What a Year.....Climbing Back on the Wagon

mumblingtaff

Morning - sorry I've been awol for a few days.
Things have been quite difficult with XOH and I've not been in a great frame of mind but have decided this morning to crack on with things. I'm not going to go into it here but it's been very emotionally draining.

Saturday evening was ok though - went out with my neighbour for drinks and had a really good time and, subsequently, Sunday was a bit of a bleary eyed day. I did spend £30 ish (including taxis etc) but it was worth it - lots of laughing involved.
I did the shopping in Aldi and B&M on Saturday morning and spent £36 in total but that did include a load of toiletries as I'd run down the stocks to virtually nothing.
Sunday was a difficult day, as was yesterday, but I did manage to walk the dog lots, go to puppy school and cook enchiladas that lasted two days. Very nice they were too. Don't know where I'd be without the little pup - he's being brilliant and has kept me company through some hard times this last few days.
Anyway, enough moping, just starting again today.

So, today I have done a long walk with the woofer, cleaned the kitchen, sorted the bins and recycling, given the dog a mini bath after a mucky walk, cleaned the bathroom, spoken with my data team in work and the old headteacher and sorted out the washing.
Whilst laying in bed in the middle of the night wide awake, I decided to find some new podcasts and discovered the Jenni Eclair Older and Wider series - it's aimed at the over 50s female market (I'm 47!) but it very entertaining and has good guests. Have listened to a couple whilst out with the dog and am enjoying it so far. Would recommend it for some easy listening.

So, I'm in work early tomorrow - it's GCSE results download day when the senior staff and admin team get to see the results and process them ready for students to collect on Thursday. Bit of a nerve wracking day and the results are embargoed until Thursday morning so we're sworn to secrecy. I have a meeting with the new head at 10 am tomorrow to talk him through them so need to be in really early to work with the data team to get them downloaded and a bit of sense made of them.
It's my first real task for him so need to get it right! Bit nervous even though I've done it loads of times before!
Then on Thursday I'm back in school to give the results to the kids and off out on my old head's retirement do in the afternoon. Looking forward to Friday when it's all over!

So, for the rest of today I'll be getting stuff ready for tomorrow, doing a bit of cleaning, walking the woofer and cooking something that can be portioned up and frozen for the new school year - probably a quorn chilli.
I also need to update the finances after the past few days, need to keep a track of things. If the weather clears (guess what, it's raining again...) I might get out for a run too. Will be good for me.

Right, onwards and upwards

Starmummy

I'm so sorry to hear it's been an empotional few days.

I don't know what has happened of course but I can guess. Men do deal with break ups a bit differently to women on a generalisation and they can flip between anger and manipulative emotion. Thinking guilt will make us change our minds, in my experience it only goes further to prove that breaking up is the right thing to do.

I'm so glad you moved jobs last year, I imagine working with him would be impossible now if you did. Of course I'm not giving XOH the entire blame, that wouldn't be fair, I don't know him, but relationships are never black and white so I can understand when things get tough/nasty/ emotional.

I do hope you are ok and I am so glad you have the pppy and work to focus on at this time.

Keep posting we are all here for you.

mumblingtaff

Thank you Starmummy - you just made me cry, in a good way! I really do appreciate your comments. You are spot on with what's happened. It's been a really hard few days, culminating in a huge argument yesterday, lots of tears and nightmares last night for me (and I don't usually remember my dreams, but this one was terrifying and woke me up and has stayed with me all day).
I'm determined to stay positive and get on with things, even when I don't feel much like it. This will pass.....

I'm going out for a long walk and do to a couple of errands this afternoon with pup in tow - the fresh air and change of scene will do me good.
I'm not a dweller but this has been tough.
Just time to move on now.

I won't give in or let this get me down - I have the cottage to look forward to next week and will just please myself

mumblingtaff

Had a lovely couple of hours out with pup. We did a big walk around a nature reserve and lake and finished up sitting outside a little cafe in the sun with a drink and a piece of carrot cake. Feeling much calmer now
Have also dropped the dry cleaning off at a new independent place (not part of a big chain) that had a good deal on -3 suits for the price of 2- have dropped off 4 suits and a jacket to collect next week. Also filled the car with petrol ready for work and my trip to North Wales next week.

Going to get some clothes ready for the next couple of days in work and maybe do a spot of ironing, make a chilli and whip the Hoover round.
I'd also like to plan my trip next week to give me something to look forward to and write a list of stuff I need to take - going away with the dog is a bit like moving house, he has so much stuff.
A nice quiet day after the drama of the last few days.

DebtFreeMonkey

Sounds like you've had a nice and much needed chill day, today. I'm glad you had a moment to just breathe and focus on looking forward, once again. It's hard when you're in that emotional state but it's good you know you have these things to look forward too!

Yes, I imagine travelling with a pup is like travelling with a child: an endless list of things to cart about! I'm looking forward to hearing about your trip and your adventures, though. You so deserve it.

mumblingtaff

Thank you Alicia

Just revisited the finances as I've taken absolutely no notice for days - all ok.
There's £80 left in the grocery budget (£60 if I try to keep to the £100 rather than £120). I have plenty of food in to last until the weekend and then I'm away from Monday. I'll do a mini shop of stuff to take with me to the cottage on Sunday. The freezer is slowly filling with home made ready meals for the first couple of weeks back in work so the spends shouldn't be too high.
I've used up a bit more of the spending budget than I'd hoped for at this point in the month but nothing that can't be fixed by a quiet few days (I've budgeted for the work do on Thursday separately).
I'll take some money out of the holiday account for next week's spends - I think £100 will be plenty as its just me and the dog so no rock and roll nights out , just day trips, walks, pub lunches and a good rest.

crazy_cat_lady

Stay strong MT. I'm sure you're aware of some of the stuff I've had to deal with as far as ex is concerned. It's really, really hard. Even though you know it's the right thing to do you'll find yourself questioning yourself, wondering if you've done the right thing, having to do the whole 'stuck record' thing. I'd be lying if I said it was easy, but you will get through it - you're made of stronger stuff.
I am absolutely bricking it about results day. Probably more nervous than the kids.

Maryland_Cookie

Just popping in to say I’ve been thinking of you. Things sound like they’ve been really tough this summer break for you, I’m glad that you’ve got your pup to keep you company and your spirits up. Have a lovely relaxing break in Wales, stay strong and I’ve got a feeling that good things are just round the corner for you x

Buffythedebtslayer

Sending big soladarity love for tomorrow, I won't know till Thursday but it is a nerve racking few days.

And well done on coming through the ex storm. Good stuff XXX

Elnora32

I'm sorry you've had a difficult few days. It must be difficult with the regular contact - could you block the number or might that make things worse? I think you did the right thing by getting out for a walk - I always find it helps to improve my mood and stop me dwelling on things.

I am sure everything will go well with the new head - you always seem so organised. Good luck with the results.