Beware of Dating Agencies

antilles

Also worth pointing out that the number of people who would pay 3K for a dating service is probably very very tiny - therefore you are severely limiting the numbers and therefore your chances.

Places like Tinder, POF, OKCupid etc. have a lot of timewasters yes - but the numbers are huge - and as long as you learn to sort the wheat from the chaff - you have a much better chance numbers wise of finding someone.

Also rather than using dating sites, try sites like Meetup.com and join groups with similar interests yourself - I know of at least a dozen people who have started serious long term relationships through this site. Because it's not a dating site, and people are just meeting up with similar interests and hobbies, there are no hidden agendas and people are just out having fun - that's the best way to meet people. The good thing about it is that if there are no groups which cover your interests, you can just start your own.

Good luck.

Dingbat77

NBLondon wrote: »

So actually - you were getting a higher level of service than you had paid for and the Golds were getting the service they had paid for... You got upgraded by the agency because you had some of the qualities that were presumably in short supply but not enough of them to meet the expectations of some of the Golds?

Your motoring analogy sounds more like you paid Mondeo/Insignia rates but got upgraded to BMW/Mercedes level whereas your dates paid for a BMW, expected a Bentley and got a Skoda Superb.

Yes you are sort of correct , the Golds and Gold + were not getting the service they had paid for as were "In their opinion" not meeting the caliber of members they expected to.

The only quality I had to offer which was in short supply was my gender lol., but as I said due the short supply of males Bronze members being asked to go on the intos gratis was quite common as were discounted tickets to events and the cold calling phone calls/emails /texts to try and get guys to attend events. Some of the Golds I met did viewed me as below their pay grade as I am retired have some disabilities and not up to their high standards so I stopped putting myself through that ....(Ergates take note)

Dingbat77

Ergates wrote: »

I didn't *tell* you to do, or not do anything. I clearly and deliberately used the word "suggest".

You're obviously free to present yourself as you see fit. If you want to come across as a materialistic snob, then that is your prerogative.

Well if you want to come over as a rude , ignorant , name calling obnox , I suppose that is your prerogative.

You seem to have a real chip on your shoulder about having a low income. You also can't even be bothered to properly read my posts to see that I disagree with the tiers of membership and the whole entitlement based on how much you pay thing , the clue is in the title of the thread, I have posted what my experiences are and of those that I have met

I am a pensioner from an East End of London council estate on a limited income and I wish I could afford to be a materialistic snob...Lol

Dingbat77

Originally Posted by Dingbat77
why am I paying 3k for a PA to select professional attractive men and getting overweight elderly men with comb overs who are only Bronze or Silver members"

Since this seems to be a sticking point for you, I would like to ask you (and the other members) why it's fair that women are given free entry to clubs whilst men have to pay? Neither is fair but it's basic supply and demand.

EDIT: I see Ergates also queried the persistent mentioning of what the men pay...

It is not a sticking point for me, everyone seems to be missing the point I am against the mis-selling of the dream, that by paying 3k you will have a greater chance of meeting your prince/princess charming, what you have "selectively" posted is what people I have met have said , ladies that have paid the premium, my full comment below, I am not gay and have no wish to meet guys overweight with dodgy hair or otherwise lol.

Maybe not a problem for you but the feedback from many of the ladies was "why am I paying 3k for a PA to select professional attractive men ( as promised and as featured in the glossy brochures) and getting overweight elderly men with comb overs who are only Bronze or Silver members"


It would be much better to just have one membership tier for intros that way no high expectations and broken promises.

I agree , as a guy, why should in this day of equal rights women get free entry to clubs, I suppose they do it because they get more guys coming in and want to balance the numbers some clubs not so long ago gave ladies free drinks. There are even some clubs that still only allow a certain demographic in, but as I don't frequent pubs or clubs except a bridge club doesn't effect me.

Dingbat77

antilles wrote: »

Also worth pointing out that the number of people who would pay 3K for a dating service is probably very very tiny - therefore you are severely limiting the numbers and therefore your chances.

Places like Tinder, POF, OKCupid etc. have a lot of timewasters yes - but the numbers are huge - and as long as you learn to sort the wheat from the chaff - you have a much better chance numbers wise of finding someone.

Also rather than using dating sites, try sites like Meetup.com and join groups with similar interests yourself - I know of at least a dozen people who have started serious long term relationships through this site. Because it's not a dating site, and people are just meeting up with similar interests and hobbies, there are no hidden agendas and people are just out having fun - that's the best way to meet people. The good thing about it is that if there are no groups which cover your interests, you can just start your own.

Good luck.

Many who do go for the agencies have tried the sites you suggested , however they are aimed at those not in their twilight years like myself and it is a minefield, most like Tinder are purely visual, you just swipe based on the picture. You are also correct re the 3k membership but the standard dating membership is also over 1k and is what many are signed up to at interview.

A lot of members who I have met at the socials especially the ladies feel more comfortable meeting people at the socials/through intros that have had some sort of verification by way of an interview and who they know are seriously looking for a relationship by paying some sort of fee.

I agree dating is a numbers game but unfortunately there are not the numbers (especially guys) on most agencies books to cater for what they promise.

As for MU that doesn't work for me as I don't drink and being a senior most events are held by the groups local to me in noisy pubs. When I initially joined there wasn't MU and both agencies offered the social side, meals out , activities etc which was what I signed up for, however as I have banged on about the events became full of those that have paid for the introduction side of things (which is the agencies main income stream) and who spent the whole evening slating their matches or complaining.

Thanks for you wishes, but I am no longer a member of either agency , nor am I am actively looking ,I am happy being single and doing stuff I enjoy, I also have no shortage of friends so no need to start up a group ....lol

Dingbat77

I am glad nearly 4000 people have now read the posts and hopefully won't make the same mistake as I did by throwing good money after bad chasing a dream

KnightRider

These sound like what I suspected they would be, unfortunately. Most of the dating sites give me matches that are not compatible. I went on a dozen dates in the first couple of weeks on Match and, while they were all nice, it was pretty evident from the start that none of them were really a match for me.

Others have shifted over to the swipe right/left model which is no good for me as all I see are pictures of strangers I know nothing about and I'm supposed to decide whether someone is of interest or not from that (I need to at least have an idea of what a person is like, their interests, lifestyle, etc before I can find them interesting!).

Not much in the way of social or interest groups where I am and I work a full time job as well as studying so I don't have the time to start up groups, advertise, organise, etc.

These things just sound like they do pretty much what the dating sites like Match do - they just throw people together and hope that it occasionally works just enough to create the feedback that it worked for someone.

phoenix1837

After trying dating sites I have decided at the youthful age of 45 that I am going to remain single. Much less hassle that filtering through the sites for genuine men. I have now been single for 5 years and can't say that I miss the dating scene at all. If I meant to have a partner it will happen.

katieb343

charlotte1994 wrote: »

I just used OkCupid, I met my boyfriend on there and we've been together since 2013. Though I do see what you're saying, they can be really expensive.

Another vote for OkCupid - I used it for a few years and met my partner in 2016. Moving in together next month and talking about getting married soon. It's a great site.

Hectors_House

Dingbat77 wrote:

Problem is they don't match people by their membership tier as not enough guys so a Gold female member who pays 3k gets loads of Silvers or even Bronze guys, you get professional city ladies ending up with Old McDonald who joined on a special offer. 🤣🤣🤣

It sounds like an very expensive minefield. I hope you found happiness away from an industry that plays on people’s loneliness.