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Beware of Dating Agencies
Dingbat77
Posts: 28 Forumite
I thought I would give my experience of UK dating agencies, to prevent others wasting their money , especially the ladies.
I have been a member of two , I will not name them but will they both operate the same.
Firstly when you enquire they are a bit vague as to the initial joining fee and costs , you are invited to a personal interview usually at a local hotel or their offices, once there you will get the hard sell, the aim is to get you to upscale to the most expensive package. Both the agencies I joined had various memberships, lets call them Bronze, Silver, Gold and Gold +
Bronze is the cheapest and is just a social membership where you can attend the events , meals , balls , walks etc, you get a monthly brochure with events listed or can see the events on a website . Initial cost is about £800 and then a monthly fee of about £25 -
Silver is the next one up you can requests introductions and you are given as an introduction , cost is about £1200 and then a monthly fee of about £35. You are guaranteed a certain number of intros , at least one a month , guys do better as they are in demand and may get five or six intros a month. -
Gold gives you a personal PA that hand selects your introductions and there are other benefits like priority booking onto events and some coaching sessions, cost for this is about £3000 plus about £40 a month.
Gold + No idea as never met anyone who had it but gives you access to the top intro's , yeah right!!
All the packages give you the social /events membership and usually once you have paid the initial fee you have life membership and can stop and start usually only having to pay an admin fee and re do your monthly direct debit
The reality is that most agencies struggle to get guys to join , they are not honest with the ratio of men to women and it's likely to be a ration of 35/65 at best. Due to the lack of guys it really doesn't matter if Silver or Gold ladies will get the same chaps as introductions from the matching hat , you may even get Bronze guys who only pay social membership. Guys often pay less on joining and are offered cheaper tickets at some events to attract them.
The reason for the lack of guys is twofold , firstly they see it is a failure not to be able to meet someone without an agency ( a pride/macho thing) secondly those that join soon leave when realise they cannot meet the expectations of the women even with the % stacked in their favour or there are no younger women that interest them. -
Due to the members , (especially the ladies) being promised the earth and having high expectations especially if a Gold or Gold+ there is anger when they go to events and find six women to one guy , or they find themselves with totally unsuitable intros who don't meet their criteria in any shape or form, especially if they have had to travel two days by camel to meet them, yep once they run out of matches your 30mile radius goes out of the window.
Another thing to bear in mind some agencies don't supply a picture of your intro, only a pen picture and others don't give you the age of the intro with the picture to avoid the intro being rejected, so having driven 40 miles it could be pot luck or pot bellied.
My advice if going to join , start with social membership and don't expect to meet fit guys or stunning women , most members are average , you can meet the same at any Meet Up group or on the internet.
If you are a lady and all you want is a supper club or to network with other women at the balls then it may be worth joining as a social member . If you are a guy and like to be sat on your own at the end of a ball , (whilst watching the women dancing around their handbags or chasing the one silver tongued player) or enjoy driving miles to a restaurant to listen to women moaning about the, short/old/overweight guys they have been given as intros then again a social membership maybe for you lol
Bottom line if you shell out silly money be aware that your expectations may not be met and the more you pay the more disappointed you are likely to be.
Good luck
I have been a member of two , I will not name them but will they both operate the same.
Firstly when you enquire they are a bit vague as to the initial joining fee and costs , you are invited to a personal interview usually at a local hotel or their offices, once there you will get the hard sell, the aim is to get you to upscale to the most expensive package. Both the agencies I joined had various memberships, lets call them Bronze, Silver, Gold and Gold +
Bronze is the cheapest and is just a social membership where you can attend the events , meals , balls , walks etc, you get a monthly brochure with events listed or can see the events on a website . Initial cost is about £800 and then a monthly fee of about £25 -
Silver is the next one up you can requests introductions and you are given as an introduction , cost is about £1200 and then a monthly fee of about £35. You are guaranteed a certain number of intros , at least one a month , guys do better as they are in demand and may get five or six intros a month. -
Gold gives you a personal PA that hand selects your introductions and there are other benefits like priority booking onto events and some coaching sessions, cost for this is about £3000 plus about £40 a month.
