Friend owes me money

Jane6

I recently booked a holiday for my friend and I. It’s quite an expensive trip so she owes me a fair bit of money.
My friend earns triple the amount I do and has a partner’s wage as well, combined income is 5x more than mine. I do casual work so don’t get a regular income and have expensive rent to pay.
I told my friend how much her half of the trip would cost and she said she couldn’t afford that much. I know she can easily afford this as it’s about 1 week’s wage to her. Anyway I was generous and suggested we sort out a payment plan where she could pay me off before the holiday in September.
On Wednesday we agreed on a weekly rate, however, since it won’t be paid off until December, I’m going to be left short of a lot of money - I’ve told her this but she doesn’t seem bothered. Also she won’t have fully paid by the time we go on holiday.
I gave her my bank details on that Wednesday and asked if she could set up the first transfer. The following day I asked her if she’s had a chance to do it. To which she replied she’ll get her husband to do it over the weekend. On Saturday morning I sent a polite reminder asking her to get her husband to do the transfer. It’s now Sunday night and I’ve had to message her again as it’s still not been done. Apparently her husband has a problem with his laptop and can’t do it until it’s fixed. I told her it’s really easy to do on your phone and offered to send her step by step pictures on how to do it as it doesn’t even take 5mins. I’m really frustrated as it still hasn’t been done and I’m the kind of person who if you pay for something on my behalf you will get the money that day.
I even suggested that if she does manage to save up anymore money then I would be grateful if she could pay it off sooner save me being left short.
I really like this friend and want her to come on the holiday but I’m starting to think this is so much trouble and perhaps I shouldn’t have invited her to come on the holiday or just simply told her if she can’t pay the full amount she can’t come.
I feel she’s taking advantage of my generosity and doesn’t seem to be taking it seriously that I’m going to be short on money because of her. If she really couldn’t afford it then this would be a different matter but I know her income is a lot more than mine and she can easily afford this.
How do I get her to take this seriously? I shouldn’t have to pester her for my money.

SweetPotatoPie

I really feel for you but can I ask, without sounding rude, why did you book it before you told her the cost?
Can you not cancel? Have you paid in full?

TonyMMM

What will it cost you to cancel the trip ( check the T&Cs of the booking) ?

Jane6

So I booked the trip for myself originally and then she wanted to come so I added her onto the booking but then this doubled the cost. Problem is I really want to go on the trip I don’t want to have to cancel it. She knew the cost before I added her onto the booking.

SweetPotatoPie

Have you paid in full for both of you? I would cancel her off the booking, not sure what the penalty would be but ring the company and ask. It doesn’t sound like it’s going to be easy to retrieve your money from your friend. If she wants to go with you, she can book it herself.

goodwithsaving

Jane6 wrote: »

I recently booked a holiday for my friend and I. It’s quite an expensive trip so she owes me a fair bit of money.
My friend earns triple the amount I do and has a partner’s wage as well, combined income is 5x more than mine. I do casual work so don’t get a regular income and have expensive rent to pay.
I told my friend how much her half of the trip would cost and she said she couldn’t afford that much. I know she can easily afford this as it’s about 1 week’s wage to her. [and how do you know she can 'easily afford this'. Do you know her outgoings? You can't presume she has a lot of money]
Anyway I was generous and suggested we sort out a payment plan where she could pay me off before the holiday in September.
On Wednesday we agreed on a weekly rate, however, since it won’t be paid off until December, I’m going to be left short of a lot of money - I’ve told her this but she doesn’t seem bothered. Also she won’t have fully paid by the time we go on holiday. [but you agreed to it?]
I gave her my bank details on that Wednesday and asked if she could set up the first transfer. The following day I asked her if she’s had a chance to do it. To which she replied she’ll get her husband to do it over the weekend. On Saturday morning I sent a polite reminder asking her to get her husband to do the transfer. It’s now Sunday night and I’ve had to message her again as it’s still not been done. Apparently her husband has a problem with his laptop and can’t do it until it’s fixed. I told her it’s really easy to do on your phone and offered to send her step by step pictures on how to do it as it doesn’t even take 5mins. I’m really frustrated as it still hasn’t been done and I’m the kind of person who if you pay for something on my behalf you will get the money that day. [I agree with you here]
I even suggested that if she does manage to save up anymore money then I would be grateful if she could pay it off sooner save me being left short.
I really like this friend and want her to come on the holiday but I’m starting to think this is so much trouble and perhaps I shouldn’t have invited her to come on the holiday or just simply told her if she can’t pay the full amount she can’t come. [remove her from the booking and request she pays the pentalty]
I feel she’s taking advantage of my generosity and doesn’t seem to be taking it seriously that I’m going to be short on money because of her. If she really couldn’t afford it then this would be a different matter but I know her income is a lot more than mine and she can easily afford this.
How do I get her to take this seriously? I shouldn’t have to pester her for my money.

