What a Year.....Climbing Back on the Wagon

Maryland_Cookie

Morning MT et al, can I join you on the menopause bus please....?! That coupled with an under active thyroid gland that I’ve been on treatment for for over 20 years and recently diagnosed chronic kidney disease really doesn’t make for a happy Maryland! But, like everyone else it’s just a case of getting on with it, and not letting it get me down. Easier said than done sometimes!

MT I’m really pleased that you had the opportunity to tell your XOH exactly how you felt, and to do that in a calm and collected way is testament to how you’ve handled his behaviour over recent times. I know it will be hard, but I hope you feel pleased with how it went and how well you’ve handled yourself, I know I feel pleased for you, he doesn’t deserve you.

It’s raining here again, doesn’t really feel like we’ve had a summer at all this year does it? Have a great day and enjoy the walk planned with the dog walker and woofer.

mumblingtaff

Thanks Maryland. Gosh, you've been through the mill! Sometimes, though, you are allowed a sulky day so don't be too hard on yourself.
With regards to OH, I've not heard from him since - just going to crack on with life.
I'm also sick of the weather - it's wet again here today....what a rubbish summer....

So, today's plan is to walk the dog, do a run if I'm not too stiff once I've got moving properly, clean the car (a bird did a massive poo over it yesterday, all down the driver's door), drop the dry cleaning off, meet the dog walker for a reunion walk later, cook something to use up stuff in the fridge and get some "ready meals" in the freezer and ..... Do the budgets!!! Pay day tomorrow - hurrah!!!

Moneywhizz

Busy day ahead for you today. Sounds like your OH wants to have his cake and eat it. He obviously would like to be back in your life but on his terms rather than yours. You are doing well to stick to your guns although it must be hard emotionally to keep resisting him wanting to get back together. I hope it all works out the way you want it to. Have you planned to go away again before the end of your holidays? It would be nice to see some sunshine before you go back to work.

mumblingtaff

Thank you for your kind comments Moneywhizz - I don't know what to make of the OH situation - he shows glimpses of being what he was at the beginning of our long relationship but it never lasts very long. It's difficult to see past the negativity.

With regards to going away, we had planned to go to Ibiza like we do every year and had something booked but that's extremely unlikely to happen, pretty much impossible for me. So, it looks like the next 2 and a bit weeks will be spent in the UK barring a miracle. I can't afford another separate abroad holiday and to be honest am not that bothered about it. I can always go to family in Wales and might look into a few days somewhere with the pooch just so I feel I've been somewhere. The weather is supposed to improve for the last week of the school holidays but I'm not banking on it.....

Anyway, had a fairly productive morning - did a 2.5km dog walk and a 4km run, felt a bit easier today and the time was better but I have a twinge in my groin and buttock (how glam!) and can feel it as I run - probably down to overcompensating for a bad back. Not enough to stop me running though. I've realised how much better I feel in myself when I do sweaty exercise (dog walking doesn't count for me as I do that three times a day anyway).

I've also done a bit of cleaning (hoovering and dusting), put the dry washing away, phoned the bank about the mortgage to see exactly where I am with it and have finally done the budgets for the next month (payday tomorrow).
I can't access my online payslip so have based the budget on a normal month's wages including my extra money for doing lunchtime duties which I claimed for at the end of term. I've had an email saying that they were approved so they should be in my take home pay tomorrow.

After all bills, direct debits, payments to the loan and CC, food, petrol, spending money, a hair appointment, money for a planned night out with colleagues on results day and the dog walker there's about £550 leftover. I've given myself a fairly healthy grocery budget of £120 for the month and £300 spending money as its still the holidays for the next two weeks. I hope to keep below £100 for the groceries but the cupboards and freezer are looking quite bare as I've been using things up quite successfully. I've almost run down all toiletries too now so they'll need replenishing too.

The £550 leftover will be split between savings accounts for holidays, house and garden, Xmas, general savings and an overpayment to the loan to get the ball rolling with early repayment. There's also a £130 contingency fund that will be squirrelled away for an emergency and saved or turned into another overpayment if not used.