Gold + No idea as never met anyone who had it but gives you access to the top intro's , yeah right!!
All the packages give you the social /events membership and usually once you have paid the initial fee you have life membership and can stop and start usually only having to pay an admin fee and re do your monthly direct debit
The reality is that most agencies struggle to get guys to join , they are not honest with the ratio of men to women and it's likely to be a ration of 35/65 at best. Due to the lack of guys it really doesn't matter if Silver or Gold ladies will get the same chaps as introductions from the matching hat , you may even get Bronze guys who only pay social membership. Guys often pay less on joining and are offered cheaper tickets at some events to attract them.
The reason for the lack of guys is twofold , firstly they see it is a failure not to be able to meet someone without an agency ( a pride/macho thing) secondly those that join soon leave when realise they cannot meet the expectations of the women even with the % stacked in their favour or there are no younger women that interest them. -
Due to the members , (especially the ladies) being promised the earth and having high expectations especially if a Gold or Gold+ there is anger when they go to events and find six women to one guy , or they find themselves with totally unsuitable intros who don't meet their criteria in any shape or form, especially if they have had to travel two days by camel to meet them, yep once they run out of matches your 30mile radius goes out of the window.
Another thing to bear in mind some agencies don't supply a picture of your intro, only a pen picture and others don't give you the age of the intro with the picture to avoid the intro being rejected, so having driven 40 miles it could be pot luck or pot bellied.
My advice if going to join , start with social membership and don't expect to meet fit guys or stunning women , most members are average , you can meet the same at any Meet Up group or on the internet.
If you are a lady and all you want is a supper club or to network with other women at the balls then it may be worth joining as a social member . If you are a guy and like to be sat on your own at the end of a ball , (whilst watching the women dancing around their handbags or chasing the one silver tongued player) or enjoy driving miles to a restaurant to listen to women moaning about the, short/old/overweight guys they have been given as intros then again a social membership maybe for you lol
Bottom line if you shell out silly money be aware that your expectations may not be met and the more you pay the more disappointed you are likely to be.
Good luck
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Comments
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I thought I would give my experience of UK dating agencies, to prevent others wasting their money , especially the ladies.
I have been a member of two , I will not name them but will they both operate the same.
Firstly when you enquire they are a bit vague as to the initial joining fee and costs , you are invited to a personal interview usually at a local hotel or their offices, once there you will get the hard sell, the aim is to get you to upscale to the most expensive package. Both the agencies I joined had various memberships, lets call them Bronze, Silver, Gold and Gold +
Bronze is the cheapest and is just a social membership where you can attend the events , meals , balls , walks etc, you get a monthly brochure with events listed or can see the events on a website . Initial cost is about £800 and then a monthly fee of about £25 - you realise tinder is free?!
Silver is the next one up you can requests introductions and you are given as an introduction , cost is about £1200 and then a monthly fee of about £35. You are guaranteed a certain number of intros , at least one a month , guys do better as they are in demand and may get five or six intros a month. - For £1200 you can literally just go out and find someone.
Gold gives you a personal PA that hand selects your introductions and there are other benefits like priority booking onto events and some coaching sessions, cost for this is about £3000 plus about £40 a month. - People actually pay this?!
Gold + No idea as never met anyone who had it but gives you access to the top intro's , yeah right!!
All the packages give you the social /events membership and usually once you have paid the initial fee you have life membership and can stop and start usually only having to pay an admin fee and re do your monthly direct debit
The reality is that most agencies struggle to get guys to join , they are not honest with the ratio of men to women and it's likely to be a ration of 35/65 at best. Due to the lack of guys it really doesn't matter if Silver or Gold ladies will get the same chaps as introductions from the matching hat , you may even get Bronze guys who only pay social membership. Guys often pay less on joining and are offered cheaper tickets at some events to attract them. - So they match people by their membership tier?
The reason for the lack of guys is twofold , firstly they see it is a failure not to be able to meet someone without an agency ( a pride/macho thing) - no it's a "I'm not spending that kind of money on this nonsense" kind of thing secondly those that join soon leave when realise they cannot meet the expectations of the women even with the % stacked in their favour or there are no younger women that interest them. - unsurprising really. Most women need a lowcut top, not £3k, to get attention!
