 8 months, suspect you won't get a response anytime soon.

RelievedSheff

Give yourself some time to settle in.

You never know, your new neighbours may become great friends.

We moved to a new town to a new build development where everyone was new. Nobody knew any of their neighbours. We have since made good friends with several of the neighbours and have drinks and evenings out together. 

Take some time to make the house your own. Decorate to your taste. Don't dwell on the fact it was owned by someone else first. Most homes are!!

Sarah1Mitty2

WafflePancake said:

Hi Lumabones,

I'm 4 years late commenting but I can empathise with some of your feelings in this post. Me and my husband have just bought what we thought was our perfect first home - however after being in it for only a matter of days, the buyers regret started to set in. I took the week after we moved off work to organise the house and spent two of those days crying in bed. We'll of been in for 2 weeks this coming Saturday and I can't stand to be in it, I'm leaving the house at every opportunity. I too struggle with anxiety and depression and have done for a long time, so I don't know if the massive change and uprooting of our lives has caused my regret OR I it's a genuine regret. When we first viewed the house I walked in & said to my husband "I want to buy this house", but the next few times we viewed it I was impartial to be honest however, he had his heart set on it. Looking back now, I wish that we would of viewed a few more houses before putting our offer in and I'd scoped the area and commute times etc out. I feel so isolated and alone, I'm now 50 mins away from my family & friends and 1hr 15ish away from work, I'm not particularly fond of the area - it's ok but I feel like it isn't a scratch on where we previously lived (my husband is though, as he works there). The house is in good condition, it just needs modernising. Ideally we'd like to extend as the kitchen is so tiny, but cannot afford to do so for the next five years at least. We upgraded from a 2 bed (rented) house, to a 3 bed as we have a 14 month old and 3 cats, but I feel like we are more squished in this house. The neighbours are also very noisy (as we live in a cul-de-sac) and I feel like wherever I turn someone can see me from one of the windows, our previous neighbours were great - basically they became good friends. There's also so much red brick around (not that I have a problem with that) but I feel suffocated, previously you could see the hillside from our window and all the greenery made me feel free. I also feel so guilty as I know I am lucky to now have my own home and a good life, but I just hate that house. The sickly sweet smell of the person who lived there before just lingers in the air, the kitchen is badly designed, the bedrooms are smaller than what we had before (granted they look bigger when empty). And I know we could've measured up and done research etc. but we didn't and I'm angry at myself for that. As I sit here writing this at work, I literally do not want to go home to that house. I of course want to go home to my husband and child, but not that house. I guess my question is, how are you doing now? Did you learn to love the house? Are you still living there? What improvements did you make?

I really hope you managed to settle OR get out without any really tricky mental health problems.

Hopefully hear back form you soon!

Can you sell it and move somewhere else? As you say one benefit of renting is that you can change location quite easily.

Teapot55

Have a go first at making your new home smell nice. 

Pretend you’re the lady in that Fixit tv programme and go round with a spray bottle of water with a bit of vinegar in it and a microfibre cloth and clean all the paintwork. Give the baby a clean cloth in their hand too because tiny children love to ‘help’. 

Clean the carpets with a steam cleaner or carpet shampoo. 

At this time of year when the weather’s warm whenever you’re indoors open as many windows as you can to ‘air the place out’. 

babyblade41

Lots you can do on a tight budget. Try some FB DIY on a budget groups they have some  good ideas.

Extending something at this early stage  is too soon , you need to find out what works where.

Choose a room that you like to settle in of an evening and start there.  Make it your own .Instead of trying to escape make a plan on that room only and get started.

Spend evenings looking at colour schemes and maybe up cycle some furniture from free cycle or market placevwith matching colour schemes. Frenchic paint is pretty good for a novice DIYer

Neighbours come and go 

Re-think in 12 months and then decide , if you still feel the same then put up for sale 

lika_86

WafflePancake said:

