Giving up/ Cutting Down Alcohol Thread Part 16

maman

Just called in to catch up. No more AF days to report. Yesterday was a planned drinking day. I might get one or two more AF days before I go away but not promising as head seems to be in holiday mode already.;)

Barny1979

6/23 AFDs today

Season_of_Mist

Currently 7/30 for June.

Back from short holiday now, as expected I didn’t enjoy the flying one bit, however managed to avoid running into the nearest bar as soon as I got off the damn ‘plane which is what I would normally resort to.
We went somewhere hot and one thing I have to say I did find tough was relaxing in the evening with the sun beginning to set after a long, hot day but without a nice frosty glass of beer to hand. I made do with sparkling water every night but I got a little resentful and did start to have those thoughts, ‘why am I doing this, life’s too short, just have a cold beer while you’re on holiday, it won’t matter a thing in the long run whether you do or not’. I did hold off for the sake of my challenge, but really I did feel somehow cheated, it will be the only holiday I take this year and it’s back to stressful job on Monday and now I’m thinking, I should’ve just had a couple of drinks while I was away, to help me unwind.

Anyway I didn’t so my goal for the month should be safe, but I think next time I will set time aside from any total, to cover being away. Feeling resentful at ‘having’ to go AF is probably not conducive to long-term abstinence.

maman

Season_of_Mist wrote: »

Currently 7/30 for June.

Back from short holiday now, as expected I didn’t enjoy the flying one bit, however managed to avoid running into the nearest bar as soon as I got off the damn ‘plane which is what I would normally resort to.
We went somewhere hot and one thing I have to say I did find tough was relaxing in the evening with the sun beginning to set after a long, hot day but without a nice frosty glass of beer to hand. I made do with sparkling water every night but I got a little resentful and did start to have those thoughts, ‘why am I doing this, life’s too short, just have a cold beer while you’re on holiday, it won’t matter a thing in the long run whether you do or not’. I did hold off for the sake of my challenge, but really I did feel somehow cheated, it will be the only holiday I take this year and it’s back to stressful job on Monday and now I’m thinking, I should’ve just had a couple of drinks while I was away, to help me unwind.

Anyway I didn’t so my goal for the month should be safe, but I think next time I will set time aside from any total, to cover being away. Feeling resentful at ‘having’ to go AF is probably not conducive to long-term abstinence.

Congratulations on sticking to your personal challenge. :T

You've proved to yourself that you can do it if you want to. That's something to be proud of. :T

I'm not sure what your long term goals are but mine was just to cut down and become a 'normal' social drinker. I wanted to stop drinking every day as a (bad) habit and find my stop button so I didn't drink to excess when I'd chosen to drink. Put briefly, I wanted to be in control.

I know I'll have a drink every day when I'm on holiday. It'll be mostly in the evening but I'll also have an occasional glass of wine with lunch. I'll also drink loads of water and tea.

Then I'll come back and jump back on the wagon. I'm averaging 50:50 at the moment and I'm happy with that. It depends what you want to achieve.

cathybird

Morning all, 8/21 and 1/2 for me today please

Honey_Bear

cathybird wrote: »

What a sweetie - she sounds so great :rotfl:

She absolutely is, and we've been very lucky with her although the earliest days of the adoption with every dog we've had has been littered with 'What have I done taking her on? Will I ever manage this? I can't send her back into rescue but it's seriously tempting. How can we stop her peeing on her favourite bit of carpet?' Her Recall is non-existent too, but all of it can be resolved with patience and a lot of chicken chunks.

We're getting there; she's endlessly good-natured and happy and the only good thing that comes of adopting a dog that's lived most of its life in a crate is that rather than have a dog sitter to keep her company as I'd planned when we go out, she's actually happier in her crate. (She soon realised that when the dog-sitter turned up I woube be going out and became really frightened. Not a happy dog, not a happy dog-sitter, not a happy me, basically, who was also £££ lighter.)

Season of Mist, it sounds as though you've had a really good think about whether or not you want to be teetotal or allow yourself some alcohol, quite literally on High Days and Holidays. I'm sorry it caused you resentment on your only holiday this year and I understand exactly why you'd feel that way. It might be your way forward after you've finished your Challenge, but the most important thing about the decision you took is that you stuck with your Challenge, so you know you can do this.

