I will cut my coat according to my cloth. {Edited by Forum team} 2019 1 January 2019 at 3:36PM edited 28 August 2019 at 1:38PM in Marriage, Relationships & Families 2.1K replies 511.7K views

Savvy_sewing

Finally all 4 children are asleep. The last two hours was extremely difficult as the Lad played up and was so disruptive that he kept the others awake.
He is going to be a handful for quite some time I fear. But at home I only have two of them to deal with.
Dgd has been a great help playing with them today which made the afternoon easier. It's just been tough since 7pm trying to get one down only for the Lad to scream and throw a tantrum and wake them up again.
Not sure if I could cope with four very often anymore.

Tea!! I need tea!!

beanielou

Passes tea very quickly
You are amazing. You really are

Savvy_sewing

beanielou wrote: »

Passes tea very quickly
You are amazing. You really are

Not really. Think "Muggins" is more apt.

Still waiting for my daughter to return so I can go home.

just_trying

Could you stay since they all seem settled for now!

Your doing great.

Savvy_sewing

just_trying wrote: »

Could you stay since they all seem settled for now!

Your doing great.

Kids are staying the night here and DS is collecting them in the morning. It's only me and Dgd due to go home. I was expecting Biggest home at 10 but it's now 11. I only agreed to come here as she said she wasn't going to be late. Hate to know what her version of late is. But I am hoping that the road will be open tonight. Tomorrow is the Grand Prix so the road becomes a no go area with all roads going in to Silverstone and nowhere else. Oo I hear a car. Time to go home at last.

just_trying

Safe journey. At least you can potter and do what you need at home tomorrow relaxed.

annandale

The lad? You mean your sons kid who is being brought up in a dysfunctional environment? What do you expect the wee one to behave like? He’s got a dysfunctional mum and dad. What chance does he have? He’s a kid. He didn’t choose to be born into this mess. Did he? Yes it’s admirable that you are trying to keep your family together but your son is irresponsible. Don’t blame a child for being born into chaos. You clear up after them all. It’s a horribly co dependent relationship all round. And most people are so busy clapping you on here they don’t look to see how you might have enabled this. Seriously. Most parents don’t spend their lives propping up adult kids and the fact that you need to suggests that you have issues you have never worked on and need to.

annandale

And I am sorry. I have never seen a kid your granddaughters age be off school so much. Or be at a and e. It’s just constant dramas. Your son is an adult. You do nothing but clear up after him. And it’s not dyslexia that’s the issue. Plenty of people have that and get on with life. I’m sorry. But I think most of your issues stem from your need to be needed. You should not have had to have ten years of close the purse. Just shut it and get on with your life.

Molly41

Oh you are back are you? oh dear nothing constructive but criticism just leave moo alone she is doing her very best in difficult circumstances.

allconnected

Molly41, you must realise that to an unbiased observer (this is a public forum for anyone to read and comment) it may seem rather shocking that someone who couldn’t bring up most of her own children to be adequately functioning adults in society is being entrusted with the next generation in even more chaotic circumstances.

Despite popular scaremongering it is very, very rare for children to be taken out of the care of their parents through state intervention, even where they have learning disabilities or other problems such as addiction. Three of Mooloos four children have proved incapable of independent parenting, but are still around with their own demands on her, contributing to the ongoing situation for a number of children who will grow up without the foggiest idea of what a stable family life looks like and how they belong in it - and most importantly who they can trust to have their best interests at heart.

What are these boys going to do when they are troubled teens (which can happen in the most stable families) and Mooloo is a frail pensioner with her own dysfunctional children still leaning on her? There is no evidence here of any planning for the best outcome for the children long term, and they deserve better.

This is none of my business “in real life” and I won’t comment again - but please recognise that to many people, keeping these children in this environment surrounded by multiple examples of how not to parent, with people they know should put them first but are congenitally unable to do so, is not necessarily in their best interests.