Buffy's 30 Month Plan

Buffythedebtslayer

beanielou wrote: »

Always a bed here for you Buffster xxx

I have it in writing now Beanie!!

XXX

beanielou

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

I have it in writing now Beanie!!

XXX

You do xxx

Buffythedebtslayer

Today was good in that I saw my friends. Made me sad tho as so many of us are at cross roads or confused by situations, elderly parents, housing, bills, relationships, kids,jobs. Talk about a mid life crisis, we joked we had become walking cliches!

then a dating website guy...........turned into a disaster. And of course my drunken thoughts turn to the idiot from work. And blah blah blah.

Any how spent loads today and the food we ate wasn't brilliant. Beer was good, but I did mix so expecting the hangover from hell...


there was more but am tired and in need of tea!

Buffythedebtslayer

Yesterday I went to my friend's and it was hard. Her situation is pretty dire although I think for someone without a mental illness it is just what life is, you have debt, you pay them back and it involves not spending which we all know is difficult but there is a way to do it. However she finds it very hard. Her approach is not logical and yesterday she shouted at me and was aggressive, so it was not a nice time. We did have some good points, but they involved going shopping... Still I can only do so much. I am not trained.

I didn't say the other day, but my friend got a bit drunk and confessed (?) or at least told me that she was in big financial trouble, she has borrowed money from her parents, they have bought her car and she owes them money, plus she has a credit card bill and an overdraft.

She has a lovely flat and lovely car and I know now she has a lot of stress with it all but sometimes I just feel you swap your stresses? or perhaps more importantly how you hold your stress? Like she worries about being in debt and I worry about being out of debt?? and having it covered - she has a retirement plan, I don't. But maybe I am in the midway point? like I am not quite financially sorted yet. Need to sort savings properly. I really need to buy a place.

And up to a point, she has had a good time with it all and it won't take much to sort. Whereas I think I never really enjoy things? or travelled. Life won't ever be stress free and I do understand that but oh I don't know what I am trying to say. I am feeling a bit resentful of things. I think yesterday upset me quite a lot. There is a part of me who says why do I work so hard? Why don't I just blow it all and stop being so sensible and good? Well actually I know why don't i? Cos it just f££ks up? debt, stupid choices, got to think about the long game................(what long game? this is my problem) plus I am not mentally ill.

Mum is feeling better. that is a plus. I need to get on with my day. All this ruminating does me no good!!

Buffythedebtslayer

I am not having a very productive day.

Mum and I got chatting and suddenly it was midday and the dogs hadn't gone out.

And now we appear to watching Spiderman!!

ooops

XX

Buffythedebtslayer

My productive day got worse!

Mum was talking to my sister via skype so I went to have a nap and what I thought was a listen to an audible book with some light decluttering.

Nope. I slept for hours. till 7.30 oops. Woke up absolutely starving just made dinner and cleared up.

I don't know what to do really. With no holiday to work towards I am lacking incentive. Sorry, that sounds really self indulgent and !!!!!!.


I read Mumblingstaff's diary earlier and I need a long term plan. In fact most people have one. I have the vague idea of a house. But it is not enough of motivation.

I need a better plan. a dream. I don't really have a dream for me anymore. Not one that drives me.

That is the trouble with the holidays. Too much time to think.
I

Buffythedebtslayer

https://www.psychologies.co.uk/tests/what-motivates-you.html

I did a test....


You are driven by spirit

You are definitely drawn to the spiritual side of life. Perhaps you believe in divine intervention or guardian angels. In any case, you feel like someone up there is watching over you, and this gives you strength. You are inward looking. You like to meditate or pray, and you look to a higher force to guide you through life. You are wise enough to know how, and when, to question your own actions, and how to advise others. In turn, others listen to you because they know you’re not interested in power games. You might be introspective sometimes, but your belief in justice makes you an active member of society. However, while your desire to do good is admirable, you mustn’t forget to look after yourself as well as others. Stay true to your ideals. You’ll make a better future for yourself, but try to stay grounded, too.

Buffythedebtslayer

https://markmanson.net/life-purpose

also read this, interesting

beanielou

It's interesting.
As you know I chant.
I used to just chant for what I wanted but now I chant & also take action to help me to get where I want to be

Buffythedebtslayer

If only I knew where I wanted to be.

Things that have motivated me

Education (mine and then later others)
Getting out of debt
Relationships with two significant men
More education - for a better job
Out of debt again
Got better job which until recently I loved
Looking after Mum
Sorting out money so I am out of debt.

I want a new passion. That is what I need.