If I could rely on my self-discipline I'd drink on High Days and Holidays. I don't think I can and I don't want to risk it, but you were probably always more in control of your drinking than I was of mine. I couldn't manage the 100 Day Challenge the first time I tried it, and that really worried me - had I managed it without a problem I would probably have thought, 'See, I can do it if I need to, so I don't have a problem with alcohol.' I did - it wasn't the daily drinking - OH manages to stop after one or two every day, I found that difficult, but more significantly, my behaviour when I'd had too many was becoming really unpleasant. That was only ever going to get worse, it had put a terrific strain on my relationship with my OH and was actually threatening it. I was pretty far down a one way road and unless you have a similar motivation to stay stopped, your resentment makes a lot of sense and longterm might cause you to deviate from a carefully thought through personal strategy around booze. Good luck with making those choices.

We were out last night and I couldn't stop yawning. I'm coming to the conclusion that booze gives one the extra oomph to keep going on a Friday night at the end of a longish week of rushing to and fro and being busy. By 9.30 pm I was all in, everyone else was fine after a couple of drinks.

8/30 please, Shaggy.

marahouti

Another dry day to report so that's 7/16 for June please Shaggy. I had intended to have a drink yesterday because an old friend was in town and we were meeting for a catch up and, as I thought, a couple of glasses of wine. The evening didn't quite go as expected as my friend told me that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer a few months back and had surgery. She is having chemo followed by radio therapy soon.
She told me that (somewhat belatedly) she has decided to give up drinking. Her surgeon didn't forbid it but said " there's nothing breast cancer cells like better than a bit of alcohol". I used to drink far more than she did so I have a lot to think about. I am so grateful I found this forum as it is really helping me to drastically reduce my alcohol consumption, thank you. X

maman

Thanks so much for adding your post HB. That's what I love about this thread. We're a very broad church. All welcome whether Givers Up or Cutters Down.:D:A

Honey_Bear wrote: »

Season of Mist, it sounds as though you've had a really good think about whether or not you want to be teetotal or allow yourself some alcohol, quite literally on High Days and Holidays. I'm sorry it caused you resentment on your only holiday this year and I understand exactly why you'd feel that way. It might be your way forward after you've finished your Challenge, but the most important thing about the decision you took is that you stuck with your Challenge, so you know you can do this.

If I could rely on my self-discipline I'd drink on High Days and Holidays. I don't think I can and I don't want to risk it, but you were probably always more in control of your drinking than I was of mine. I couldn't manage the 100 Day Challenge the first time I tried it, and that really worried me - had I managed it without a problem I would probably have thought, 'See, I can do it if I need to, so I don't have a problem with alcohol.' I did - it wasn't the daily drinking - OH manages to stop after one or two every day, I found that difficult, but more significantly, my behaviour when I'd had too many was becoming really unpleasant. That was only ever going to get worse, it had put a terrific strain on my relationship with my OH and was actually threatening it. I was pretty far down a one way road and unless you have a similar motivation to stay stopped, your resentment makes a lot of sense and longterm might cause you to deviate from a carefully thought through personal strategy around booze. Good luck with making those choices.
.

maman wrote: »

I'm not sure what your long term goals are but mine was just to cut down and become a 'normal' social drinker. I wanted to stop drinking every day as a (bad) habit and find my stop button so I didn't drink to excess when I'd chosen to drink. Put briefly, I wanted to be in control.

I know I'll have a drink every day when I'm on holiday. It'll be mostly in the evening but I'll also have an occasional glass of wine with lunch. I'll also drink loads of water and tea.

Then I'll come back and jump back on the wagon. I'm averaging 50:50 at the moment and I'm happy with that. It depends what you want to achieve.

Season_of_Mist

Thanks for the posts, maman and HB. Wise words as always. I think one great thing about this thread is that people are all at different stages of their relationship with alcohol.

I did just want to add that I am not complaining about the holiday, I’m very aware that there are many people who are unable to have time away for whatever reason and I am fortunate to be able to go somewhere really lovely. The fact I couldn’t (or at any rate, chose not to) have a drink is really not the end of the world I guess.

If when I next go away it happens to fall in the middle of a self-imposed AF target, I will just exempt a few days from the total, to give me that option and remove that sense of resentment. Just me thinking (typing) out loud - it’s whatever works for us as individuals.

8/30 for today, please.

arsenalbarnie

Calling in early as tonight is definitely going to be alcohol free so 5/16 please.

Thanks for the good wishes. Hospital visit was pants. Not feeling great as more news not going my way. Will know a bit more in the week. Keeping my fingers crossed. It’s awful being in limbo but nothing I can do about it.

Interesting what the breast surgeon says about the breast cancer cells. Makes you think. I went completely off the rails yesterday after my appt. I am starting again and thinking about my health more than ever.