Next door neighbour still being noisy despite telling her...

mollycat

Norman_Castle wrote: »

Portraying someone as "silly" because they don't agree with you is just condescending.


Apparently the op has removed her post and who can blame her.


I didn't need to tell the op she is "correct" or being reasonable. I accepted her judgement.


How to help the op? Rather than your approach of telling her she is wrong, very helpful, as previously suggested distract herself with her own noise such as a radio or work with the neighbour.

If you could quote where I said the OP was wrong, that would be helpful both to me and others following the thread.

I'm not sure if it's the provision of an "alternative perspective" that has annoyed you so much , as the effect seems to have caused you to possibly misconstrue posts in this thread which disagree with you.

I would find it disappointing if you were deliberately misrepresenting what others said in previous posts in order to "entertain"yourself.

Anyway, I'm off out. Glad we agreed the OP should be using distraction etc, rather than puting notes through people's doors. Bye.

Norman_Castle

mollycat wrote: »

If you could quote where I said the OP was wrong, that would be helpful both to me and others following the thread.

mollycat wrote: »

I see nothing here that is inconsiderate, excessive or worthy of "upset".

.............

need_an_answer

A though has just occurred to me....

If the OP goes down the route of expensive and somewhat intrusive to install sound proofing what impact would that have on potential buyers further down the line?


As a buyer would you view that as "great I wont be bothered with noise" or would it make you rethink offering on the property simply because there was or could be a potential issue with the neighbouring noise?
It is quite an extreme form of defence and if there are issues with noise surely some will link noise with the word "antisocial" (irrespective of if it is relevant in this case or not)


I'm still of the opinion that you would never block all the noise as the OP describes simply because if it is when shes talking/laughing on the phone this can happen anywhere within the property boundary so whats to stop the OP from calls in the garden....

If as a potential purchaser you looked at the property that was soundproofed to the rafters and beyond surely that implies that at some point there could have been the potential of a neighbour dispute...that would make me walk away however nice or well done the work was.

Far too expensive to soundproof IMO and could put buyers off when you come to sell

Sophie_10

I am very confused about how this has turned into a massive argument with the few sarcastic, immature comments also, as I was just after advice and it's getting petty now. I said from the start that I could see it from my neighbour’s perspective, which is why I was after advice because it isn’t a black and white situation. Maybe I didn’t make myself clear enough or I was still groggy from waking up early – if this is the case then apologies I guess?

I deleted the initial post, as I think this can now be nipped in the bud, I can take in the vast amount of good advice (which I am very grateful for) and shake my head in disbelief at those who seem to have a massive chip on their shoulder like it is them with the problem. There is no way to close the thread, which I think would benefit everyone rather than getting into petty arguments.

I admit I am new to this and I do suffer with mental health issues (which could make me extra sensitive to noise, even though housemate gets woken up too), I do regret putting the note through the door, but I am still very young and I do not like causing conflict and hassling people - it was a bad choice on my part. I am not trying to excuse myself, though, before anyone says anything!

However, to even suggest I am bullying her is completely outrageous, having being bullied myself, I would never dream of taking that same tone. I made sure I went on my own, so it wouldn’t be intimidating and I told her that I saw her it from her side and I apologised for all this inconvenience. It was a very friendly chat and we completely understood each other. Furthermore, I never suggested that we met to discuss this further, my neighbour actually did and then never showed up – fair enough, she could have been busy (again, I can see from her perspective.) Remember, it is always best to not assume the worst of someone without getting the true facts (and I am an honest person), as it comes across lazy and ignorant. It is shocking how people don’t seem to actually read things properly and just go with their own version of events!

Furthermore, I’m not a martian that has just landed on this planet, I do realise that when I made a simple joke about how living in a detached would solve all my problems, it wouldn’t necessarily. Apparently, even jokes are getting pulled apart now. I do realise that things like lawnmowers and noisy kids exist in this world. I do also know that France is an hour ahead of us and I do understand that there are noisy roads outside that people are entitled to use. I can assure you my IQ isn’t quite that low as some may think. I may not be as eloquent with my words or possess the sarcastic wit that seems pretty popular, but I’m not thick.

I have already mentioned that I am taking steps now to eliminate the noise by going in the spare room and looking into soundproofing, so thank you to most of you for your help. As already mentioned, to repeat, I have made compromises by sleeping in the spare room, wearing ear plugs, trying to sleep through the loud laughing and shouting early in the morning, putting music over it and looking into soundproofing. Surely my frustration can be slightly understood?! To get a dog or child to counteract the noise is not in my nature – revenge to that extent is completely immature, even if the comment was sarcastic.

Thank you for all that have kept a level head and offered genuine, helpful advice, I do appreciate it and I am definitely taking it on board.

need_an_answer

Actually Sophie the comment I made regarding getting a child or a dog was in no way meant as sarcastic.

It was made in reply to your post where you clearly said that the neighbour didn't even say hello to you when you moved in,preferring to just find out if you had either a dog or a child.

Potentially your neighbour views the noise made by dogs and children in the same distain that you are now viewing her intrusion to your life.
It may well have been an opening for you to discuss noise issues and what bothers both of you although I suspect that perhaps the time for a friendly chat between yourself and the neighbour has gone now.


