Friend owes me money

Pollycat

I think there's a lot wrong with your first post.
1. Your assumption about her finances.
2. Your comparison between your income, your expensive rent and other outgoings.
3. Your bizarre payment plan.
4. Your refusal to leave it until the end of the weekend for her to set up the DD. You come across as badgering your friend and I'm sure if I were in the same situation, I'd be pretty hacked off with you after telling you that it would be sorted by the end of the weekend. Unless you told her it would need to be done immediately on Wednesday.

You come across as passive/aggressive.

Some questions:
Did you invite her or did she ask to come? Your posts are contradictory.
What did she say when you told her how much it would cost before you added her to the booking?
Why did you feel it necessary to give her the option of paying you back until after the holiday was over?
What are the cancellation terms to take her off the booking?

Domayne

Maybe she felt coerced and bamboozled into going since you said she did tell you that she couldn't afford it. Regardless of how much she earns, maybe she has expensive outgoings.
I paid for a friend and I to go to Vegas in 2015, almost 4 years later, she still owes me £500 from it.
Don't pay for anyone if you are not prepared to be out of pocket. The only thing you can do is try and cancel the trip or just take the cost on the chin if you have no proof she said she would pay you back.

dawyldthing

Never ever book anything, do anything until you have the money in your hands. If folk can’t afford it either save until you can book it together or put it off a year until it can be paid for.

Lending anyone money is a recepie for disaster and only do it if you can afford to wipe it off

Doodles

OP your first mistake was not listening at the beginning when she told you she cannot afford it. That should have been the end of it.

You do come across as a bit controlling from your post if I am honest. There are a lot of "I told her …" sentences in your post. And the fact she earns more than you is irrelevant! I suspect she has more bills, or expensive outgoings than you because of that.


She stated her husband would do the transfer over the weekend, yet on the Saturday morning you were 'politely' reminding her. That's not polite, that's just pushy and badgering.

I suspect she is already having second thoughts and that's why she hasn't been in touch. Give it a few more days but I very much doubt this is going to work out.

Jane6

Thanks everyone for all your messages. I guess I didn’t make it clear in my original post so I’ll do my best to explain it now.
I booked the holiday for myself originally and when I was telling her about it she mentioned that she’d love to come. Since I was going on my own anyway I thought it would be nice to have company. I enquired with the travel company about adding her on. The price doubles. I tell her how much it would cost (I haven’t added her on at this stage), she says she can’t afford that. Yes in hindsight I probably should have left it there, but being the good friend I am I suggested we sort out a payment plan where she could pay me off weekly. We agreed on this, with her saying ‘I’ll work out how much it is to pay you back before the holiday’. With her permission I added her onto the booking - I didn’t just book it and then request the money. If she didn’t want to come she couldve said no, I didn’t force her into coming. When she’s been added onto the booking I get in touch to tell her and she says after speaking to her husband she can pay me at a weekly rate until December (it will all be paid of by then) but if she can save up anymore she’ll pay me off sooner. I wasn’t too impressed that it would take her that long to pay and it wouldn’t be paid off by the holiday but for the sake of having company on the trip and thinking she would pay I agreed. She asked for my bank details and said she would get her husband to send the first payment through - this was Wednesday by Sunday night it’d still not been transferred - few excuses on her behalf. For the poster saying I didn’t give her until the end of the weekend I was posting at 11pm Sunday night (I live in Australia) I think that’s pretty much the end of the weekend. Even though I don’t know they’re exact income situation I know how much they both earn, they don’t have a mortgage or have children, they don’t have a lavish lifestyle, they should easily be able to afford this. Last night when we were discussing the weekly payment plan, I said if you’re able to save up any more money on top of that weekly payment I’d really appreciate it as I’m going to be left short - she was the first one to say earlier about saving up, however, she’s now saying the weekly payment plan is all she can afford she couldn’t save up any more money to pay it off sooner. I appreciate people’s suggestions of I cancel her part of the booking. How much longer should I give her to make the first payment before I cancel? She’s had my bank details for 5days, it takes 5mins to set up the transfer, so how much longer should I give her?

Socajam

From someone who was burnt very badly last year with a person who I would have done anything for, please cancel her portion of the holiday and go on your own as planned.
Trust me this is just the first step of what is to come.
My motto going forward is not to let anyone any more whatsoever, no matter how desperate they are. Let them go to a bank etc, because you know what, they will have to repay the loan.

Marvel1

Jane6 wrote: »

So I booked the trip for myself originally and then she wanted to come so I added her onto the booking but then this doubled the cost. Problem is I really want to go on the trip I don’t want to have to cancel it. She knew the cost before I added her onto the booking.

Just cancel hers, it will be cheaper than the money you lost as I doubt you will get it back.

It takes less than 5 minutes for a standing order to be set up (it's not a direct debit).

Les79

So the cost is "1 weeks wage for her" and yet you've got her on a weekly payment plan which runs for around 40 weeks (to December)?!


A comical oddity is the fact that, if your friend is working 40 hours per week, your payment plan running to December (well 40 weeks) will be for the exact hourly wage of your friend!


If she is on minimum wage, are you enforcing the 3p on the end of the £7.83?


I suspect that your post is not completely accurate here because that payment plan is absolutely barmy! An alternative weekly payment plan for 27 weeks (between now and 1st September) would see 27 weeks, and ignoring taxes roughly £313.20 a week and thus 313.20/27 = £11.60 weekly payments.




Is your friend on the breadline to such an extent where about £3.80 a week is crucial?

Jane6

@Les79 it was her idea to do a 40week payment plan. We live in Australia she’s paying me $40/week, she’ll earn quite a bit more than that as an hourly wage. The total of her cost is $1600, her weekly wage is $1900 before tax. ive asked her to pay it off sooner but she says she can’t afford this.

Pollycat

Jane6 wrote: »

I tell her how much it would cost (I haven’t added her on at this stage), she says she can’t afford that.

So why on earth did you go ahead and add her to your booking?
You keep banging on about her disposable income but - unless you have access to her and her partner's finances - you have no idea how much money she has.

And it was me who said you'd not given enough time after providing your bank details.
How are we to know where you're based?
This is a UK website.