Bought my first house and hate it, SO much

Lumabones

I don't think it's anything like a leak but I guess I'll check just to be sure. I think my main worry is that we won't be able to afford anything going wrong. Like I feel like this weevil issue is just opening a can of worms you know? And that we won't be able to afford everything getting fixed etc.

hazyjo

Lumabones wrote: »

I don't think it's anything like a leak but I guess I'll check just to be sure. I think my main worry is that we won't be able to afford anything going wrong. Like I feel like this weevil issue is just opening a can of worms you know? And that we won't be able to afford everything getting fixed etc.

I think that's just your anxiety.

I know we sometimes get posts on here going 'I've only got £20k left in my account after moving, will that be enough, I can't sleep at night' but I've pretty much lived within my means. I'm not a saver. If something went majorly wrong, I could increase my mortgage or borrow it if the insurance didn't cover it. Most problems don't mean the house is going to fall down imminently, and most things can wait a bit if they have to, or be patched.

I remember when my kitchen cabinet started to 'collapse'. It's pretty enormous - three double cupboards all completely full with china and glass, all joined together across one wall. It dropped on one side and my OH rang me up in a panic. There may have been tears. He was saying things like 'I think you'll have to claim on the insurance' and was talking about new kitchens and getting all worried thinking the whole wall was going to collapse. I told him to prop something under it (he used loads of books) and got him some numbers to ring. It was sorted for certainly less than £100 the next day.

Most things are easily sortable. Most things also don't cost the earth. I know some of us do panic when things do go wrong, but it's usually a case of getting it into perspective and trying not to keep worrying once it's (finally) been resolved. It doesn't mean you've bought a lemon

Smodlet

Lumabones wrote: »

I don't think it's anything like a leak but I guess I'll check just to be sure. I think my main worry is that we won't be able to afford anything going wrong. Like I feel like this weevil issue is just opening a can of worms you know? And that we won't be able to afford everything getting fixed etc.

Have you checked out the "Boost Your Income" board on here? There are always ways, however small the steps; as a certain well-known supermarket says, "Every little helps".

You can paint and draw, Lumabones. Now don't tell me you can't find a way to make some extra money; what about giving art/art appreciation classes either in person or on line? Freelance work for an architect? The world is your oyster; you can do this. Believe it.

Lumabones

Also yes, speaking to everyone and reading these has been my solace the past couple of days. I've been re-reading a lot of them when I feel myself getting overwhelmed. It really makes me feel less alone in the world, being so many kind people here.

Smodlet

Lumabones wrote: »

Also yes, speaking to everyone and reading these has been my solace the past couple of days. I've been re-reading a lot of them when I feel myself getting overwhelmed. It really makes me feel less alone in the world, being so many kind people here.

Just occasionally, stuff works the way it is supposed to. Please give that bunny a cuddle from me, Lumabones. This is a bump, not a mountain. You have already made strides. This forum will be here as, I suspect, will most of us. Chin up.

UltraRevenge

Sorry to hear that. I also suffer from anxiety issues, there will not ever be a perfect home. There will always be issues that we need to face and overcome that maybe challenging. I'd say this is more about your emotional health rather than a perfect buy.

KatieDee

OP - I too am a very anxious individual who completed on a house purchase one week ago. I've owned property before and had the exact same feelings as you describe, so I can completely relate to how you're feeling at the moment.

What I will say, is that buying a house is an incredibly stressful experience. You spend months and months waiting for everything to go through, only for the last few days to wizz by, leaving you with a set of keys and a million issues you never noticed during your viewings. It is both massively overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time, and if you happen to get yourself into a negative mindset then it can really set the tone for your new home.

We started stripping off some wallpaper a few days ago, only for huge chunks of plaster to fall off. We ended up getting the entire wall replastered for significant cost, which definitely wasn't included in my list of things to buy for the new house (it was actually just made up of lamps, rugs and throws!). I love the house but it definitely brought us back to earth with a bump.

It is still early days. None of the issues you have mentioned are insurmountable - frustrating, yes, but totally fixable. Over everything else, you have a secure home which belongs to you, and if you don't settle at all in the next six months, you can always sell.

If you're anything like me, the feeling of being trapped is scarier than anything else. This definitely isn't the case though, and while you're doing the little jobs which might help improve how you feel about your home, you can also work on a long term plan to get where you want to be.

Good luck.

Lumabones

You can paint and draw, Lumabones. Now don't tell me you can't find a way to make some extra money; what about giving art/art appreciation classes either in person or on line? Freelance work for an architect? The world is your oyster; you can do this. Believe it.

Heh, thank you but it isn't always that easy! I do work a part time day job as a cleaner, for guaranteed income. As well as that I run my own online shop selling greetings cards I design, badges, prints, keyrings, etc. I do work freelance as a designer/illustrator too. But there's always dry spells plus I spend money to fund manufacturing. The dream really is to be able to fully support myself doing that! Getting an in house design job is difficult when they won't count freelance as "experience".. it does make me question my worth a lot, but I think at least with my own business, I can make what I like and people still wanna buy it!

TornSoldier

Hang in there and things will improve with your slow but steady efforts to rectify the problem. Regarding the 2nd home you saw and it came undervalued during lender valuation, it is a plus that you have avoided a liability. While it looked good, it was probably a bigger pit to get out of.

Lumabones

You spend months and months waiting for everything to go through, only for the last few days to wizz by, leaving you with a set of keys and a million issues you never noticed during your viewings. It is both massively overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time

Definitely this! Especially since the first two houses were just immaculate and ready to move in, I was just looking forward to the interior decorating and got swept up in that. (Especially after having my entire worldly belongings in one room for the previous 5 years, even if I was sad to leave it, I grew my entire business from my childhood bedroom!)

I think we'd had that many let downs prior, constant meeting after meeting, living out of boxes for a full year, that I just wanted it to be over. And it's so far from that. Especially because every room is missing something. I'd have been content if at least one room were finished. Such as the living room, but even now we have to take flooring up! It's like a constant hurdle, which is definitely amplified when you suffer from an anxiety disorder.

I was just so ready to move in to a lovely, light, airy place, maybe I should have gone for a city flat and filled it with IKEA furniture and succulents, I do love that aesthetic I blame Instagram for showing the perfect, white, living spaces and expectations!