Did you not discuss cost before you booked it? Did you discuss, she said it's too expensive, and you thought 'what the heck she can clearly afford it so I'll book it anyway' ?.



It's not overly clear.

iammumtoone

Lets look at this from your friends point of view. It is irrelevant how much money you think she has, you may know what she earns but you might not know if she had debts or other commitments for that money.


She told you she could not afford it.

You booked it anyway and offered to loan her the money (at this point she would have assumed you could afford to do that).


She is slow with the first payment its not on, but how do you KNOW she actually has the money and how does she KNOW that this is causing you money problems. I guess you both made assumptions about each others financial affairs which are both totally wrong.


This is not going to end well I would cancel asap.

thorsoak

Jane6 wrote: »

I recently booked a holiday for my friend and I. It’s quite an expensive trip so she owes me a fair bit of money.
My friend earns triple the amount I do and has a partner’s wage as well, combined income is 5x more than mine. I do casual work so don’t get a regular income and have expensive rent to pay.
I told my friend how much her half of the trip would cost and she said she couldn’t afford that much. I know she can easily afford this as it’s about 1 week’s wage to her. Anyway I was generous and suggested we sort out a payment plan where she could pay me off before the holiday in September.
On Wednesday we agreed on a weekly rate, however, since it won’t be paid off until December, I’m going to be left short of a lot of money - I’ve told her this but she doesn’t seem bothered. Also she won’t have fully paid by the time we go on holiday.
I gave her my bank details on that Wednesday and asked if she could set up the first transfer. The following day I asked her if she’s had a chance to do it. To which she replied she’ll get her husband to do it over the weekend. On Saturday morning I sent a polite reminder asking her to get her husband to do the transfer. It’s now Sunday night and I’ve had to message her again as it’s still not been done. Apparently her husband has a problem with his laptop and can’t do it until it’s fixed. I told her it’s really easy to do on your phone and offered to send her step by step pictures on how to do it as it doesn’t even take 5mins. I’m really frustrated as it still hasn’t been done and I’m the kind of person who if you pay for something on my behalf you will get the money that day.
I even suggested that if she does manage to save up anymore money then I would be grateful if she could pay it off sooner save me being left short.
I really like this friend and want her to come on the holiday but I’m starting to think this is so much trouble and perhaps I shouldn’t have invited her to come on the holiday or just simply told her if she can’t pay the full amount she can’t come.
I feel she’s taking advantage of my generosity and doesn’t seem to be taking it seriously that I’m going to be short on money because of her. If she really couldn’t afford it then this would be a different matter but I know her income is a lot more than mine and she can easily afford this.
How do I get her to take this seriously? I shouldn’t have to pester her for my money.

She should not have agreed to go on a holiday that she cannot afford - it may just be the equivalent of a "week's wages" as far as you are concerned - but do you know all of her commitments? From what you have posted so far it seems to me that you have pressured her into agreeing to this holiday (which obviously she cannot afford). I would suggest that you either attempt to cancel it, or find someone else who can afford to go with you.

It's not going to be any fun for either of you, if you are fretting about the fact that she hasn't paid for it completely and she is worrying about how she can manage to pay you.

Her priorities and your priorities are not the same.

-taff

You've got nothing to say she owes you money for this [by the sounds of it] so she doesn't actually owe you anything.

Jane6 wrote: »

I told my friend how much her half of the trip would cost and she said she couldn’t afford that much...
I really like this friend and want her to come on the holiday but I’m starting to think this is so much trouble and perhaps I shouldn’t have invited her to come on the holiday or just simply told her if she can’t pay the full amount she can’t come

As far as it goes, you've booked a holiday for her and she was invited by yourself so it's completely conceivable she thought you were doing this out of the goodness of your heart [unless you drip feed a bit more info later on down the line]. She already told you she can't afford it.

paddy's_mum

Jane6 wrote: »

So I booked the trip for myself originally and then she wanted to come so I added her onto the booking but then this doubled the cost. Problem is I really want to go on the trip I don’t want to have to cancel it. She knew the cost before I added her onto the booking.

Then you are being too kind hearted and she is taking you for a mug.

Cancel the booking or find someone else to take her place and don't ever call her your friend again. She isn't. Friends don't treat one another with this degree of callousness.

davenport151

If you decide to go ahead with the holiday...what will happen with spending money while away?
will you be expected to pay for most things. What will happen if she seems to have no money for food, trips etc?
I think you should cancel hers and go yourself.