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Fake marriage

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  • Marges
    Marges Posts: 22 Forumite
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    Long-winded, I presume you mean "I don't love him any more".

    How can I say that when I've been with him from the age of 18? And I would be blamed for family break-up.
  • Marges
    Marges Posts: 22 Forumite
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    I haven't taken my annual leave this year because things at home have been so bad. I have tried to talk him about a holiday, me paying, but he refuses to go anywhere we haven't been before ie. Europe. This is a big worry as I feel if I stick with him I will never travel outside Europe.
  • thorsoak
    thorsoak Posts: 7,166 Forumite
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    My suggestion? Find out what it would be like on your own - by booking a holiday on your own, in a place that he does not want to go. Tell your children that you have always wanted to go there, but as father doesn't want to go, you will go on your own - before it is too late.
  • dawyldthing
    dawyldthing Posts: 3,438 Forumite
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    Marges wrote: »
    I haven't taken my annual leave this year because things at home have been so bad. I have tried to talk him about a holiday, me paying, but he refuses to go anywhere we haven't been before ie. Europe. This is a big worry as I feel if I stick with him I will never travel outside Europe.

    You could always stay together but build a life for yourself out the home. There’s plenty of holiday companies trips you could join, see if the family want to join you. I wouldn’t put your life on hold either way.

    Yeah selling up is an option but it sounds like he’s got it lush now. The other thing is with you not being sure if your on the land registry - you can pay £3 to see who own any house so I’d start off by doing that

    https://www.gov.uk/search-property-information-land-registry

    If you don’t trust the link just google land registry. It’s on the government website
    :T:T :beer: :beer::beer::beer: to the lil one :) :beer::beer::beer:
  • Change the locks and kick him out. That is what you want?

    It’s Christmas. He lost his job and us sixty. Time you looked at what is next!

    Oops sorry, you never had a joint account, where you both paid the shares. Now what?
  • poorweelass
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    I understand where you are coming from, Im kind of in a similar boat myself, mid 50s in what looks like a good marriage from the outside, but .........

    I have the added problem of having my mother living with us, seriously if she wasn't alive Id have been gone years ago


    I think personally, that these posts are probably the first time you have admitted out aloud that all is not rosey. Thats ok, that takes some getting used to. You don't have to be rash and act right now, this week or even this year, its taken you over 30 years to get to this stage, a few more months or years working out what you want to do won't harm, not in the long run

    Can you get some counselling to see if you can work out what you really want and get the support you need to get to where you want to be. Marriage guidance ( or whatever its called now ) perhaps?
  • Marges
    Marges Posts: 22 Forumite
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    Thanks for all comments, I have looked at relate web site but no way he'd be willing to speak to strangers. I have also looked at group hol's for solo travelers from comment above which might be worth a try.
  • moneyistooshorttomention
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    He's not working - which would lead one to think there's probably not enough money coming into the home?

    Is money a problem or comfortable or there's some sloshing-around spare?

    I'd echo checking what the Land Registry entry says for the house - but chances are you'd get half of it even if his is the only name down on the Register entry anyway in the event of a divorce. But it always helps to know your facts about the "lie of the land" in the first place.

    I'd echo the others and say that (subject to there being enough money to do so) then just take yourself off on your own for the holidays he doesn't wish to come along on with you. Also - if you decide to stay - then there's nothing stopping you generally leading the life of a single person (even though you're married) = so find groups/activities you wish to join, make friends of your own and generally lead the life of a single.

    You might find that's enough to decide you're okay staying married on the one hand. On the other hand - you might decide to go "full blown" as a single and live on your own (but, if you do, then do check out the finances and be very sure you'd have enough money to buy a home of your own before breaking up the marriage).
  • poorweelass
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    Marges wrote: »
    Thanks for all comments, I have looked at relate web site but no way he'd be willing to speak to strangers. I have also looked at group hol's for solo travelers from comment above which might be worth a try.


    You don't have to go to relate as a couple, you can go on your own
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 34,796 Forumite
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    Marges wrote: »
    Is it worth calling it quits and trying to enjoy what's left of life although I know my kids would blame me?
    Marges wrote: »
    Long-winded, I presume you mean "I don't love him any more".

    How can I say that when I've been with him from the age of 18? And I would be blamed for family break-up.
    Why would you be blamed for the marriage break-up?
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