Due to the members , (especially the ladies) being promised the earth and having high expectations especially if a Gold or Gold+ there is anger when they go to events and find six women to one guy , or they find themselves with totally unsuitable intros who don't meet their criteria in any shape or form, especially if they have had to travel two days by camel to meet them, yep once they run out of matches your 30mile radius goes out of the window. - Come on, this is silly
Another thing to bear in mind some agencies don't supply a picture of your intro, only a pen picture and others don't give you the age of the intro with the picture to avoid the intro being rejected, so having driven 40 miles it could be pot luck or pot bellied.
My advice if going to join , start with social membership and don't expect to meet fit guys or stunning women , most members are average , you can meet the same at any Meet Up group or on the internet. - Most people are average. That's who most people end up with; usually its the personality, not the looks that people go for
If you are a lady and all you want is a supper club or to network with other women at the balls then it may be worth joining as a social member . If you are a guy and like to be sat on your own at the end of a ball , (whilst watching the women dancing around their handbags or chasing the one silver tongued player) or enjoy driving miles to a restaurant to listen to women moaning about the, short/old/overweight guys they have been given as intros then again a social membership maybe for you lol
Bottom line if you shell out silly money be aware that your expectations may not be met and the more you pay the more disappointed you are likely to be.
Good luck
Download Tinder - you'll have loads of fun, and you can buy a car with the savings!0 -
Download Tinder - you'll have loads of fun, and you can buy a car with the savings!
I agree with most of your comments but to be fair a lot join because of bad experiences of sites like Tinder/ POF etc , the personal interview ensures people are who they say they are, you have to bring along ID like a passport and the one agency that includes pictures on the profiles they send takes that picture on joining so it is current ( even though didn't give you an age unless you asked)
If people are paying £3k they are looking for serious relationships not hook ups which many swipe left/right sites provide. I only parted with £300 and £400 initial ( for life) fee that was about 10 yrs ago and have dipped in and out since then , now out for good.
Problem is they don't match people by their membership tier as not enough guys so a Gold female member who pays 3k gets loads of Silvers or even Bronze guys, you get professional city ladies ending up with Old McDonald who joined on a special offer
It is not easy when in your 50's or older with baggage to just go out and find someone, long gone are the village dances and bit old for clubs lol.
I do disagree re the personality / looks thing , with internet dating it is all about looks , hardly anyone I know who uses Tinder/ Bumble reads the blurb or cares what books someone reads.
When you meet you know before you even get to the door of the pub if you fancy that person who squeezed themselves out of their convertible , different if you met them socially and they are growing on you , they are just maybe No 4 of 8 dates you have lined up. so unless they tick all the boxes it's ..Next!!!
Ps....Have added some more bits to the original post between G&T's0 -
there are no younger women that interest them
Why would it have to be a younger woman ? I've checked out a few online dating sites and this is the main theme for men seeking women. They all want a younger woman. Red flag for me i'm afraid, I've had a husband who needed a second mother/secretary/housekeeper, he left me for someone 20 years younger. Karma is a !!!!!, she left him too
2 -
I agree with most of your comments but to be fair a lot join because of bad experiences of sites like Tinder/ POF etc , the personal interview ensures people are who they say they are, you have to bring along ID like a passport and the one agency that includes pictures on the profiles they send takes that picture on joining so it is current ( even though didn't give you an age unless you asked) - irrelevant though ultimately. A passport only proves your name...
