Husband kept Debt a secret

calleyw

Lover_of_Lycra wrote: »

I get that. Really this living arrangement was to help the mother out financially and physically. It's the OP's claims that the mother was letting them live there for 'barely nothing' that is a load of old cobblers.

The op does not mention if she is only child. if so can understand but if there other children why where they not helping out. Even if it was financially with what they could afford.


The main reason they moved in and I highlighted it before was the need for the husband financially. Other wise there was no need for them to move in with the mother. If they lived locally that would mean they could still care and get their own space.



Once the mum was diagnosed and no longer able to work then benefits should have been applied for. With ESA and PIP and help with her mortgage and council tax and free dental and prescriptions due to lack of income it could have come close if not the same as what the op and her husband where paying.



Yours


Calley x

badmemory

One problem of course is that the debt (overspend) is not actually under £2k, it is that plus whatever did not go into the savings account. There have been stories on here before when a spouse has had to confess to a certain amount of debt, only for that debt to be multiplied 10 fold when the whole truth came out.


So if I was the OP I would be looking to heave a sigh of relief at it actually only being that much & saying ok we can move on with this but don't lie to me again.


Lying may be a temporary fix but long term - not a good idea! If the lying has not bothered him at all then the OP is better off without him, if it has then the situation is recoverable.

onwards&upwards

calleyw wrote: »

The op does not mention if she is only child. if so can understand but if there other children why where they not helping out. Even if it was financially with what they could afford.


x

Maybe prioritising their own lives and families? It’s not a crime.

calleyw

onwards&upwards wrote: »

Maybe prioritising their own lives and families? It’s not a crime.

Never said it was. Was asking in passing about was there any other siblings who could have helped. Guess mums do not count as family any more.

Families do help each other out if they can. It seems the OP has sacrificed her own life and seems her marriage now because of it.

Yours


Calley x

Simby

If I was you I would sever all joint accounts and ensure your finances are not linked.

Yes the amounts are not huge but it’s a worrying pattern and if it continues he will end up bankrupt . If he is getting into debt he is spending more then he earns a recipe for disaster and hiding it.