How long have you lived in the property?

nothing revengeful or immature in what I suggested.

Sophie_10

need_an_answer wrote: »

Actually Sophie the comment I made regarding getting a child or a dog was in no way meant as sarcastic.

It was made in reply to your post where you clearly said that the neighbour didn't even say hello to you when you moved in,preferring to just find out if you had either a dog or a child.

Potentially your neighbour views the noise made by dogs and children in the same distain that you are now viewing her intrusion to your life.
It may well have been an opening for you to discuss noise issues and what bothers both of you.

nothing revengeful or immature in what I suggested.

I am grateful for that, thank you. That is what I am saying, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be happy if we were waking her up. Hence when she first saw us, she made sure to double check that we weren't noisy. Imagine if we said we did have kids and animals. I could then say she was 'bullying' me.. seriously, I am not the villain I may have accidentally painted!

We already have had a friendly chat (no bullying!) and she agreed to meet up with us but never turned up. Not sure if it would come across harassing if I remind her of this? Lived here since December.

need_an_answer

How long have you lived in the property? only since December,very early days then.
From her point of view I can possibly see that she thinks some young girl has moved in next door and us trying to change the way she lives!
You are from 2 generations and sometimes they don't always mix...you need to find some common ground

Are you on any form of speaking terms with the neighbour at the moment? do you say hello when you cross at your respective front doors for example...

Now that the better weather is approaching take some time to pass the time of day with her.



All these little things could help renew your "neighbour friendship"

Your unlikely to be able to speak to her about any noise until you can have a non confrontational conversation with her.


Its difficult to break down barriers once they start to manifest but I really think that trying to have a polite and easy going relationship with her is far better in the long run than invasive and expensive soundproofing

Sophie_10

need_an_answer wrote: »

How long have you lived in the property? only since December,very early days then.

Are you on any form of speaking terms with the neighbour at the moment? do you say hello when you cross at your respective front doors for example...

Now that the better weather is approaching take some time to pass the time of day with her.

All these little things could help renew your "neighbour friendship"

Your unlikely to be able to speak to her about any noise until you can have a non confrontational conversation with her.


Its difficult to break down barriers once they start to manifest but I really think that trying to have a polite and easy going relationship with her is far better in the long run than invasive and expensive soundproofing

She stays in her house most days so I never get chance to say hello. She is a very private person and I do worry about invading her privacy.

I do hope our initial friendly chat was non-confrontational, I am pretty positive it was.

While we are having a polite and easy going relationship, I am strongly under the impression that this noise issue will not disappear easily. Like has been repeated to me, it is her house and it's her job. Soundproofing may be our only option and, in the case, she might benefit from this too, perhaps?

need_an_answer

Sophie_10 wrote: »

We already have had a friendly chat (no bullying!) and she agreed to meet up with us but never turned up. Not sure if it would come across harassing if I remind her of this? Lived here since December.

It doesn't need to be a formal chat you have with her,maybe she doesn't want to feel as if she has to meet you and your housemate at a set location to discuss something that she sees no issue with.

Could you try chatting to her over the garden fence where the atmosphere may be a little less intimidating or challenging.

PhilE

need_an_answer wrote: »

A though has just occurred to me....

If the OP goes down the route of expensive and somewhat intrusive to install sound proofing what impact would that have on potential buyers further down the line?


As a buyer would you view that as "great I wont be bothered with noise" or would it make you rethink offering on the property simply because there was or could be a potential issue with the neighbouring noise?
It is quite an extreme form of defence and if there are issues with noise surely some will link noise with the word "antisocial" (irrespective of if it is relevant in this case or not)


I'm still of the opinion that you would never block all the noise as the OP describes simply because if it is when shes talking/laughing on the phone this can happen anywhere within the property boundary so whats to stop the OP from calls in the garden....

If as a potential purchaser you looked at the property that was soundproofed to the rafters and beyond surely that implies that at some point there could have been the potential of a neighbour dispute...that would make me walk away however nice or well done the work was.

Far too expensive to soundproof IMO and could put buyers off when you come to sell

Im considering having my home soundproofed, because I'm a musician and don't want to disturb my neighbors. That would be my answer to a buyer.

I remember seeing a semi property where the owner was a DJ. He'd soundproofed the party wall for the same reason.

In this case the OP is concerned (rightly) with what is technically the sounds of everyday living. This is due to an ineffective party wall, which may be rectified by soundproofing. All that needs to be said here, is that the sound proofing was for increased privacy. The UK is full of properties with ineffective party walls, so this is fully understandable.

If anything, it could add value to the property as it has remedied a build issue and given both the neighbor and occupant, increased privacy. For some of us, worrying if our own noise is disturbing others is also distressing. Wouldn't want the neighbors to hear me and a girlfriend. 8K for lifelong privacy in the bedroom would be well worth it!

If the neighbors were on crack, head banging the wall all night with pitbulls barking in the garden 24/7, that would be a different matter.

If we all had to declare neighbors walking/talking loudly, no one would sell anything.