If people are paying £3k they are looking for serious relationships not hook ups which many swipe left/right sites provide. I only parted with £300 and £400 initial ( for life) fee that was about 10 yrs ago and have dipped in and out since then , now out for good. - If people are paying £3k, they're being mugged
Problem is they don't match people by their membership tier as not enough guys so a Gold female member who pays 3k gets loads of Silvers or even Bronze guys, you get professional city ladies ending up with Old McDonald who joined on a special offer - The problem is people are paying an agency to meet someone. that is it. Nothing to do with social standing
It is not easy when in your 50's or older with baggage to just go out and find someone, long gone are the village dances and bit old for clubs lol. - You're looking in the wrong places
I do disagree re the personality / looks thing , with internet dating it is all about looks , hardly anyone I know who uses Tinder/ Bumble reads the blurb or cares what books someone reads. - indeed. But ywho you want to sleep with, isn't necessarily the same person you want to spend your life with
When you meet you know before you even get to the door of the pub if you fancy that person who squeezed themselves out of their convertible , different if you met them socially and they are growing on you , they are just maybe No 4 of 8 dates you have lined up. so unless they tick all the boxes it's ..Next!!! - so tinder?
Ps....Have added some more bits to the original post between G&T's
Anyone willing to spend £3k, is basically desperate. That's why there are no good guys there. There's no good anything about this.
And that doesn't make anyone there a bad person; but desperation is hardly a turn on0 -
there are no younger women that interest them
Why would it have to be a younger woman ? I've checked out a few online dating sites and this is the main theme for men seeking women. They all want a younger woman. Red flag for me i'm afraid, I've had a husband who needed a second mother/secretary/housekeeper, he left me for someone 20 years younger. Karma is a !!!!!, she left him too
Because younger women are generally more attractive? - that's not controversial.0 -
there are no younger women that interest them
Why would it have to be a younger woman ? I've checked out a few online dating sites and this is the main theme for men seeking women. They all want a younger woman. Red flag for me i'm afraid, I've had a husband who needed a second mother/secretary/housekeeper, he left me for someone 20 years younger. Karma is a !!!!!, she left him too
I am happy meeting someone my own age , but a lot of guys who have shelled out to join an agency want a young attractive bit of eye candy , some of the guys at the meals were in their late 60's or older and were all over any ladies in their 40's like a rash. I know some guys in their 50's who still want a family so I suppose a legit reason for seeking someone who can still have kids.
Same with the professional city lardy lady types I met, many didn't want the overweight balding guy no matter how good his personality , all after the same silver tongued svelt bar stewards, was quite amusing watching them at the balls.....Ooooh Young Man!!0 -
Anyone willing to spend £3k, is basically desperate. That's why there are no good guys there. There's no good anything about this.
And that doesn't make anyone there a bad person; but desperation is hardly a turn on
I wouldn't say all desperate , I would say for many who have had their time wasted on internet sites etc they are sold a dream by the agencies , a dream which the agencies cannot live up to. Also if money not an issue not a problem taking a chance.
I joined as fed up meeting people from dating sites who lied, were married , were time waster, wanted casual nooky or were barking mad.
The one couple I knew who did pair off were quite attractive and would have met someone without an agency.
A passport also proves your age.................More importantly
Believe me some agencies charge 10k + , but those only take the white teethed and silicone enhanced Love Island types.
Pray tell where should I look ???
I think the person you want to spend you life with usually needs to be the person you want to be intimate with unless you are 85 ??!!
Tinder , been there done it got the amusing nutter stories thank you very much .0 -
I wouldn't say all desperate , I would say for many who have had their time wasted on internet sites etc they are sold a dream by the agencies , a dream which the agencies cannot live up to. Also if money not an issue not a problem taking a chance.
I joined as fed up meeting people from dating sites who lied, were married , were time waster, wanted casual nooky or were barking mad.
The one couple I knew who did pair off were quite attractive and would have met someone without an agency.
IMO you have to be pretty gullible to believe "the dream"1 -
Because younger women are generally more attractive? - that's not controversial.
Sadly a lot of women and men don't take care of themselves as they get older and if the other party still has his/her looks and keeps him/herself fit and can attract younger members of the opposite sex they will.
Suppose a bit like owning a car , most guys want a newer model with nicer headlamps and a well sprung seat0 -
IMO you have to be pretty gullible to believe "the dream"
I agree hence my post , thankfully I was not as gullible to part with silly money and I have made quite a few like minded friends though both agencies and had some nice meals out so over the 10yrs a reasonable price to pay but you live and learn.0
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