Hi Lumabones,

I'm 4 years late commenting but I can empathise with some of your feelings in this post. Me and my husband have just bought what we thought was our perfect first home - however after being in it for only a matter of days, the buyers regret started to set in. I took the week after we moved off work to organise the house and spent two of those days crying in bed. We'll of been in for 2 weeks this coming Saturday and I can't stand to be in it, I'm leaving the house at every opportunity. I too struggle with anxiety and depression and have done for a long time, so I don't know if the massive change and uprooting of our lives has caused my regret OR I it's a genuine regret. When we first viewed the house I walked in & said to my husband "I want to buy this house", but the next few times we viewed it I was impartial to be honest however, he had his heart set on it. Looking back now, I wish that we would of viewed a few more houses before putting our offer in and I'd scoped the area and commute times etc out. I feel so isolated and alone, I'm now 50 mins away from my family & friends and 1hr 15ish away from work, I'm not particularly fond of the area - it's ok but I feel like it isn't a scratch on where we previously lived (my husband is though, as he works there). The house is in good condition, it just needs modernising. Ideally we'd like to extend as the kitchen is so tiny, but cannot afford to do so for the next five years at least. We upgraded from a 2 bed (rented) house, to a 3 bed as we have a 14 month old and 3 cats, but I feel like we are more squished in this house. The neighbours are also very noisy (as we live in a cul-de-sac) and I feel like wherever I turn someone can see me from one of the windows, our previous neighbours were great - basically they became good friends. There's also so much red brick around (not that I have a problem with that) but I feel suffocated, previously you could see the hillside from our window and all the greenery made me feel free. I also feel so guilty as I know I am lucky to now have my own home and a good life, but I just hate that house. The sickly sweet smell of the person who lived there before just lingers in the air, the kitchen is badly designed, the bedrooms are smaller than what we had before (granted they look bigger when empty). And I know we could've measured up and done research etc. but we didn't and I'm angry at myself for that. As I sit here writing this at work, I literally do not want to go home to that house. I of course want to go home to my husband and child, but not that house. I guess my question is, how are you doing now? Did you learn to love the house? Are you still living there? What improvements did you make?

I really hope you managed to settle OR get out without any really tricky mental health problems.

Hopefully hear back form you soon!

Get some mirror film for your windows, it'll reduce the amount of light you get a tiny touch inside but the privacy is amazing. We live in a house where the windows are right on the pavement and the amount of people who check their hair etc in our windows suggests that the film works!

Sarah1Mitty2

RelievedSheff said:

Give yourself some time to settle in.

You never know, your new neighbours may become great friends.

We moved to a new town to a new build development where everyone was new. Nobody knew any of their neighbours. We have since made good friends with several of the neighbours and have drinks and evenings out together. 

Take some time to make the house your own. Decorate to your taste. Don't dwell on the fact it was owned by someone else first. Most homes are!!

Yes, could happen, but it might not fix the feeling of not being in the right space?

Sarah1Mitty2

lika_86 said:

WafflePancake said:

Hi Lumabones,

I'm 4 years late commenting but I can empathise with some of your feelings in this post. Me and my husband have just bought what we thought was our perfect first home - however after being in it for only a matter of days, the buyers regret started to set in. I took the week after we moved off work to organise the house and spent two of those days crying in bed. We'll of been in for 2 weeks this coming Saturday and I can't stand to be in it, I'm leaving the house at every opportunity. I too struggle with anxiety and depression and have done for a long time, so I don't know if the massive change and uprooting of our lives has caused my regret OR I it's a genuine regret. When we first viewed the house I walked in & said to my husband "I want to buy this house", but the next few times we viewed it I was impartial to be honest however, he had his heart set on it. Looking back now, I wish that we would of viewed a few more houses before putting our offer in and I'd scoped the area and commute times etc out. I feel so isolated and alone, I'm now 50 mins away from my family & friends and 1hr 15ish away from work, I'm not particularly fond of the area - it's ok but I feel like it isn't a scratch on where we previously lived (my husband is though, as he works there). The house is in good condition, it just needs modernising. Ideally we'd like to extend as the kitchen is so tiny, but cannot afford to do so for the next five years at least. We upgraded from a 2 bed (rented) house, to a 3 bed as we have a 14 month old and 3 cats, but I feel like we are more squished in this house. The neighbours are also very noisy (as we live in a cul-de-sac) and I feel like wherever I turn someone can see me from one of the windows, our previous neighbours were great - basically they became good friends. There's also so much red brick around (not that I have a problem with that) but I feel suffocated, previously you could see the hillside from our window and all the greenery made me feel free. I also feel so guilty as I know I am lucky to now have my own home and a good life, but I just hate that house. The sickly sweet smell of the person who lived there before just lingers in the air, the kitchen is badly designed, the bedrooms are smaller than what we had before (granted they look bigger when empty). And I know we could've measured up and done research etc. but we didn't and I'm angry at myself for that. As I sit here writing this at work, I literally do not want to go home to that house. I of course want to go home to my husband and child, but not that house. I guess my question is, how are you doing now? Did you learn to love the house? Are you still living there? What improvements did you make?

I really hope you managed to settle OR get out without any really tricky mental health problems.

Hopefully hear back form you soon!

Get some mirror film for your windows, it'll reduce the amount of light you get a tiny touch inside but the privacy is amazing. We live in a house where the windows are right on the pavement and the amount of people who check their hair etc in our windows suggests that the film works!

Never going to match the experience the OP had in their rented property though is it, where they felt like this....." previously you could see the hillside from our window and all the greenery made me feel free." ?