We didn't go to meet the dog walker today as its absolutely pouring down (again) - no fun for the pup or me. We'll try again later on in the week. I'm meeting my neighbour tomorrow morning again though - will be nice to have some company with the woofers and costs nothing to be sociable

mumblingtaff

Had a fairly productive evening - the rain finally eased and so I walked to the shop with the dog for some sour cream and then onwards for a good long 3km walk to tire him out - he's going stir crazy with the rain but has settled now. He is only 20 weeks old and you can see the energy bursting out of him sometimes.
Have made fajitas for tea and have frozen a portion (plus some grated cheese and the wraps to go with it). Very nice they were too
In the spirit of using things up, I've also made a butter bean stew from things in the cupboard and fridge - used a Jack Monroe recipe and it's actually quite nice considering I made it and I'm the worst cook in the world There's two large portions waiting to go in the freezer when cool. Quite proud of myself - I never do that sort of thing.....

mumblingtaff

Morning!
Well, today is the first day of the rest of my life as officially single. Things came to a head last night and he's not willing to compromise on a specific really important issue that I won't discuss here and so that's the end of that. We're both clear that it's the end.
So, actually feeling fairly ok - sad that it's ended, but glad that I haven't rolled over (like I usually did to keep the peace). To be honest, I've been on my own for so long (whilst still in the relationship) that I've pretty much been leading a separate life anyway. I'll be fine.

On a brighter note, I've been paid but not as much as I should have been by about £100. I will get it back in the next salary but it's annoying as I've worked out all the budget including it. To make things simple, I've just reduced the savings to the house and garden and Xmas accounts by £100 and so they'll just get double next month. Everything else can just stay the same.
I've spent half an hour this morning transferring the money around to various savings accounts and paying bills - all done now. And...drum roll please......I've made an additional payment to the loan of £100 It says that it's taken a month off the term, so good news:) the minimum overpayment is £10 and they can be done at any time so that's an incentive to try to pay off more when I economise elsewhere or don't use up all of the budget.
So, the journey to pay off the mortgage early has started..... Once the loan is gone, a minimum of £150 extra a month can go towards the mortgage paying it off by the time I'm 55 Imagine if I can make it £250 extra a month..... Oooh, going to see how much difference that would make in a minute....

It's raining here again (no surprises there) and so I hope it will ease off before I'm due to meet my neighbour for a walk this morning. It's haircut day thankfully and so by tea time I should look much more presentable.
I also weighed this morning and have somehow managed to lose a pound - not much but better than it going the other way

Right, better get started with the day properly. Just a quick question - how do you manage your grocery spending? Do you withdraw the money at the beginning of the month and use cash or put it on the debit card? Just wondering how it would work best for me.

DebtFreeMonkey

Glad to see you're keeping positive and focused on your goals, despite this personal setback. Not the nicest experience but sometimes, necessary.

I withdraw the money and keep it in an envelope, taking out my 'allowance' each week. Having the physical money makes me spending it just that bit more 'real'. I can see it dwindling whereas on card, it's almost an abstract thing that doesn't register in quite the same way.

mumblingtaff

Thanks Alicia.
I think I might try the same and keep it in a separate envelope - the budget is £120 but I might try withdrawing £100 to see if I can get by on that.
Debating on when to go shopping - will probably leave it until the weekend. I have the bits in to make a chickpea and spinach curry that I can also freeze and a huge jacket spud that needs eating up so they could be the evening meals until the weekend.
I've never run the cupboards down so far in the past - it's quite scary and pleasing at the same time

My neighbour has texted and we're leaving the walk until after my hair appointment in the hope that the weather will have cleared by then, in the meantime, I'll have to brave it and get the pooch out for a solo walk before he explodes with puppy excitement

DebtFreeMonkey

Right? It's so good letting the cupboard (and in my case the freezer) run down so much and getting creative with recipes.

What I now try and do is set a weekly target for NSDs and so I allow myself certain days to shop, as such. That way, I have more time to think of what I actually need and debate whether those extra treats are worth it or not. Occasionally, they are but for the most part, I now stick to buying what I planned.

Hope the pup and you have a good walk and thag the weather holds out

Starmummy

Oh MT. As much as the end of the relationship is sad it must be such a relief for you. It's been on and off and dragging out for such a long time. I can't imagine how draining that must have been.

I really do adore the pup-dates and I really admire how well you mange to split your budget between responsibilities and enjoying life.
The mortgage overpayments sounds exciting, I can't imagine being mortgage free by 55!
It doesn't help that I don't even have a mortgage yet (at 31) although Mr Star owns our house. When we do buy together I'm hoping for us to get a 20 year term or less. But we shall see.

Enjoy the hairdressers and the catch up with your neighbour. I'm really glad you've struck up this friendship it could be the start of something wonderful.x